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14 likes
limovars's avatar limovars 4 months ago

on minimalist sites and overhauling: although unintentional and definitely not always the case, minimalist aesthetics have slowly become synonymous with conservatism. i totally relate to the fear of being seen too. of course it's your site and you're free to do what you want with it, but imo your variety of writing pages and hobbies really give it character!

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swiftred's avatar swiftred 4 months ago

@limivars thank you so much! That means a lot. I think I know what you mean regarding minimalist aesthetics, and Iโ€™m not sure changing the site would even make me feel better lol. Just not sure how to resolve this pressure (tightness, stress, fear) of existing on the internet.

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swiftred's avatar swiftred 4 months ago

I donโ€™t want to make my sight dimmer, but I guess sometimes I feel too loud and out there anyway, lol. I donโ€™t know what to make of anything.

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sneekrealm's avatar sneekrealm 4 months ago

truly a lifelong lesson, learning to take up space in the world (i also wanna hide from the world at times - comes in ebb and flow really)

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badgraph1csghost's avatar badgraph1csghost 4 months ago

i understand completely about being left behind. occasionally i see someone i used to go to high school with around town, being a functional human being, while i'm just... doing whatever the hell it is i do. for that reason, i actually hate august.

5 likes
niicespiice's avatar niicespiice 4 months ago

you say you feel off path but i wonder in what way-- like if your life was "on path," what would that look like? (just a thought /srs, even though i often use that phrase as a joke) because i m yself often find myself thinking "this is wrong" without knowing what i think is right

2 likes
swiftred's avatar swiftred 4 months ago

@niicespiice I'm mostly alluding to the "path" that everyone is told is "right." be cishet, fall in line, do high school > college > career start > marriage > house > kids etc. which is not even the path I want, but that means my path is undefined. I'm just kind of wandering right now, and I think the wandering itself feels wrong, personally and societally

4 likes
slatch-bat's avatar slatch-bat 4 months ago

I understand this feeling completely honestly... as someone whos going to college and has career plans, it still feels like its not the "right path" . its compounded by physical and mental disability and just. life. i think it gets easier as you get older, maybe. My moms 47 and she seems much happier than she did even when she was 30, and she didnt pick the "right" path either. so maybe theres hope?

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notprincehamlet's avatar notprincehamlet 4 months ago

i've never played Skyrim, but i'm looking forward to you adding a section on the Nancy Drew games! they're my favorites!

microblog: do you have to manually duplicate parts of the html every time you make a new entry, or is it automated in some way?
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swiftred's avatar swiftred 4 months ago

I manually duplicate every time :) I'm not even sure how I'd go about automating/it's not something I've even thought about

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13 likes
skeltrr's avatar skeltrr 4 months ago

I relate a lot to your blog post, it's crazy how listlessness and longing for change can make us think the most extreme things are a good idea. Wrestling those dangerous thoughts into submission is so exhausting, too, but I'm inspired by how deeply you think about it all. I hope you feel better soon, and that some positive change finds its way into your life that helps you forget what this chapter felt like.

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swiftred's avatar swiftred 4 months ago

Thank you so much <3

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notesfromearth's avatar notesfromearth 4 months ago

"i can never escape me" same.

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I would like to enter your webring.
howdy
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swiftred's avatar swiftred 5 months ago

Some topic overlap today.

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miela583's avatar miela583 5 months ago

It's so weird to think some people don't have that "RIP, I'm gonna die" train of thought constantly!! Mine have included "tooth hurts a little," "toe mole" and "ate cherry tomato that was vaguely weird." It's not great, I guess, but your post sounds super, super normal here, too.

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limovars's avatar limovars 5 months ago

i can relate to referring to one's own experiences in an attempt to relate to other people. it's a very normal thing to do for all of us. and only becomes a problem if we don't take the time to listen and acknowledge before chiming in.

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swiftred's avatar swiftred 5 months ago

@limovars yeah, this time it probably would've been fine. I've just seen some people be really turned off by it regardless of intent and prior listening/acknowledging, like they don't see how it's relevant

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i am enchanted <3
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swiftred's avatar swiftred 5 months ago

NEW site banner, and I show you other FUN!! doodles from yesterday/today.

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badgraph1csghost's avatar badgraph1csghost 5 months ago

well *that* sounds like the coolest thing ever! and your art is just ๐Ÿ˜™๐Ÿ‘Œ

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swiftred's avatar swiftred 5 months ago

thank you so much!!! It is really cool!! I was thinking about it, and I realized, like, "Damn... more than anything, it's nice to engage in fandom (specifically) in such a pure way??" Enshittification or whatever case may be, it feels like a purer experience from an internet past

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miela583's avatar miela583 5 months ago

Beautiful! So bright and full of good vibes!

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swiftred's avatar swiftred 5 months ago

@miela583 thank you!!

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Omg the way your website is laid out is so cute and creative!!! I love how your home page looks especially its such a unique style! and a fellow needlework enjoyer :) the bond between cross stitch and embroidery is strong
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swiftred's avatar swiftred 5 months ago

Thank you so much!!! Your site is gorgeous btw ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

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Your crochet projects go extremely hard. The hat??? Iโ€™m so obsessed, I wish I understood the process to make that specifically
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girl-wonderlost's avatar girl-wonderlost 5 months ago

thank you!!! big compliment coming from you, your fiber art work is so beautiful (sausage cat <3). the hat was super easy, it was 7 hexagons (made them like a granny square, but 6 clusters to start instead of 4, and i did 3 rows for each) with the sides stitched together, then i crocheted around the head hole part to make a border thing

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girl-wonderlost's avatar girl-wonderlost 5 months ago

i free handed it from a video, so sorry no written pattern :/

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swiftred's avatar swiftred 5 months ago

It's a New day. What else is there to say but announce the Links page has been revived!!! New buttons added and bringing back the descriptions. Most still need writing, and it will take a while. If you're a mutual and your button isn't there or something looks wrong, let me know. Thanks ๐Ÿ˜

8 likes
niicespiice's avatar niicespiice 5 months ago

oh cool, you made a button for me!! ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

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swiftred's avatar swiftred 5 months ago

@niicespiice hehe, I did!!! I wanted to link to your website. I hope you like it ๐Ÿ˜ I personally like how it turned out, though cobbled together quickly

limovars's avatar limovars 5 months ago

hello, i checked your blog after you followed, it seems like we're fans of very similar personalities like matt bernstein, devon price, and ismatu gwendolyn. also understand the frustration at constantly centering the self in writing - i try to do that in private journals these days. also, reddit gave me the same type of anxiety and i highly recommend leaving it but to each their own.

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limovars's avatar limovars 5 months ago

i can relate to quite a bit of the stuff youve mentioned, and enjoy your writing - don't worry too much about it.

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swiftred's avatar swiftred 5 months ago

@limovars Ah, thank you for taking the time to look through some of my stuff, and for leaving comments :) I look forward to more of your writings. And yes, Reddit is my current bad habit! I've gotten very sloppy about it, a shitty pacifier, to be honest. It would be good for me to quit or drastically scale back especially after I made all this commotion about quitting social media..

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Hi!! You don't have a site button do you? I wanted to link to your site, so I went ahead and made one pulled from one of your beautiful scrapbook images. I've credited you on my links page as per your copyright attribution, and thought I should let you know! I hope that's alright. Here's how the button turned out: https://swiftred.neocities.org/buttons/epeorus.jpg
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