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Thanks! It's always good to get feedback and support! I've been somewhat stuck on a creative rut these past couple weeks, as well as attending to other things (like the upcoming xmas season). I've been thinking of doing more of those sculptures though. I am interested in so many creative mediums, but my life stresses cause a bit of mental block currently. Hopefully I'll get through that soon. Thanks again!
copying is essentially a very slow kind of reading. back when the literary language was often very different from the spoken language, comprehension wasn't some immediate thing that could be taken for granted. even the surface grammatical meaning of a sentence might not be obvious. struggling with all of that leads not just to the thoughts the author intended, but all sorts of other alternate possibilities
the same thing happens when i read mathematics (esp. research papers). for close readings, you treat the written proofs as a "cookbook recipe" for reproducing the argument in your own brain. often there are steps that are unclear at first and which require deep thought, but in the course of trying to understand those, you learn other things the author perhaps didn't intend, or didn't find worth writing
e.g. many of the developments in algebraic geometry up to the 80s or so could essentially be characterized as ideas people had while reading EGA and SGA.
I guess what I'm trying to say is simply that reading is a much slower and more complicated process than we might give it credit for, so rote methods of learning like copying and memorizing are ways to trick ourselves into slowing. of course this only works when one is doing it willingly. when forced to memorize or copy by a teacher, many people manage to learn to do so without actually paying attention to the text
(sorry for writing so much -- in retrospect this probably should have been an email...)
Also, rereading these now, I realize I was basically doing some version of "redoing" by writing these: taking the ideas you wrote about and reworking them into my own words. I guess this is the particular sort of "copying" that a modern university education generally trains it's students with (as you noted with your reference to "the last few hundred years of scholasticism")
Thank you for the thoughtful comments and no need to apologize, these are all great. What is interesting to me is how pointless (close) reading is if you don't apply yourself to it 100%, yet how useful it is in learning something. And there's no external way to tell the two apart; it's even difficult for the learner themselves to tell if they are in fact learning something. The "inefficiency" of rote learning (1/2)
and how easy it is to make it an utter waste of time, plus the fact that the yields aren't immediate or quantifiable, might all be part of the reason why it's looked at so negatively in American schools nowadays, but we lose a lot if we banish it entirely. (2/2)
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reading this made by heart break. i know those feelings well, and i wish i could give you advice, but i havent found any solutions myself. just dont push yourself too hard. youre an amazing person, and i know you can get through this. please stay safe.
Lisa, if I were there I would hold you. My life is so much better because I know you. I will try to write to you soon. I remember the days when I was working in fast food hell & I would read your emails before work or on break. So much love & strength ♡ You are precious to me ♡
୨୧velvetblue forgive me for moving you in such a way. i appreciate your kind words and sentiment so much, and i will take to heart your encouragement. i wish the same for you, and pray for you and your wellbeing, and relief for you as well. you are too kind, thank you so much.
୨୧vashti thank you so much for your kindness, no pressure to write before you are ready. i hope you are well, and you are in my prayers. be strong, and know that my heart and spirit is with you, and i am sending you wellness and good health. ♡ my thoughts are with you