um i. was not able to move out of my parents' home. if you are referring to metaphysically moving away from being prepared to die then yeah i am more willing to live now. i am working on the moving out thing. those two things are related i think. also. no harm no foul. you can still email me bro and even if you don't i still have a soft spot in me for those that actually care about me. we good

that i'm not actually connecting with anyone, i'm just sort of being watched....i want to tear the things that make me knowable, even across platforms, apart like a rabid dog....i have an idea. i need a break. i might come back later, but most of you won't know.

i need to bury myself, in a maybe-good way. i realized not too long ago that there's a possibility that someone could've followed me from an old Inst*gram to the last account i was active on before i deleted it to Spacehey to here. that scares me. next time i resurface, if i do, i won't want to be so easy to recognize, and i won't announce it, i'll email or message people personally.

for a good chunk of you, this really is goodbye. i'm not sorry (i kinda am, but). this is something i feel i have to do.

but i see no reason to hold out until that point anymore because it was always a hypothetical and i just don't think it's coming anymore. i just don't think a better life is coming. i think this is it

this isn't even about website accessibility as a movement or standard and i am definitely not entitled enough to tell you what to do or how to format shit. i'm being selfish, see? selfish. it's just for me. it's just this

fwiw crt effects make text hard to focus on and the contrast in colour saturation gives me a headache. improperly formatted effects that tile instead of scroll can also induce epileptic seizures in people who are prone to them. if you're good enough at css to have that shit work in the first place, you can probably do a little javascripting to turn it off when needed. (honestly why have it at all imo)

nah

identity stuff matters. it also does not matter. does anyone understand what i'm trying to say

I think melonking's website has "opening and closing days", it might be worth looking at how that functions and see if you can make something similar

I was going to say sabrin.party does that but I just saw it's the melonking script as well (I never saw him closed before), melonking made it pretty easy to use: https://melonking.net/scripts/site-closer.js

...i'm gonna do a landing page

the landing page is done. i also improved what you see when i choose to close the site (by hand, by fucking up the link): https://benny1548132.nekoweb.org/not_found.html

technically, if you know the pathnames you can still access the website, but it's not about that. i'm doing it this way because i really care about having manual control, and buying myself precious time; if i can delay someone for a minute, that gives me another minute to edit something else to cause another delay, or archive & delete things in an emergency

f i can learn enough javascript, like, ever (it is not my strong suit) to give me manual control over the script itself, i'll use that, but for now, i'm satisfied enough