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I proclaim, the site exists, the site exists in a new, incomplete-complete raw form
thank you so much for posting this because i really needed the reminder. i'm taking a step back from some creative projects i have been working on for a while which means i have to actually start something new and i keep putting it off and trying to find "inspiration" first when i know i literally just need to start.
on minimalist sites and overhauling: although unintentional and definitely not always the case, minimalist aesthetics have slowly become synonymous with conservatism. i totally relate to the fear of being seen too. of course it's your site and you're free to do what you want with it, but imo your variety of writing pages and hobbies really give it character!
@limivars thank you so much! That means a lot. I think I know what you mean regarding minimalist aesthetics, and I’m not sure changing the site would even make me feel better lol. Just not sure how to resolve this pressure (tightness, stress, fear) of existing on the internet.
I don’t want to make my sight dimmer, but I guess sometimes I feel too loud and out there anyway, lol. I don’t know what to make of anything.
truly a lifelong lesson, learning to take up space in the world (i also wanna hide from the world at times - comes in ebb and flow really)
i understand completely about being left behind. occasionally i see someone i used to go to high school with around town, being a functional human being, while i'm just... doing whatever the hell it is i do. for that reason, i actually hate august.
you say you feel off path but i wonder in what way-- like if your life was "on path," what would that look like? (just a thought /srs, even though i often use that phrase as a joke) because i m yself often find myself thinking "this is wrong" without knowing what i think is right
@niicespiice I'm mostly alluding to the "path" that everyone is told is "right." be cishet, fall in line, do high school > college > career start > marriage > house > kids etc. which is not even the path I want, but that means my path is undefined. I'm just kind of wandering right now, and I think the wandering itself feels wrong, personally and societally
I understand this feeling completely honestly... as someone whos going to college and has career plans, it still feels like its not the "right path" . its compounded by physical and mental disability and just. life. i think it gets easier as you get older, maybe. My moms 47 and she seems much happier than she did even when she was 30, and she didnt pick the "right" path either. so maybe theres hope?
I manually duplicate every time :) I'm not even sure how I'd go about automating/it's not something I've even thought about
I relate a lot to your blog post, it's crazy how listlessness and longing for change can make us think the most extreme things are a good idea. Wrestling those dangerous thoughts into submission is so exhausting, too, but I'm inspired by how deeply you think about it all. I hope you feel better soon, and that some positive change finds its way into your life that helps you forget what this chapter felt like.
The background is the album cover for Phoebe Bridgers' album Punisher!! Thanks so much!
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This page is so cute !!!
@star-thorns thank you sm!!!