Neocities

swiftred updated SwiftRed's Site

1 month ago

blog/microblog.html

noticing.html

collections/p3r-screencaps.html

index2.html

12 likes

ocrevol 1 month ago

ok this is gonna seem like it's in response to this journal but it's not it's just a synchronicity I've been thinking about it all day. But I wanted to tell u that ur recent posts inspired me to start writing (and SHARING) fanfic again for the first time in I'm pretty sure more than a decade and I want to say THANK U for that :)))

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ocrevol 1 month ago

also its genuinely wild to me how often I'll be having vague thoughts that I can't be bothered to sit down and externalise in a coherent manner and then within a day or so you'll drop a post that is those same thoughts. Mind blown on a weekly basis fr

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ocrevol 1 month ago

my impression of you is that you are a very thoughtful/interesting/sincere/kind person + find your ability to rationally self-analyze very impressive

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swiftred 1 month ago

re: fanfiction, YAYYY!! I'm SO happy to hear that 😊 Talk about synchronicity, I only just started posting after a 9-10yr writing-block and once I got past the fear of starting, it's been such a gift. I hope the writing and sharing proves a good experience for you too. Thank you lots for telling me that.

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swiftred 1 month ago

And to be fair, I did read your entry yesterday where you discuss being percieved, but it didn't feel prudent to tag it. Thank you, too, for sharing your impression of me. I'm highly, highly grateful and appreciative :,3 thank you!! Forever plagued with the introspection bug, and I'm glad what I barf out is coherent 😁💜

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miela583 1 month ago

I love your blog; here, at least, you seem very thoughtful and sincere, and not afraid to talk about some very personal stuff. Plus, your "noticing" page is truly lovely.

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sneekrealm 1 month ago

relatedly: occasionally when i spot someone saying something sweet about me on disc or whatnot i'll screenshot and save that ... something heartwarming about that type stuff

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sneekrealm 1 month ago

but also sometimes i lowkey forget in general my existence Actually Impacts people in whatever way so even positive reminders of it feel a little humbling (heartwarmingly) - but i guess this might also make it easier for me to brush off some ppl's negative views about Me Existing for what its worth? if that makes sense......

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swiftred 1 month ago

@miela583 this means more than you know, thank you :,)

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swiftred 1 month ago

@sneekrealm it absolutely makes sense, yes. I’ve been meaning to sort of archive the kind comments I’ve received here and try to remember to look at them and just let it sink in. I also often feel I don't make an impact even despite evidence otherwise, and for me, I sorta suffer from a lack of ‘Existence permanence,’ like, I assume I disappear from people’s minds

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badgraph1csghost 1 month ago

i love your blog posts and your noticing page. they always have something new for me to think about that i never would have come up with myself. your noticing page has made me more aware of my own surroundings (i "notice" more now). i don't always reply because my brain can't usually give me the right words, but i think about you and your site often.

3 likes

niicespiice 1 month ago

in terms of the "not knowing how to communicate to someone in a normal way" my opinion is like. why does it matter to you if it's the normal way or not (also i swear i tried to post this before but it got deleted, or maybe my wifi just died idk)

ocrevol 1 month ago

I read "normal" in this context as "socially acceptable + therefore unlikely to be misread and accidentally offend/repulse"

1 like

swiftred 1 month ago

I’m struggling to pinpoint what you’re referring to specifically @niicespiice, but yes, what @ocrevol said, like, fuck being normal but also, I still worry about social alienation and repulsion because I am really affected by that. It’s hard to fully unmask, though I continue to try.

2 likes

pubcutz updated Pubbie's Doghouse!

1 month ago

dolls.html

experiencing-gender.html

graphics.html

Pubbie's Doghouse!

about.html

pubcutz blamensir

1 month ago

This is by far one of the most gorgeous sites I've seen on here! /gen

1 like

blamensir 1 month ago

hey thank you so much!! that is so nice <3<3

pluto22 updated pluto22

1 month ago

10 likes

sabrin updated ☆⌒(>。<)

1 month ago

06-webmaster.html

05-buttons.html

11 likes

yaoiwarrior 1 month ago

just noticed my button there omg ty for adding me !! ^_^)<3

2 likes

sabrin 1 month ago

of course yaoiwarrior u always have a home in my button wall

net-of-calypso updated .NET of Calypso

1 month ago

.NET of Calypso

writing.html

1 like

emmadaues updated Emma Daues

1 month ago

past.html

thegardenofmadeline

1 month ago

happy arbor day!!! my favorite holiday of the year 🌳🌲🌴🌱🎋🍃💚

15 likes

moonpr1sm updated MOONPR1SM.com

1 month ago

pixelart/log.html

7 likes

swiftred updated SwiftRed's Site

1 month ago

blog/microblog.html

noticing.html

collections/p3r-screencaps.html

index2.html

11 likes

niicespiice 1 month ago

very relatable about the "i COULD rest but i don't want to" thing. like people say stuff like "take a break when you want." i hate that, they don't understand at all. because if i let myself at the very least have excuses like that, i'll never do anything. i'd rather work until i'm drained and forcibly must rest, that's probably the best option

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swiftred 1 month ago

Lol, yes same 😭😭. I also hate when people tell me to take a break. If I took a break whenever I was tired, it’d be 90% breaks 😐

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niicespiice 1 month ago

i think it's a very "not mentally ill" take to have? because they don't understand mentally ill people they assume we're exactly like them, even though our tolerance is FAR FAR lower. so because of that they go "take a break when you want" and it's like. yeah. i do that and i get called "lazy" or "wasting my life" so what do you guys want 😭

2 likes

maxcrunch

1 month ago

"I can't, I have allergies" should be a reasonable way to decline plans and people should just accept it and not try to get you to come out anyway

4 likes

maxcrunch 1 month ago

like I'll be totally miserable the entire time. you want that for me? are we even friends 😂🥺

2 likes

adornesibley updated The Corners Within

1 month ago

ArtPages/ZINE.html

1 like

pluto22 updated pluto22

1 month ago

7 likes

turd 1 month ago

I hope you enjoy lapvona! it’s such a bizarre story, but I could not stop thinking about it when I read it…

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pluto22 1 month ago

thank you!! i’m breezing through it already ^^

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sabrin updated ☆⌒(>。<)

1 month ago

☆⌒(>。<)

11 likes

pubcutz updated Pubbie's Doghouse!

1 month ago

shrines.html

dollhouse-entrance.html

swiftred ocrevol

1 month ago

Hi, do you mind if I screenshot that quote you left under my page update and stick it in my post? Or, do you remember where you read it from?

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ocrevol 1 month ago

I don't mind if you screenshot, I do remember where I saw it but would take some digging to find the actual post

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swiftred updated SwiftRed's Site

1 month ago

noticing.html

blog/microblog.html

collections/p3r-screencaps.html

index2.html

9 likes

swiftred 1 month ago

A new blogpost from He Who Internalizes Everything

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ocrevol 1 month ago

(continuing the thread here) tbh I'm probably being a lil too mean re: Pete Walker I think he's a good guy with some good advice but the book has got some triggering elements for sure + yeah very therapy focused, which has not er been very helpful for me anecdotally either

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swiftred 1 month ago

Ah, understood! And thank you for commenting on this, by the way :) I've been delighted, and your voice is very much valued

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mustikas 1 month ago

resonates with me soooo muchhhhh. i often feel "too explicit" for the most of online spaces. like there's a "bourdary" of negativity i can talk about. i mean, on personal pages and accounts. even if i put tw, i still feel...... strange and anxious. THANK YOU for writing this

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niicespiice 1 month ago

based and dissilution-of-mental-illness-pilled (?). but 43 is so me

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swiftred 1 month ago

@mustikas I write this as much as a persuasion to myself as well. I still get freaked out sharing, feeling like I’m not allowed to be “too” mentally ill in a public space (online) even though it is my personal website, mirroring what you said.

3 likes

adornesibley sunnysvideo

1 month ago

Adore the design of your website~! Very nostalgic and so lovely seeing such an old-school idea brought to life. Of course, from the video store era, the concept of purchasing media online would've been pretty wild, but you get it. XD

4 likes