Honestly I thought this was going to be a guide to increasing the fluffiness of a hamster. Clickbait indeed!!!

Genuinely will be thinking about this hamster essay. Something about the conscientious listing of facts up to and INCLUDING the end just hits. Thinking about shame around "failure to love", which becomes so visible in its ABSENCE here. The child's mind..

"They threw them in the lake afterwards" is when I knew this essay should've won a Newbery Award

If we all had the pragmatism and emotional regulation of your 8 year old self, therapy would be a thing of the past!

I got halfway into this thing before I realized that the hamster is named Fluffy and you're not giving out tips about how to make your hamster fluffier.

damn, make that 1,001 clickbait articles. i used to write for a pet website so i might actually have some hamster content somewhere lmfao

lmao i too thought this was a guide on how to make a hamster fluffier

Update, I read it and I'm trying so hard not to laugh in the library... "THREW" is so wild I'm howling inside. Best blog post I've read in a really long time lmaooo

the matter of factness is hilarious, i can understand why teachers were probably cracking up at this

woah, the history of that knitted hat is so intresting! so gald its getting some good use :-O

I am planning on making this hat as well in a make-along next week! Love the history and the project behind it

I saw that Halloween one on eBay once and ALMOST got it, biggest regret that I didn't

I would commit crimes for that butterfly cardigan

browsing Michael Simon sweaters on eBay = my #1 way to pass time while bored at work. i love them all

holy moly these sweaters are amazing.. the butterflies & halloween ones are my fav!

this month's 100% accurate horoscopes from your trusted internet soothsayer

i love my inner beanie baby! i did short genetic research on garden dormouses last year so it feels very fitting

mine is so true and real!

i am choosing to believe you!

oh, i mean, of course it is true and real. these are 100% accurate guaranteed.

true and real horoscope 100% accurate confirmed

I like to put a fried sunny side up egg and chili flakes on my avocado toast :] LOTS of chili flakes too. We may have unknowingly passed each other during the march also! Hope you stayed warm that day and since!!!

I will try it! I had on four layers of pants on Friday. Haven't been that bundled up since kindergarten haha

I'm up for anything that involves weird old paper.

Perhaps I was British in another lifetime, but I did enjoy putting Heinz Beans on toast from the one time I tried it. Vegemite tastes like soy sauce though, so I don't really like my toast Aussie style. Also Downwell is legendary and so is everyone in Minneapolis right now

french toast. that is all.

proud of you guys in MN <3

Another beans on toast enjoyer over here

I mean I love beans and I love toast so I guess I have to try this unholy combination

Toast with butter and honey... not the healthiest, but that's not what I'm concerned about at that moment lol

Quick, simple Switch game recommendation: Ding Dong XL. It will be the best 99 cents you've ever spent. https://www.nintendo.com/us/store/products/ding-dong-xl-switch/

solidarity from nyc <3 it's nothing crazy but my favorite is swiss cheese and tomato with pepper on toast. it's comforting to me.

my fav toast is butter, strawberry jelly, and a sunny side up egg. i support your video game goals. i liked playing downwell but it was hard for me to keep looking at it. search online for "level devil", you might enjoy!!

We all don’t know what to do in Minneapolis. Seeing people opposing that crazy guy in downtown was great, but being up against the feds is so hard. It’s all to poke us enough to make us riot again, but we can’t do that.

Fantastic blog post, being pocketknives is the best we can do until the right moment comes. Though currently the only upcoming opportunity I see to turn things around is the midterm election

@tabf5 I say us Americans muscle up and exercise our second amendment rights for what they were ACTUALLY meant for. If you catch my drift.

@polydactica That won't work, it would only embolden the chunk of the brainwashed population to turn on normal people. The government outarms its citizens by a staggering amount too. What actually needs to happen is enough people need to all individually realize how badly they've been lied to and act within their community to keep it going, rather than plunge us into an endless civil war like Sudan.

In other words, I think people are going to start taking actions to shut out and reduce their reliance on nationwide governments and just focus on their statewide, citywide, or neighborhoodwide needs. We'll eventually get better at keeping ICE at bay and move on with our lives without some stupid Washington DC Politician class dictating it based on the highest bidder. That's my best guess anyway

tearing up reading this. beautifully written sentiment. <3

Veggie recommendations: ramps, fresh fennel, citrus splash sorrel, kohlrabi, + anything hyper local. The super local people like to grow weird stuff sometimes!!

There are so many vegetables in the world yet most are inaccessible to us as individuals.

Right!! I just want to try them all. but i can't. at least not easily.

go to a different grocery in the next town over. sometimes you get the chance for new produce that way!

your next assignment is to make your own version of the "can't hug every cat" song but about veggies

Going to international grocery stores can open up new produce selection :) Even simple things like purple potatoes that large grocers don't bother to offer make meals more fun.