i really love your use of repetition !! and your writing voice has so much weight behind it it made reading this really interesting (i was gonna say enjoyable but given the subject i don't think it would've come out right :'))
I posted an old piece - I hope that's okay! I love this prompt so much. I have like 6 others I could have posted and now I'm feeling nostalgic for fiction (I've been writing non-fiction a lot lately). Going through your own old writing is so inspiring! https://maxcrunch.neocities.org/muse/posts/2011-06-22-Wretched
thanks for letting me know !!