Neocities

axayacatl

11 months ago

i'm obsessed with emails people send me about their supernatural experiences

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krystalspalace 11 months ago

omg bet its email time

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axayacatl

11 months ago

i have bleached glitter eyebrows now i love them

9 likes

krystalspalace 11 months ago

HELL YEAH!!!!!

axayacatl

11 months ago

day 2 of being filled with joy

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axayacatl 11 months ago

i am going to bleach my eyebrows

3 likes

axayacatl

11 months ago

i am filled w joy

8 likes

axayacatl

11 months ago

sorry autistic people no april fools joke i couldnt think of one

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

diary/2025/033125.html

axayacatl

diary/2025/033025.html

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axayacatl 11 months ago

me bc i have no soul ---> x_X

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

"I have met people who claimed to be satanists, who claimed to be involved in black magick, who claimed that they not only knew a lot about it...but as I said, I've certainly been involved, and I warn all of you, never, never, never. You will not only lose your mind, you will lose your soul."

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

In that quote, he mentions "satanism" and "black magick" specifically, not simply things which are "occult". I think many get involved in "satanism"/"black magick" without really understanding what all that means; they think that they are simply rebelling against an unjust "god", a corrupt and hypocritical "church", etc.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

However, at its root is pride. Whatever "pleasure" or "power" that can be derived from selfish hedonism is not only temporary, it comes at an incredibly high cost to both oneself and everyone else. To impose one's will through manipulation and/or violence *does* eventually lead to insanity...

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

...and a loss of the qualities that make one human (i.e.: compassion, consideration, and so on). Hence, tyrants are said to be "mad with power" and have "dark triad" characteristics. The promise to be able to "rule in hell" is one's total enslavement under the illusion of "complete freedom".

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

People do not know what they are worshipping or why, and therefore, are easily misled to their own destruction. The labels matter little. What matters most is if one sincerely turns away from harming themselves and others, for in doing so, they turn towards Life.

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axayacatl 11 months ago

i don't really have an issue with hedonism i think we kind of obscure it when pleasure motivates all desire. i think it's important to mention i don't worship entities, it's a different experience for me. it sounds strange but i don't mind this outcome or this feeling, i am free in the sense i see past various illusions that held me in dangerous cycles, but i'm still not a person of right hand idealogy.

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axayacatl 11 months ago

i truly think there is no essentially "right" way to live. i am someone who is enamored with chaos in a paradoxically peaceful way. i could also be described as someone "morally grey" even though what is black and white is subjective to place and time. i've written about who satan is to me, and how i'm not a satanist, but i know satanists who have different experiences with him.

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axayacatl 11 months ago

all that to say is my black magic experience and relationship with my darker characteristics may be a little different than yours. i still respect your perspective, but i think it's important to note not everyone goes into dark arts for the intention of harm but for a better understanding of a universal darkness that may be too heavy for most to handle

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axayacatl 11 months ago

with the end goal of the understanding being able to come to terms and live peacefully alongside one's shadows instead of eradicating them completely

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Interesting! I agree that distinguishing between "right" and "wrong" is not a static process nor a simple matter of "black and white". [An aside: I have found some amusement in the symbolism of a "left-hand" and a "right-hand" path as I am ambidextrous. I feel similarly about the notion of a "political compass".] Broad labels often lack important nuance and degrade into assumptions.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

For example, to blame someone and thereby make them into a "scapegoat" is both a repression of one's own shadow and a projection of it upon another. To then say that they "deserve punishment" and that oneself is "worthy of reward" is the greatest of ironies. Each contributes *something* to every situation, even by deciding not to engage, for choosing to act in a particular way is to become open to receiving the same.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Integration of our own shadow brings humility because we realize that we have weaknesses, have made mistakes, and so on. Likewise, compassion leads to ever greater amounts of inclusivity as we recognize ourselves in others. But there are also hard limits when it comes to people's agency. Ultimately, we can only be self-responsible and live by example. Yet, genuinely trying to add to another's quality of life in...

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

...constructive ways is to be enriched ourselves. Indeed, to truly face the shadow of the collective unconscious can be overwhelming sometimes. If we do it enough, we will either be destroyed by it ("martyrdom") or learn healthy boundaries from a fuller awareness of the impacts that our decisions can have on one another. So, while perceptions are relative, there are underlying moral absolutes that are inescapable.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

However, they cannot be reduced to a set of rules that can be blindly followed, nor can they be imposed upon others. "Karma" is "non-linear"; motivations and context are also important considerations. Likewise, what a person finds "pleasurable" can be a matter of habit rather than a full understanding of consequence, and not necessarily an indicator of what "should" or "should not" be done. A couple of examples:

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

...I talk too much. 😂 The comment cap ended it on a cliffhanger. Maybe that is a sign to stop there...Anyhoo, thank you for sharing!

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axayacatl

11 months ago

i made a webpage that lets you use your monitor as a lightbox for drawing. you can check it out xxxtras > lightbox ! im in the middle of making it cuter as i post this lol

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axayacatl

11 months ago

i b fucking with bananas

4 likes

dragontalez 11 months ago

yo bananas are the shit

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

tarot.html

lightbox.html

diary/2025/033025.html

diary/2025/032825.html

axayacatl

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

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axayacatl

diary/2025/032725.html

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axayacatl 11 months ago

sobriety and self forgiveness

5 likes

axayacatl

11 months ago

my least favorite take in the arts is criticizing a work for being "edgy shock factor with no substance" imagine going up to a drawing of a smiling flower and saying "mindless toxic positivity dribble". this has always bothered me its so hypocritical

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axayacatl 11 months ago

how are people even defining substance? are things that do not illicit positive feelings void of substance? i feel that motivates the arts to be a form of consumption instead of experience

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

*hides doodle of smiling flowers on art page*...I joke, but the implied quaternary there is interesting: 1. All shock, no substance 2. Toxic positive, no substance 3. Tragic, but meaningful 4. Hopeful, but deep...Rarely is anything so rigidly defined though. 1 and 3 can overlap, 2 and 4 can overlap, and opinions differ depending on who you ask. Lol

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

And therein lies the distinction: Opinions often differ from experience. A piece could be deeply meaningful to the "artist", but mean absolutely nothing to a "critic", or maybe even elicit a repulsion in them. One's feelings about a piece can also change as they hear an "artist" explain their work, or when they learn more about the "artist" themselves.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

All personal perceptions and preferences, especially in someting as interpretive as "art". The nuances make things interesting don't they? :D

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axayacatl 11 months ago

it does and i think about a lot how the audience is part of the experience of art in the micro and macro even the internet as the audience changes how we interpret a piece. i'd go as far to say other external elements including price change interpretation. i think there is something to be said about embracing all elements of the experience outside of black and white, and even accepting (cont.)

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axayacatl 11 months ago

our morals and feelings of disgust and misery as part of this "substance" that is sought after. art is powerful because it summons and invokes things. i think people tend to rob themselves of the "substance" they seek by seeing themselves as separate from it

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Indeed. We could say the same about the relationship between judgment and compassion in general. Condemnation makes one indifferent to another's suffering and simultaneously becomes a repression of one's own.

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axayacatl

11 months ago

sometimes i post sketches on bluesky that i don't post here either right away or at all, my blsky domain is the same as my neocities if youre interested ⛧_< link is also in my about page

4 likes

axayacatl

11 months ago

if ur interested in a 20 dollar character sketch commission hmu through my email ! need the $ so i can get my guitar out of the shop for neck repairs

4 likes

axayacatl 11 months ago

my zine "the resin" is also still available on itch.io for 5 smeckles

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

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diary/2025/032425.html

axayacatl

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axayacatl 11 months ago

my self care routines

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Careful reflection upon virtue brings Self-awareness, and each moment presents an opportunity to act from that constructiveness. Thus, life itself becomes a meditation...heh, I sound like a fortune cookie.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Personally, "a fool focuses on what he lacks, while the wise accomplish much with little," is a lesson that I continue to learn. I do not want to squander or take for granted even the seemingly smallest of treasures, like time.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

...Anyhoo, thank you for sharing your thoughts and routines! Helpful stuff.

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axayacatl 11 months ago

@letslearntogether i agree on your take! i think a reflective life is the core of mindfulness. i think it's good to fully saturate yourself in the present by falling into the mind and body, meditation helps me open up neural pathways that make that easier on a day to day

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axayacatl mental-labour

11 months ago

can u recommend me a book to read tht u think i'd enjoy

1 like