PAINTKILLER
973,400 views
247 followers
26,048 updates
1 tips
Sorry for turnin' this into such a micro-blog in the feed, not a good look, I *am* tryna work on updates to the site tho. Can't wrangle my brain around a single direction, so it's probably gonna be a beautiful mess. Deal with it.
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Had a few people message with concern, thank you. It's not that dire atm, I'm just tired of climbing up such a steep hill for so damn long, fam. Doing what I'm meant to be doing, therapy and DBT and meds and working and making art, but nothing is rewarding or satisfying and I'm constantly on the verge of eviction or my power being cut. One bad thing after another. After making headway. UGH.
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paintkiller
3 months ago
I should be glad I have a place, after being homeless for so long, and ultimately I am, but it's just so much stress trying to make it work financially. ANd between work and appts and shit, I barely go to actually enjoy it. So dumb.
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antikrist
3 months ago
it sounds like i can relate to a lot of the same stuff you're going thru. i wish you all the best and if you need someone to talk to im here. i get it. life is too much sometimes and i myself am on the verge of ending things. just know you aren't alone <3
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The problem with living is, like, what's the fucking point.
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emptygod
3 months ago
ive asked myself this a lot and sometimes i still do. i guess the point is what you make of it (to me anyways). sometimes theres no point in sight in moments but that doesnt ultimately mean that there is no purpose or meaning to anything no matter how meaningless certain parts of life may feel. i may not understand what you're going through personally, but i do wish that you feel better and that things get better ❤
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dreamcult
3 months ago
to allow the universe to know itself for good and bad, as a nerve knows both relaxing warmth and burning heat; to give the universe the gift of love through the connections of sentient beings; to allow it the knowledge that only life and death and everything they entail can convey; to have within it eyes to see it's spectrums and ears to hear it's frequencies; and a mind to appreciate the composition nature designed.
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bummerdotcom
3 months ago
To have experiences for experience sake until life takes you out, because you’re the only you the world is ever gonna have and your corporeal body is the only one you can bank on having. There’s no point to living except living, and that’s beautiful and horrible at the same time
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Gettin raw dogged by life again. Truck shit the bed, relying on the bus again to get to work but flat broke until payday in a week and a half, if anyone can help with some bus fare. PayPal is aintiller@protonmail.com - can send out sticker packs I’ve made as thank you’s!
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REMINDER: If you saw someone stealing food, no you didn't.
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so sorry for your loss of Ella and everything else going on (or not going on) with/for you. hope your fresh start will bring better things to come
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paintkiller
3 months ago
Thank you so much for the thought and message. Struggling, tbh, but trying to keep it moving. Hope you and your furbaby are doing well! <3
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tinypaws
3 months ago
thank you for the kind wishes. it's never a easy thing to go through even if everything else is going good. they sure do leave their paw prints behind on us in more ways than one <3
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I've done horribly at keeping up with everyone, despite settling into an apartment with wi-fi. I been working 10 hrs a day for a couple weeks now, ruins me. Lost my dog. Lost my whip. But roof over head and eventual income is nice. I still owe $300 for the euthanasia of Ella. Rent around the corner with a wait for a paycheck.
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paintkiller
3 months ago
I'm starting my site from scratch, too, BTW, as one mightve guesed by the update. Hope yall are well. Gonna be scrolling back for some time, sheesh, Im sorry fam
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paintkiller
3 months ago
PayPal is: aintiller@protonmail.com if you'd like to help at all in the meantime. <3
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Everything was going so great and then my dog took a turn for the worse and I had to say goodbye to her this morning. I don't even know what I'm gonna do now. Fuck everything.
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Hopefully get some updates done soon, just so damn tired from working all the damn time. But I'm not complaining. Still alive and kicking and making progress, hope yall are well!
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🫂