I had a really similar experience with the one and only girl I ever dated, which was near the end of high school. Historically, i'd only ever been with or been interested in men, but I was super lonely and unconsciously wanted a way to explore feminity because of trans reasons. She was incredibly abusive, and it was a nightmare that scared me off of relationships all together for a while, but then I met my current-

-boyfriend, and nearly 7 years later things are great!! I am also demi, and I despite being primarily sexually and romantically attracted to men, I am also by default terrified of men, so all of that makes me have a lot of complicated feelings about love and attachment as well, and I definitely think I am coming out of this whole thing luckier than most, since I happened to meet someone at just the right time