That experience sounds horrifying, though I am at least relieved it was in a controlled environment and not during your travels; if I believed in fate I would say that was a good, timely lesson. Please be kind to yourself and remember that there is no such thing as a "normal" person or life.
thank you so much! i'll try my best to never stop writing, though i'm sure the frequency with which i post on here will continue to be sporadic, unfortunately