>koilwood I don't know what "Christianity" means in your mind, but in my mind it is the mixture of 1. Hagia Sophia 2. St. Catherine monastry 3. Jerusalem. But in general I usually mean Christianity as a Hellenistic philosophy (The New Testament is written in Koine Greek), and in fact I'm really nothing against Christianity in that sense.
Reading those like Simone Weil, Tolstoy and other "outsider Christians" feels much more in line with a revolutionary Christianity, truly linking itself to the sacred heart of Christ. I hope I am not projecting my own perspectives here, I wished to share my thoughts with you as someone who has a somewhat similar view regarding the allure of the religion despite the ultimate rejection of it - koil (2)