proton isnt letting me send you emails because "mailbox quota exceeded" :(
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benny1548132
2 days ago
yeah i fucking hate them for that!! i'm gonna search around for non-Discord chat clients (i hate Discord) (suggestions wlecome) and let you know my username/s, somehow,
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I was a bit less active on the social side here and I only noticed you gone far too late. I'm sorry. I was happy to read you were able to move away from a terrible situation and that things have started to look up a little. I hope you keep doing well, you deserve that!
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benny1548132
2 months ago
um i. was not able to move out of my parents' home. if you are referring to metaphysically moving away from being prepared to die then yeah i am more willing to live now. i am working on the moving out thing. those two things are related i think. also. no harm no foul. you can still email me bro and even if you don't i still have a soft spot in me for those that actually care about me. we good
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i've been holding back on deleting/archiving my website because i figured i had to at least wait until i could tell the maybe-three people here who actually care about me i got out & i'm living a better life. and so i'm so sorry to those maybe-three people
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benny1548132
3 months ago
but i see no reason to hold out until that point anymore because it was always a hypothetical and i just don't think it's coming anymore. i just don't think a better life is coming. i think this is it
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i'm turning my profile comments off. i don't want to use them anymore. nothing bad happened, i just want to force myself to use the little status underneath my portrait for short stuff & the blog for long stuff, and similarly, i want to force people with something to say to use the guestbook! or my email. old-school style
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hey, to my homies whose site background moves/blinks/does the crt filter thing, can you. can you. make a version that doesn't do that? no, no, i'm not the authority here, i'm not telling you you can't. i'm not commanding it. i'm asking, for you to have an option to turn it off, an option. because i like your website and i want to look at it without getting a migraine or like. a twitchy eye or some shit
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benny1548132
4 months ago
this isn't even about website accessibility as a movement or standard and i am definitely not entitled enough to tell you what to do or how to format shit. i'm being selfish, see? selfish. it's just for me. it's just this
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badgraph1csghost
4 months ago
fwiw crt effects make text hard to focus on and the contrast in colour saturation gives me a headache. improperly formatted effects that tile instead of scroll can also induce epileptic seizures in people who are prone to them. if you're good enough at css to have that shit work in the first place, you can probably do a little javascripting to turn it off when needed. (honestly why have it at all imo)
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never mind about that blog post about identity stuff. i can write about certain identity labels or why i use them, one at a time, when i want to, when it's pertinent to something...real. trying to do them all at once apropos of nothing, it kind of got so hard to articulate, i got so frustrated with myself....
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benny1548132
4 months ago
identity stuff matters. it also does not matter. does anyone understand what i'm trying to say
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i can't lie down fully horizontally outside. on a hill or whtvr is fine. otherwise i start fearing i'm gonna fall upwards into the sky because there's nothing holding me down
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i added new albums to the albums page :)) (holy shit i love music i could marry and have sex with music)
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Where your eyes don't go, a filthy scarecrow waves its broomstick arms / And does a parody of each unconscious thing you do
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This is the first im hearing of it tbh. Ill look into it a bit more