1548132

benny1548132.neocities.org

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i've got a really stupid question. what do i do?
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benny1548132's avatar benny1548132 9 hours ago

i feel so stupid. i'm so used to being puppeted around i can't do anything by myself. i keep waiting on the people who pull my strings to keep pulling, and they're getting angry i can't do things for myself, and i'm getting hopeless. i haven't checked out the opprtunities i may or may not have to speak to a therapist because nobody told me to and nobody's taught me how. i'm thinking of contacting the one that works

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benny1548132's avatar benny1548132 9 hours ago

for my school first, do you guys think my school's website would have more information on that? should i text the friend that first told me about this being a thing & ask about it? what do i do?

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benny1548132's avatar benny1548132 9 hours ago

i wish that either someone would tell me what to do or that i somehow intrinsically knew

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benny1548132's avatar benny1548132 9 hours ago

i mean, it's not really that nobody commanded me to do it. it's that i forgot it was a thing. because nobody commanded me to do it

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underwhite's avatar underwhite 6 hours ago

you may have executive dysfunction or depression! and no your not stupid... I don't know ur school (do not tell me your school tho I'm just some random person on the internet), for what to do, i don't know.. maybe search up what you're feeling on forums (such as reddit, it's a forum) and read the comments, helped once.

chesca's avatar chesca 4 hours ago

First of all, as hard as it might be to believe, you are not stupid. You're simply a victim of your circumstances. Your inability to act independently stems from having a puppeteer controlling you your whole life. It’s unreasonable for a puppeteer to expect a puppet to move on its own. It's not stupidity but maybe Fear that holds you back??

chesca's avatar chesca 4 hours ago

You might think, “What if I finally decide for myself and end up doing wrong and everyone will get mad at me?” But if they’re already mad when you haven’t done anything yet, you might as well do something for yourself since they’ll talk shit anyway. But It’s understandable too maybe relying on the puppeteer feels safer right now, which is why you haven’t moved yet.

chesca's avatar chesca 4 hours ago

Finding a therapist can be tough, and it's great that you’re reaching out. In the meantime, while you’re still on the search, consider free alternatives. Talking to a trusted friend or a guidance counselor on your campus can be really helpful. Even speaking with a priest can offer a nonjudgmental space, regardless of whether or not you agree with their teachings. And hey, writing your thoughts down in a journal works

chesca's avatar chesca 4 hours ago

Who knows? You’ll finally get the help you need!! or You might stumble across a friend who eventually betrays you, a counselor who claims it’s all in your head, or a priest who suggests you need an exorcist. And notebooks filled with evidence of your misery. But the good news is, you’ll get that emotional release and gain different perspectives. You can just filter out their nonsense & take what resonates.

chesca's avatar chesca 3 hours ago

At least you’ll be doing some great self-reflecting!! Things will get better, i promise!!!

chesca's avatar chesca 3 hours ago

And please ignore a random clown commenting six times on your post, you might ruin your life.

new blog (and if you recognize some of it nuh-uh you don't i deleted that draft/page for a reason)
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i was just fucking talking about the four humors https://uquiz.com/quiz/mTVid8/four-humors-omegaverse-type
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benny1548132's avatar benny1548132 5 days ago

they told me i was a melancholic omega. i disagree solely because they called me the top of the food chain and said i could be fixed

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underwhite's avatar underwhite 5 days ago

I don't know if a phlegmatic beta is bad or not but I got dat

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icandoanything's avatar icandoanything 5 days ago

Chloric Beta

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chesca's avatar chesca 5 days ago

whats difference in omegaverse like is alpha worse n omega less apparent?

benny1548132's avatar benny1548132 4 days ago

i have no idea. despite being a dog/wolf guy i dunno shit about the alpha/omega-verse

i am literally just generally cool with everyone. i feel that that is true. and then my heart stops when i witness cringe lib behavior and i have to manually force a restart on my self otherwise i start spiraling because god i'm gonna die alone and a virgin
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benny1548132's avatar benny1548132 1 week ago

that is the funny, horny, unserious version of what happens. (where is a principled faggot to find another principled faggot?) what actually happens is i get so overwhelmed by the casual cruelty & disengenousness of nearly every single person around me that it can make me break down...(where is a human being to find another human being?) (is love dead?) please fuck me

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benny1548132's avatar benny1548132 1 week ago

or please fucking kill me

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i love my website. not because it's good or anything but because it's a safe place (relatively, i know) (but it's the only place i can even pretend is safe) for me to express myself and meet people as myself without needing to mask who i am. i love this stupid little website. i love you guys. i love that some of you seem to like me. some of you have emailed me. i don't even know why. i don't think i deserve it
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new blog + there was a poll there, too. i deleted it after it got all the results it was gonna get, but i screenshotted the results, so that i can remember & look back on how you fucking crazies validated me. thank you to everyone who did
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new photo
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problem: i burnt a CD using Verbatim CDs and some program that came with the drive i got. my computer can't read all the data for the titles/artists and stuff but it will play the music. my CD player won't play the music. any fixes? i forgot the name of the program after deleting it because it wasn't working but my CD player is a Jensen made in 2023
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onlytrichromatic's avatar onlytrichromatic 1 week ago

I have tips!!! Take em or leave em. 1. Don't bother with the other program just use windows media player (the old one not the new one). 2. The metadata often doesn't work so tbh don't worry about it as long as the music plays. 3. As for the CD player not player, what format are you burning in? Sometimes the burn speed can fuck it up too if its too fast

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benny1548132's avatar benny1548132 1 week ago

how do i slow down the burn speed?

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onlytrichromatic's avatar onlytrichromatic 1 week ago

at least in WMP, it should be in burn settings. its to the right of the little burning menu column thing

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benny1548132's avatar benny1548132 1 week ago

i changed to WMP and slowed the burn speed to its slowest, and it's still not playing! i am so so sad about this

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getting real into the four humors tonight. yes the medical stuff was largely bullshit but i think the personality/seasonal/life cycle stuff was close to...something. something interesting and helpful for unintended reasons if not intended reasons. what humor do you think you are? i think i'm phlegmatic, at least right now
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benny1548132's avatar benny1548132 1 week ago

i thought sanguine at first, but i changed it to phlegmatic; i am friendly, but not very happy

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wraithcastle's avatar wraithcastle 1 week ago

mainly phlegmatic as well but also a little bit choleric

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chesca's avatar chesca 1 week ago

i’m forever a sanguine :p

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new blog, again
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badgraph1csghost's avatar badgraph1csghost 2 weeks ago

"you're not being abused, you're not losing your agency", they said as they began to abusively take away your agency.

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