but i see no reason to hold out until that point anymore because it was always a hypothetical and i just don't think it's coming anymore. i just don't think a better life is coming. i think this is it

my father has taken to throwing turkey -- lunch meat -- into my bed before i'm awake to get the dog to jump up & wake me up. i told him i thought it was gross and he laughed and my parents said it was my fault for not waking up sooner. he said he wouldn't do it again but instead they're talking about taking my phone away during the day again

and i did call the community center again to ask for another link that might actually work and they sent me another that didn't

venting like this doesn't even help anymore. it doesn't count as venting, not really. i'm not expressing or releasing anything. i'm letting the few friends i might still have here know i don't think there's a point to me continuing on

that's all. thank you

this isn't even about website accessibility as a movement or standard and i am definitely not entitled enough to tell you what to do or how to format shit. i'm being selfish, see? selfish. it's just for me. it's just this

fwiw crt effects make text hard to focus on and the contrast in colour saturation gives me a headache. improperly formatted effects that tile instead of scroll can also induce epileptic seizures in people who are prone to them. if you're good enough at css to have that shit work in the first place, you can probably do a little javascripting to turn it off when needed. (honestly why have it at all imo)

nah

identity stuff matters. it also does not matter. does anyone understand what i'm trying to say

I think melonking's website has "opening and closing days", it might be worth looking at how that functions and see if you can make something similar

I was going to say sabrin.party does that but I just saw it's the melonking script as well (I never saw him closed before), melonking made it pretty easy to use: https://melonking.net/scripts/site-closer.js

...i'm gonna do a landing page

the landing page is done. i also improved what you see when i choose to close the site (by hand, by fucking up the link): https://benny1548132.nekoweb.org/not_found.html

technically, if you know the pathnames you can still access the website, but it's not about that. i'm doing it this way because i really care about having manual control, and buying myself precious time; if i can delay someone for a minute, that gives me another minute to edit something else to cause another delay, or archive & delete things in an emergency

f i can learn enough javascript, like, ever (it is not my strong suit) to give me manual control over the script itself, i'll use that, but for now, i'm satisfied enough

this is literally what trent reznor warned us about

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA dude put a trigger warning next time ffs

^sandwich recipe

sincce when doo uu hafe a forrumm....

since for ever

ok yqaay