No use in being bitter. The new guy should be the bitter one. I hope the nights don't eat you alive. We're all deeply invested in seeing you succeed :)

i really wonder what smoking mugwort is like.

keep mixing cayenne in ur bottom paint my guy. i believe in you <3

The Count of Monte Cristo makes for an excellent read and an even tastier sandwich

incredible read

i hope u enjoy count of monte cristo! i read it last summer and was just blown away by the story. it's great to be able to reclaim some of the duller moments onboard by reading and doing your own things (and finding things to keep the evil idleness away at night is so important..). cheers and be kind to yourself :)

you're such a great storyteller! rooting for you man!!

You have a really compelling way of writing about even the most simplest of things. It’s so captivating

Thank you my friend

So interesting to hear about boat life. My brother worked on a bunch of Alaskan fishing boats, it was always neat to hear what the work was like, what the people were like. Thanks for sharing your experience

yess are you guys just doing prep/refitting work to prepare for the summer season?? that sounds a bit dull but its also a little interesting too to see how much happens onboard. hope you arent too bored out of your mind or lonely being onboard for so long :P

sanji: Yup, I believe we just finished the rest of the painting today. A relief and also a shame because I wanted to learn more about the rust treatments.

That fish doesn’t even know what’s happening in the world. Oh, to be a trout…

oh to be a trout indeed

God I felt that. I felt similarly frustrated and conflicted a couple years ago because autistic friends and accquaintances would basically often tell me "damn dude you sound kinda autistic". Then yeah same thing doing test and whatnot and thinking maybe I'd have an answer to "what the fuck is wrong with me". But ultimately I'm kinda in the same boat, there doesn't seem to be a reason to agonize over it or pursue a--

--diagnosis. And at the end of the day I no longer care to find an answer to "what the fuck is wrong with me". Basically just hey its find that my brain is not quite normal, I'll just learn to live with it I guess. Hope you can be forgiving as you said :3

I have kind of the opposite problem, I was diagnosed with autism as a small child and I’ve had people tell me I’m not autistic (including some of my own family members) because I don’t fit their very antiquated and narrow view of the condition..

i'm autistic. first i was self-diagnosed, then i got a "real" diagnosis because...i dunno, my parents constantly insulted me, calling me "Aspy," but also called me "too smart/charismatic/funny" for autism; i wanted to prove i was right for once. i'm normally never that specific about it because i think i could/do have other stuff going on, too, but i'm also fully anti-psych, i hate the DSM-5, etc. but i will share my

diagnoses with you -- not all of them, god, again, i consider most of the microlabels useless and/or only useful for the people/places that want to dehumanize us; i saw you immediately associate autism with deficiency, i do recommend being more forgiving of yourself -- but that one. as a marker of solidarity

I’m in the EXACT place especially after I got medicated for my anxiety. I don’t plan on seeking a diagnosis either because of the American political climate. I worry that people would treat me differently if I was diagnosed also :/

Thank you, everybody. It's a relief to hear that others feel this and to hear it from another side. @benny1548132 I share your rejection of diagnoses and I apologize for the association with "deficiency". I think I resisted the possibility for so long because my family would use it as an insult. I guess me not wanting to admit they might be ""right""

Thanks for sharing this. It's something I've been exploring myself for the past year or so. All of the self-assessments say yes. I haven't asked many people what they think because I find it kind of embarrassing to ask. I don't think I need to know for sure, but the thought has helped me advocate for myself. I've been prioritizing my downtime to recharge outside of work lately and it's helped immensely.

And I guess in some sense, the possibility of being autistic also helped me let myself off the hook on some things. Like, I was beating myself up about not getting promoted at work this past year. And it’s not that I think autistic people shouldn’t be in leadership roles, but I’m recognizing that I just don’t have the personality they’re looking for and never will. It’s simultaneously freeing and disappointing.