One time I saw a woman at the grocery store kneeling down to eye level with her young son, who was crying. She made very intense eye contact with the kid as she repeated: "You LIKE bananas." I think of this all the time, and would nominate "LIKE banana" for the banana list.

Sneek this reminded me to send you an email ! So I did that

@oopsiedoodle thats wild ahahahhah primed to be commanded into liking banana / @manul always love an email i will try to look after i figure out Food

It is weird, consdiering how you exist in this online space and what and how you share your "self"

i've daydreamt of an online existence more-largely centered on my site, w/ less supplementing from socialmedia ambient existence and discord chattering... but would need a fuller offline existence than i do now, and there might be an art to balancing it all too

moreso i was insinuating vaguely about how the feelings-fallout tipped me over into being logged out from insta by default now (cos i'd got blocked there), and struggling with coexistence in the mutual discord servers (blocked there too), and somesuch... feeling like an unaddressed elephant in a porcelain shop

maybe i'll elaborate some of this in-entry later via additions. just rattled up in the big question of what to share and what to keep to myself, on top of continued grief over the fallout. ok lowkey also @manul im curious what u exactly Mean by that...!

Okay that is just awful sneek, I'm sorry this is happening 😿 What I mean.. if only I knew LOL. I think it was a vague reflection on how the self is constructed thru what one chooses to share but ALSO that sharing at all feels at times exhibitionistic and as a result I easily feel naked and vulnerable in a bad way! Balancing that with the desire to share / be know etc. Timeless struggles.

So to be clear that was a general "you" and not a sneek-you in my original reply

to each their own struggle to figure out their preferred ways truly...

i mean, the pulling away from insta i don't mind, had been wanting to for a while to lessen the noise in my head, but lacked incentive & had specific sorts of fomo(?). so if this is what it took... anyway no more comment yaps ahah

I struggle with this too. I think it feels exhibitionistic to post online because we have to make the choice to perceived, whereas we have no choice to be seen in real life. We can choose what we share here, but having too many choices can lead to inaction. So we just don't post.

imagine this one accompanied with the deepest sigh