i didn't want spam you all or make the bombing about me but i have to keep talking about it. in me and i have to let it out. literally nothing is okay right now. nothing else is more important than making sure it never happens again. i want to shut us all up, i want to shut up. not write, not give you guys anything. not my thoughts not my pain not my copium. fuck that. yours too. we're so small and privileged
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USA is evil
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benny1548132
14 hours ago
and so are you ngl and so am i. anyone worrying about a future nuclear war or the future of amerikkka or its citizens than for the 83+ iranians that were murdered today is evil. does anyone want to take me by the hand and we can work together to be less evil or are you all just going to chalk this up to schizoposting
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benny1548132
13 hours ago
and it didn't even start today, we've been starving people over there with sanctions for years
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benny1548132
12 hours ago
i know i'm an asshole to remind everyone that the USA is evil & has always been, but i'll be that asshole. i know i may not have the right to be because it's not my country being bombed, but i'm so fucking pissed off
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someones-insane
12 hours ago
i'm pissed off at the news as well. the USA is incredibly stupid, vile, and other unkind words that i know better than to say here. youd have to be on some columbian speedball to think this makes anybody happier
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i wish there was a way i could tune into cable (TV) occasionally without having to pay for it or connect some kind of account. just so i could see what people who watch cable are watching these days
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oscarspage
2 days ago
mostly ED pills, hair loss treatments, and gambling ads. TV is awful the rare times I catch it
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i love watching Windows Powershell work. i feel like a genius hacker when in fact i am just updating a program in a very simple way lmfao. but how it looks and functions does bring me great joy. i am almost sexually attracted to watching it
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will installing grapheneOS onto my new (used) phone fuck up my computer?
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benny1548132
3 days ago
https://grapheneos.org/install/web i'm reading this and believe it or not i'm stupid enough to be a little lost on which steps i specifically need to follow, and what will happen to the computer i'm using to install grapheneOS.
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benny1548132
3 days ago
i'd follow all the steps, but the phone i'm getting comes unlocked, so i don't think i need to do that part.
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i hate money -- i mean, i hate needing money, i hate capitalism -- but i love cash. the feel & smell of it. if there was a cologne that made me smell like cash i'd wear that shit 24/7
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i had to literally beg my parents for extra time on my computer tonight, to write. and as i did i felt so small & infantile & whiny
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if you want to help me out with my website, which is something that means a lot to me, take a look at my ideas page: https://benny1548132.nekoweb.org/ideas.html and let me know if you have any tips or code snippets i can use! and yes, i could technically do some of this now, more or less, but i...don't know how, anyway.
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benny1548132
1 week ago
i really do want to share my art (painting, for me, specifically, that means painting & digital art, but mostly painting) and non-blog writing, but that'll have to wait until i'm in a safer place.
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asterion
1 week ago
"Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly" - G.K. Chesterton. In other words... Just do it. Content is key and you can make the content look prettier later.
benny1548132
1 week ago
yeah, i know. that's what i'm talking about. i'm in the now, talking about the later. it's okay for me to ask for help. also, please don't call what i do "content" ever again.
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underwhite
1 week ago
I guess i'll call it "lovely things" because it's special to you! but not content. no.
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sometimes i pull up a photo of an ex just to prove to myself i was seen like that once. i've gotta stop doing that, especially because my camera roll doesn't reset to recent photos by default, i...took a look at someone from a few years ago last night, and i opened my phone again this morning and whaddya know? there he was again. the photo, i mean. i know, i've really gotta stop that. if i hadn't done it last night,
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benny1548132
1 week ago
though, i would've done something worse. i feel like complete shit. i hate myself and everything else. nothing's notably worse and things might finally be getting better if i stop being lazy, but i just feel awful. hell. i need other ways to prove to myself i'm a real person.
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benny1548132
1 week ago
....i mean, even he wouldn't want me to do that. i've gotta find another way.
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lotus-cube
1 week ago
We luv you, find a picture of some flowers and look at that pls. It's okay to hurt.
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i'm so tired of their anger. so tired of them shouting at me that it's time to 'TURN YOUR LIGHTS OFF NOW.' i feel so old. i'm too old for this
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![Olly Place :] avatar](/site_screenshots/33/48/ollyjunkyard/index.html.50x50.webp)
and i mean no i'm not privileged i'm not even a person but like at least i wasn't fucking blown up today. we're so small. and as this goes on we all just get smaller and smaller and smaller
this isn't about how i feel or about me at all by the way. ironic that i'm saying this but like all i'm saying is i am the me and nobody else so i physically have to come at things from my perspective but also this isn't about me or my perspective. this is about them