i'm still alive & will continue to live. something maybe-good happened for once! i'm just starting to regret even my small amount of...not even 'fame,' but 'being known.' i don't know if i like it. i regret that i was never allowed, never allowed myself, to be average, non-special. as a teenager, i wrote...somewhere else, mainly for my family. now, i write for myself, i have for years, but there's still that feeling
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![olly place :] avatar](/site_screenshots/33/48/ollyjunkyard/index.html.50x50.webp)
that i'm not actually connecting with anyone, i'm just sort of being watched....i want to tear the things that make me knowable, even across platforms, apart like a rabid dog....i have an idea. i need a break. i might come back later, but most of you won't know.
i need to bury myself, in a maybe-good way. i realized not too long ago that there's a possibility that someone could've followed me from an old Inst*gram to the last account i was active on before i deleted it to Spacehey to here. that scares me. next time i resurface, if i do, i won't want to be so easy to recognize, and i won't announce it, i'll email or message people personally.
for a good chunk of you, this really is goodbye. i'm not sorry (i kinda am, but). this is something i feel i have to do.