a week and a half and the holidays are over. i just hafta make it a week and a half
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i'm a dick who deserves dicky behavior
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benny1548132
1 week ago
yeah but. this isn't a thought i had unprovoked, this is something my mother said to me last night
i don't know how many of you even know this page exists but i updated it to fix grammar https://benny1548132.nekoweb.org/a-graveyard.html
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benny1548132
1 week ago
yeah, dude, it mattered. but so does putting one foot in front of the other. i just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other
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asterion
1 week ago
I understand the sentiment. The systematic creation of Unicursal Mazes can be frustrating due to its pace but slow and steady progress always yields results in the end.
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i really miss my most insane friends. the group of people i had a few months ago who were all disabled & kinky & weird & fun. i boycotted / am boycotting Discord, sure, but i offered up Matrix, Signal, or just texting me since many of them had my number, and none of them followed up. i think about those people a lot. they were great
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benny1548132
2 weeks ago
well, except for that last part. but i would get incredible memes and posts about their plushies and their hobbies and useful information about medication and methods for recovery, anti-psych stuff, too, and we'd play Ponytown and different drawing games together. we also watched Nosferatu together
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benny1548132
2 weeks ago
too bad a few revealed themselves to be Zionists, and the rest were / are...apparently glued to Discord so strongly it's comparable to a human fly trap
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i also added a status 'widget' to my website, but it's something i made, so it's not connected to status.cafe
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the redirection script has been added
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benny1548132
3 weeks ago
well. i'm kind of not. i'm changing hosts, yeah, but i'll still post on here and stuff
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i'm moving to nekoweb for my host because they don't allow AI/data scrapers, but i'm going to use a redirection script to take you there from my neocities (thank you barndoors) so we can all pretend i still have a reason to be active here. because i will be. i will be here
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benny1548132
3 weeks ago
because of K*le Dr*ke's stance on AI vs Nekoweb's (he allows AI & data scraping, they don't), and also because i'm still thinking about divinicide -- plus a few secret, subjective personal reasons
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benny1548132
3 weeks ago
no, i'm talking about a while ago, when they got temporarily taken down and had to switch hosts because they were mass-reported and K*le just went along with it
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I REMEMBERED SOMETHING IMPORTANT TONIGHT!!!
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benny1548132
3 weeks ago
i am a sadomasochist whose into some fucked up shit. pain doesn't scare me anymore. BECAUSE I REMEMBERED IT TURNS ME ON. AND I WILL WRITE ABOUT THIS TOMORROW
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benny1548132
3 weeks ago
...i did try to write about that yesterday but it was really hard with what felt like my mother breathing down my neck
okay so christmas morning happened and i got some stuff i didn't want and some stuff i did (because i directly asked for it, and felt guilty) and then i felt sick and had to shit a bunch and then i spent an hour working on an issue with my CD player and now somehow the day is over
how the fuck is it already basically dinner time. fuckkkkk