Neocities allows anyone to create a free web site to express themselves. Want to create your own awesome site? Join us!
caesthoffe
1 year ago
ive never heard of that story, but holy fuck your imagery is soooo vivid i might as well have been there. love the vocabuulary you used :0
manyface
1 year ago
@caesthoffe thank you so much!! there are a lot of variants of the story, i was surprised to see just how many there are when i was refreshing myself on the premise. i think i know the story from a soviet cartoon?
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
really love how compact and punchy this poem is - completely agree with caesthoffe that the imagery is stunning!
manyface
1 year ago
@ryo thank you!!! it was the sort of thing that came to me as i was trying to sleep and i had to get up to write it down, haha!
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
I really appreciate the honesty and self-awareness of this piece, I especially like how you called back to your earlier poems. I love the imagery of the porch in the middle!
owlroost
1 year ago
Something I've been doing with Muse pieces in general is callbacks! Usually via metaphors echoing forwards. I find it fun and it inspires me to find ways to connect them.
manyface
1 year ago
this is really beautiful!!! i loved reading it! thank you so much for sharing, the imagery was fantastic and dazzling!
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
there is a lot of honesty in this piece that is very well-balanced with a certain artistic flair. I really like the format of the Shakespearean sonnet and the rhyme scheme, I think it adds to the musicality of the piece quite well!
caesthoffe
1 year ago
incredibly relatable, love your use of Icarion as a word. also, don't know if you did this on purpose but "i pray everyday for my body to align with the plans i fashion in my mind" is very tran/non-binary coded, which i loved.
owlroost
1 year ago
Sometimes you read the first line of a poem and know it'll be good. This is one of those poems. The rest followed through, but that first line is going to stick with me.
manyface
1 year ago
this was wonderful and relatable... i loved the rhyme scheme and the overall sentiment. i like that it seemed to be positive at the end, there is hope! remember to take care of yourself.
angelogistics
1 year ago
ohhh maybe i just love how a blank website page feels like a cathedral but this hit so hard & so well ... rlly lovely imagery ! !
melxncholyman
1 year ago
@angelogistics there is something holy to be found in enclosed emptiness… thank you for the praise <3
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
what a beautiful and poignant poem - seconding that the imagery is stunning, you incapsulated so much history, grief and hope in a few words. thank you for sharing your artistry with us!
owlroost
1 year ago
The fractal horses of all things really connected with me. Gorgeous visuals, and it feels rooted somehow in a way that a lot of poetry doesn't.
melxncholyman
1 year ago
@owlroost thank you, i had fun imagining an infinite scale of little horses heheh
manyface
1 year ago
this was really awesome - everybody who said that the imagery is amazing is absolutely correct. an amazing piece. thank you for sharing!
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
absolutely love the format! very effective choice to have no punctuation, it makes the abundant imagery all the more potent!
manyface
1 year ago
thank you so much ryo!!! i was worried it would take away a lot of the clarity (not a bad thing in itself) but that that would compromise the impact. i'm glad it didn't!
manyface
1 year ago
this was so beautiful, i genuinely feel a bit tearful now! i'm really glad to have read this! thank you for sharing!
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
this is such a well-crafted and evocative piece of writing. the last two lines especially are so powerful!
shibardnek
1 year ago
i really liked this one! it really highlights just how panicked one's anxious thoughts can become, and it really nailed it on the head with how quickly it tends to escalate too. i especially like the touch of making it a run-on.
asters-asterisms
1 year ago
i love the rambling style of this!! i feel like it helps add to the emotion of the piece mwah
manyface
1 year ago
i like this a lot!! it's very cool and the run on structure is excellent. great work as always, ryo!
melxncholyman
1 year ago
really liked the escalation of scale and how you cheekily tied it back to the beginning ^^
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
I really like how you focussed on not only the graduality of distress but that of hope, as well. I appreciate how it ends on a note of self-forgiveness, the whole thing put a smile on my face. the format is also very interesting!
shibardnek
1 year ago
thank you! when writing it i was thinking of a computer terminal, and the straightforwardness of prompt fills.
manyface
1 year ago
this was really nice to read, i'm glad there was hope as well as despair and that it all felt like a process with the best intentions of the character/voice in mind, by the end of it!
manyface
1 year ago
this is so amazing... i really loved reading through it, it's beautiful and the repetition is so powerful and poignant. so proud of you for sharing this, thank you.
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
what a beautiful and powerful lament. I love how you went down each line one at a time and how terribly human it all is. thank you for your art!
art music videogames programming anime games food personal writing cats blog movies books gaming fashion photography comics design animation horror game drawing coding arte manga portfolio furry reading ocs poetry cute technology musica kpop history education animals film programacion fun literature roblox sports philosophy html nature science programing tech videogame travel politics minecraft web gamedev retro school life videojuegos youtube cartoons computers love pokemon 2000s blogging diary video illustration fantasy pink dogs random comic idk gardening internet memes videos oc linux ai cooking y2k queer test kawaii nostalgia webcomic tv arg fandom journal aesthetic emo business worldbuilding news fanfiction cars crafts vocaloid media learning health films silly stuff space math fiction 90s cutecore website stories culture etc arts scifi cat painting football journaling graphics css baking homestuck punk marketing goth software 3d crochet lgbt commissions sanrio cinema pixelart sport archive psychology artist digitalart dance diy program me shows series comida dnd makeup characters trans funny religion metal lgbtq graphicdesign creativity lifestyle editing cool fanart entertainment aboutme indie clothes streaming rpg friends sonic development code scene javascript story plants webcomics roleplay guitar comedy languages rock everything weird electronics zines webcore ttrpg sewing study community aesthetics hacking gay reviews engineering cyberpunk beauty webdesign educacion basketball fnaf computer it originalcharacters informatica soccer weirdcore vintage social oldweb vtuber spirituality photos discord pets deltarune blogs project architecture vaporwave shop storytelling movie flowers clothing information coffee thoughts biology about language hobbies undertale shopping japan nintendo testing mlp cosplay magic lore book html5 creative fitness digital crypto radio ttrpgs money fandoms experimental nothing blinkies chat physics alternative info astronomy websites tecnologia cybersecurity singing site juegos japanese birds bugs furries witchcraft wip autism occult anything band other research finance crafting tvshows theatre resume sleep futbol television profile projects sleeping moda personalwebsite dolls gamedevelopment lain events work vr system knitting vampires linguistics genshin interests apps all photo yaoi fish gatos dreams transgender splatoon ghchs python webdevelopment astrology free meme rap carrd collecting wiki aliens puzzle mentalhealth fanfic toys romance poems developer app windows animations dancing coquette pixels drawings visualnovels frutigeraero cartoon fortnite english family bio robots stamps animes dog tarot touhou gothic deportes marvel intro a medicine skateboarding pizza essays gym security humor gamedesign osc modding online links interactive mathematics hiking gyaru adventure teaching characterdesign fnf data journalism mystery dragons chess no gallery roleplaying creepypasta hobby lol fansite zine puzzles rp popculture objectshows jfashion birthday zonelets gifs pixel yuri resources mythology twitch musicals vkei meow myself home dreamcore ocean law tf2 breakcore blender ffxiv traveling novels audio introduction piano jogos scenecore libros peliculas recipes hiphop noise privacy death bfdi dark graphic stars progamming pjsk style podcast danganronpa rpgs twine swag indiegames studying plushies ecommerce robotics communism shrine socialmedia hellokitty paranormal production android pictures activism car wrestling spanish omori awesome running none foods pinterest christianity amor utau jewelry bunnies lesbian craft boardgames electronic things educational lolita anarchism cine vent student volleyball filmmaking deporte travelling girls god songs misc unblocked scratch feminism grunge geography designing 3dmodeling store mario sharks maths dev outdoors webdev clowns bitcoin realestate old blue 80s computing collage doom jpop bl dinosaurs brasil transformers pc environment vtubers help college tools images stickers starwars flash jazz fotografia acting tumblr jesus java novel trains cafe bts creepy construction services chemistry yoga event alt baseball computerscience epic programar tea translation mcr plurality escuela warriorcats lego theater cyber pastel args collection persona retrogaming manhwa southpark multimedia videoediting therian whatever horses yes pop tcc programas cozy vlog programmer weed historia js supernatural podcasts gamer monsters trading skating tabletop medical truecrime weather techno whimsy forum f1 draw tiktok miku literatura videography hardware people dc girly shoes otherkin insects drama dj bsd estudiante green cricket economics skincare homepage angels opensource socialism salud enstars freedom lgbtqia ecology restaurant modeling maps learn hi kandi search sound swimming kirby ropa surrealism turismo animales ideas nerd tattoos digitalmarketing vhs curso animanga kidcore trinkets artwork text world bible petz cleaning filmes kdrama edm tourism chatting closedspecies halloween analysis conspiracy cultura author service healthcare depression hockey fishing 3dprinting shitposting sociology furniture hardcore racing videogaming academia surreal brazil cv did drugs egl homework sketching bands women scary sculpture colors friendship blockchain rats frogs tennis livros knowledge hair eating mobile plural wedding chill programa visualnovel general thrifting artes networking analog library aviation sciencefiction christian academic ambient creation soft gacha writting practice cryptocurrency alterhuman society genshinimpact quotes informacion tutorials server purple programacao anarchy foss university rpgmaker graffiti species mods truth sites cryptids estudio mangas wellness water glitch ux retrogames anthropology ghosts medieval batman onepiece erotica company webseries sustainability review programs cycling bot nails forsaken jjba harrypotter writer miriadax magazine conlang garden schoolproject theology esoteric 3dart talking css3 tattoo otaku character yapping neocities class rants archives google startrek live guns superheroes noticias theory bikes kids building unblockedgames ceramics crocheting instagram camping notes twitter crime future illustrations cards cs vampire church disney animal performance revival shitpost os french analoghorror play rhythmgames blood shrines house advertising lostmedia decor meditation dating spiderman idols shoegaze industrial training handmade musicproduction chaos articles kdramas evangelion creating viajes liminal originalcharacter synthesizers concerts apple youtuber ultrakill selfship interactivefiction voiceacting frontend terror content sims vlogs scrapbooking folklore disability seals party desing new communication crk jobs animalcrossing embroidery prompts satire visualkei calculator mylittlepony vida doodles neopets vinyl entretenimiento designer quiz poesia exercise datascience finalfantasy silliness repair sanat tareas zelda spooky magick joke vrchat rainbow tecnology shifting creatures paganism rambling halflife facts sweets marxism tarea something geek islam cult developing black commission hack daily anthro spiritual animating vtubing download cheese vegan kink military jokes adhd programmation scp overwatch beach musics hotel mtg miscellaneous creativewriting underground photoshop bass webring ranfren zombies ia desarrollo songwriting club happy arcane tic fanfics shoujo private mha conlangs christmas more ar self trabajo agriculture php tamagotchi projectsekai productivity doctorwho motorcycles studies dandysworld glitter secret todo gender hetalia archival yugioh tips mushrooms oldroblox beginner oldinternet pet mecha edits map tokipona drinks musician jeux programm randomstuff 1 cottagecore gossip tokusatsu rave dungeonsanddragons ui stem hosting collections vibes ciencia generator yumeship red words lofi videgames
this is a wonderful poem and i can feel your expression of pride through the words and images! i especially like that third stanza! :)
it's always a very lovely experience to see other people expressing pride in their own way, and I think you did so very effectively with your imagery. there is this sort of soft joy about it that I really like, almost like gentle breeze through an open window - good work!