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spent a good part of my morning assembling the seating for the cny dinner my parents are hosting at the house and reading everyone's lovely muse entries- now, do i procrastinate further on my essay with genshin impact or actually write it...
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oh, morbid computer is incredible, too- so haunting, it could belong in a horror game! i think this is just where i'll be spending the rest of my day, in your music page ☺
frequency-modulator
1 year ago
I just saw your comments 5 minutes ago and I just wanna say thank you for your kind words! It's really nice to hear you enjoy the random music I put on my website. It makes me feel that even musical "scraps" I post on here have some value!
frequency-modulator
1 year ago
I also did get a chance to read your muse entry and there was a lot I related to! From your discussion about how the mundane has inspired your writing, to using the written word to connect to others. I find that all forms of art can be used as such a powerful form of communication. I can definitely feel that need to express yourself in your prose, and it makes me invested in what you have to say as a result!
can't believe i hadn't come across your site before- your writing is wonderful and i am excited to see more. writing as a way to feel real- that's a feeling i understand all too well, alongside using writing to stop being stuck in your head and being so self-conscious that you stop before you even begin.
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denpatenshi
1 year ago
(and your most recent entry about fantasizing about being hyperfunctional upon getting medication? it feels like looking into a mirror- wishing you the best of luck with getting your adhd meds, and lovely to make your acquaintance!)
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cheytopia
1 year ago
This is so kind thank you so much! If we're gonna be in the shit I'm glad we can at least be in it together. Absolutely fabulous to meet you:)
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ahhhh, i can't believe /you/ enjoy /my/ music page?! your music is all so beautiful and nostalgic! you have a way with creating intriguing melodies and rhythms- i feel i could get addicted to your compositions! ☺
denpatenshi
1 year ago
what you said in your muse ariadne entry is something i can apply to with creative writing- i can really relate to the desire to learn about structure and theory to understand and further shape my narrative voice, but i really agree at the same time at how considering theory too much often stifles your artistic voice.
denpatenshi
1 year ago
it really made me think of something i heard about a while ago when it came to visual arts- how as you grow older and expand your virtual library, you feel more stuck in art because of your misunderstanding that your art should fit in a neat box. it's why i chose to dabble with music, even if i am pretty amateur at it, haha. i do it because it's fun! i do it to exercise my creativity! i do it for the hell of it!
denpatenshi
1 year ago
thank you for writing, and i hope the writing club gives you more of an excuse to write ☺! now excuse me as i replay half-baked for hours on end...
first of all, i really enjoy how you write. there's something raw and real to it, something that i really admire in a writer, and something i see you value as well. personally, i feel that it doesn't matter whether you're 'good' at writing or not- as long as you're expressing yourself, finding that catharsis that you need in creation, isn't that all that matters?
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denpatenshi
1 year ago
i think we approach writing in different directions, and with that, there's something i can learn from you and your approach. i used to never be satisfied in expressing myself, i've always felt the need to turn it into something poetic, weave something out of it, like you said. and i think there's a power in expressing it in metaphors and allusions, exploring the full extent of how you feel and how it affects you.
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denpatenshi
1 year ago
but sometimes, i find a form of catharsis in just plainly saying that "i am sad" too. the example you shared is something i felt almost constantly when i was younger, feeling simultaneously unimportant and too important at the same time. i think eventually, it comes to a point where no amount of descriptors can describe that piercing agony. there's value in both, and it ties into emotional honesty and vulnerability.
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denpatenshi
1 year ago
i think this ended up devolving into a ramble ten minutes in- but, i enjoyed your entry, i enjoy your blog, and i'm looking forward to seeing more of your site!
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alicebluef0f8ff
1 year ago
Thank you so much for your kind words <333. I also think i can learn from your approach to writing too :) . I definitely get caught up in the details & the language a lot of the time, and sometimes miss the underlying emotion (shoutout english not being my first language).
alicebluef0f8ff
1 year ago
I think neither ways of writing are any worse than the other, and they're both important in their own ways. In fact, there is nothing more refreshing seeing someone saying how they feel outright sometimes, especially when you're in that same mood. I've read books that are written like masterpieces, each line expertly crafted & each chapter a revelation. But it completely falls flat compared to feeling seen by another
alicebluef0f8ff
1 year ago
a blogpost about the same condition you have. All words have their place, and their time. I also look forward to seeing more of your site :)
alicebluef0f8ff
1 year ago
(also i really liked your muse post! the part about being your own voyeur ever since childhood... i'm glad you put it to words cause it really resonated with me.)
your comment on my response made my absolute day- i'm glad that my writing struck a chord in you! your writing is wonderfully theatrical- it captures well the idea of being a conduit for words, rather than the conductor. i understand the feeling of feeling like the words carry you rather than the other way around.
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denpatenshi
1 year ago
it feels almost religious, in the way one is humbled before divinity, fearful and yet brave enough to do so anyway. it's really hard to write, especially when you feel like what you have to say or how you have to say it isn't good enough. but i, for one, am looking forward to more of your magical writing. ☺
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swiftred
1 year ago
Oh my, I feel overwhelmed! This made my whole week. I squealed with joy as I read it. It means the absolute world to me that you took the time to say what you said. To have my writing be described as magical, theatrical, and almost religious? What a gift you've given me. I'm glad my writing was evocative of something. Thank you thank you thank you!!
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i loved every second i was reading your first response to the writing club prompt. writing as an extension of thought and wanting to think of something new is something i can relate to all too well. the mundane is so hard to write about, but i'm glad to find someone who finds beauty in it, the inherent surrealism of day-to-day life, especially in this day and age.
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denpatenshi
1 year ago
a quote i really resonated with was this: "one yearns for a new kind of pain, new kinds of ambiguities, that force the mind to confront other possibilities." sometimes, other people succintly put into words an idea you had no clue on how to capture. i really enjoyed your insight- and your commentary on mou tun-fei intrigues me. i never really thought about creation through abstract theory, but it sounds magical.
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denpatenshi
1 year ago
creation on the foundation of interpretation and original thought- i think it ties everything together well. writing as a conduit for understanding the workings of one's mind and ideas. thank you for sharing. i feel seen through you. ♥ can't wait to see your response next week!
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saddleblasters
1 year ago
Thank you so much for reading! When I wrote that yesterday, I had just finished Kazushi Hosaka's "Plainsong", which has character he mentions that as a kid he wanted to be a novelist, but that he gave up on it to become a filmmaker because writing always has to be about something, whereas when making a film you can just turn the camera on when talking to friends and let it captures what it captures.
saddleblasters
1 year ago
The paradox was that Hosaka's novel somehow also manages to feel like a camera dropped into the lives of its characters, capturing glances at their daily routines and snippets of their conversations without making it about anything. Seeing him so successful at it makes me wish I could be a camera — some kind of psychological camera, that captures more than just light, that somehow meditates without judging.
saddleblasters
1 year ago
I read your response as well, and you mention that your writing has shifted from fantasies about other lives to more directly confronting reality. But I don’t think there needs to be a conflict between the two. I think that in recording and contemplating our reality, we can still meditate on our fantasies and why they exist inside of us. The contrast between fantasy and reality can allow us to look at both closer.
saddleblasters
1 year ago
This is one of those things that we could both spend thousands of words writing about, so I’ll leave at that for now. Anyways, it just passed midnight here. I’m not sure what time zone you’re in, but happy new year!
100 followers :-) thank you dearly for listening to me yap 24/7......and if someone unfollows and it goes down to 99 this will be really embarrassing haha. read little busters!
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michaelmas
1 year ago
I think you would be well suited at writing field guides or nature encyclopedias; You have the voice for it, the voice that makes everything sound wonderful, no matter how small. If you ever upload that poem anywhere, you should let me know. I wrote a poem the otehr night, but had a dream that someone told me it was awful (& it is in all likeliness awful), so it's remained hidden from sight & is still a first draft.
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loneliwish
1 year ago
Thanks angeleyesprings ! Btw your sense of design is wonderful. The layout for cutechara.html is so nostalgic and pretty !
loneliwish
1 year ago
thanks vashti, i'm always happy to hear your thoughts on my posts. it may take a while, but i will send you the poem in april or earlier !
loneliwish
1 year ago
@vashti pt 2 : oh no, that sounds like a pretty troubling dream. i'd be interested in reading the poem if you'd like to share it. but no pressure, and no rush. i remember one poem i wrote and left alone for a long, long time, i came back to it later with sharper eyes, and that round of editing made it way shorter and way better
Your writing for muse is really remarkable. I enjoyed it, and can relate in some ways. I was especially struck by you talking about being your own voyeur.
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rambles _(:3」∠)_
Thank you for sharing such hopeful sentiments with us, Sarah ♡
You're so sweet Vashti, thank you for your words ♡♡ When I'm struggling I'll always try to tell myself that however I feel won't last forever, and that the sun will rise again!!