Neocities

axayacatl mental-labour

11 months ago

can u recommend me a book to read tht u think i'd enjoy

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mental-labour 10 months ago

i'd have to see what books you like first lol

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axayacatl 10 months ago

i want to read something that feels like i am living in a medieval plague either literally or esoterically

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mental-labour 10 months ago

Hard to Be a God but you might actually like the film more

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sleepydawgs 10 months ago

@mental-labour that movie is insane

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letslearntogether 10 months ago

Haha! Mission accomplished. That is the most accurate recommendation I've ever seen.

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axayacatl

11 months ago

im rlly pleased with my progress in traditional art after a year it's making me want to keep going

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axayacatl

11 months ago

i am looking at you thru ur webcam. u look nice today. i've posted a new drawing

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axayacatl 11 months ago

+ took down the last one it was just too personal

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

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axayacatl

diary/2024/121424.html

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axayacatl

11 months ago

hehehehe hahaha haha!! teeheehee

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mental-labour 11 months ago

real

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labyrinth-limbo 11 months ago

heard

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axayacatl

11 months ago

blue period is my favorite ongoing manga rn it really pushes me to go against the odds

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

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axayacatl

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

On blog of the 23rd: Fantastic insight about apologizing in public! Any action that is performative, done simply to be seen, often seems to lack sincerity doesn't it.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Is it because, rather than true reconciliation, it seeks to inflate one's own ego through other's pity or praise? While intentions should not be assumed, they can often be felt, for intentions influence the quality of the actions extending from them.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

I strongly agree that forgiveness can be freeing for both the giver and receiver when they are genuine. However, I also think that it is important to be able to let go when one feels like they are "owed" an apology, to "close the loop" as you so eloquently put it.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

While I desire to give mercy for its own sake, I also do not want to be taken advantage of. Finding that balance has been tricky...and misplaced trust can literally be dangerous or deadly.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

On blog of the 24th: While much lies outside of our control, there is incredible power in every choice that we make. What is the vision that you have for your own life and what constructive steps are you taking to get there?

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Sometimes rejection can be a blessing in that it keeps us from situations where we will not be genuinely appreciated. Inversely, being lusted after is to be objectified, not actually cared for. Both situations feel like garbage.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

You are strong, discerning, aware...not to mention, your art is cool. Your miracle(s) will come. Be steadfast in those constructive ways.

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axayacatl 11 months ago

@letslearntogether thank u for ur feedback i can tell a lot of thought went into it. on being objectified the pressure cooker feeling it leaves in the air keeps me independent. it leaves me feeling thankful for my talents in a way i never have as there is this sudden need to constantly humanize myself for no reason other than my own sanity

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Not so much feedback as it is dialogue. I enjoy what you write and I try to show everyone care whenever I am aware enough to do so...Sis, you will never be anything less than human. Likewise, all human beings deserve dignity, so you have nothing to prove. To express gratitude for one's skills and to carefully hone them in order to help everyone in addition to oneself is always good though.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Also, you are already sane. We simply live within an insane society...But of course, I state this as a feral man-beast living out in the wilderness at the edge of the city. Society is filled with that "pressure cooker" feeling in various guises. I had to get away from it, even if it meant being homeless. Yet my love of humanity kept me engaged so that I might help to transform it in some small measure.

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axayacatl

11 months ago

i went on an apology tour and wrote about it in my latest diary entry, lmk what u think if u read it

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softdays 11 months ago

i found myself agreeing heavily with what you wrote!! and im proud of you too, it seems like such a scary thing! its given me a lot to think about!

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axayacatl 11 months ago

@softdays it is scary but uncertainty is just raw reality and all u can really do is try to find the fun in that

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axayacatl

11 months ago

been mastering the art of eggplant "bacon" will post up soon

5 likes

axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

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axayacatl

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axayacatl

11 months ago

every now and again i receive such a sincere email and it casts a buff on my outlook of life for a few days

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axayacatl

11 months ago

im in the midst of organizing all my diary files so some 2024 entries might have broken links but not for long

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

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axayacatl krystalspalace

11 months ago

⛤✶👁✶⛤ a blessing is on it's way 2 u ⛤✶👁✶⛤

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krystalspalace 11 months ago

very very much appreciated

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axayacatl

11 months ago

do u guys have any advice on how to conjure more energy? i feel like i have the potential to be a less lethargic person i just don't know how to tap into that in tangible ways other than coffee and breathwork

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goatcvlt 11 months ago

exercise and sleep, unfortunately.

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softdays 11 months ago

the only things that tend to work for me are eating meals-- keeping up my glucose and stuff 😭

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axayacatl 11 months ago

i thought i was eating enough uranium but i guess not

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axayacatl

11 months ago

existential FOMO

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

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axayacatl

11 months ago

judging people for a prison record without knowing their crime is dorky and is a form of normalized performative empathy in the sense everyone makes big talk about prison reform without wanting to acknowledge the pitfalls of society or give others the opportunity to change

10 likes

axayacatl 11 months ago

i started writing letters to people in jail so this has been on my mind a lot

8 likes