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Fuck, another one of those entries...
I'm sorry that you feel that way. Congratulations on graduating. This is a big step in your life. I understand your worry about becoming like your father, and regarding your anger issues, but you seem like a great and interesting person. You're very aware of yourself and that's a good thing. Also, you're not at fault with what happened with that boy. Situations like that suck.
Lastly, although easier said than done, you'd be happier with another girl and you know it. I hope you find someone with whom you can experience new and exciting things. God that sounds corny but I mean it.
Sorry about what happened with that boy. It's difficult not to feel guilty, I know I would if I was in a similar situation, but remember you can't control how people interpret the things you say. You can only approach people with a good heart and then it's up to them to make something out of it.
@teethinvitro Really grateful for the advice and the compliments man, about being self-aware of myself I'd say it's one of my only benefits I have...About the boy, I still feel guilty but I know it's going to slowly stop worrying that much, the girl is something I must rethink a lot and my initial thought is to explain to her my (lack of) strong feelings for her but at the same time explaining that she's great. hugs
@forfunandforlove It's really hard to talk to him nowadays and I think a lot about what I could do differently in that moment but wrapping my head around was kind of useless because of what you've said, I can't control their interpretations, anyways thank you a lot for the comment Lazarus, stay good