Neocities

epeorus swiftred

8 months ago

i saw your comment on my journal page! and i'm feeling very normal emotions (/pos) that you linked to it in your blog. just as a heads-up, i did a Major overhaul of the whole layout of the journal page, and the new url is https://epeorus.neocities.org/the_journal_friendly#16Mar25_memories ! hope you're having a wonderful day :)

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swiftred 8 months ago

Updated the link, thank you! Have a great day :)

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swiftred updated trauma corner

8 months ago

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ocrevol 8 months ago

ok this is gonna seem like it's in response to this journal but it's not it's just a synchronicity I've been thinking about it all day. But I wanted to tell u that ur recent posts inspired me to start writing (and SHARING) fanfic again for the first time in I'm pretty sure more than a decade and I want to say THANK U for that :)))

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ocrevol 8 months ago

also its genuinely wild to me how often I'll be having vague thoughts that I can't be bothered to sit down and externalise in a coherent manner and then within a day or so you'll drop a post that is those same thoughts. Mind blown on a weekly basis fr

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ocrevol 8 months ago

my impression of you is that you are a very thoughtful/interesting/sincere/kind person + find your ability to rationally self-analyze very impressive

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swiftred 8 months ago

re: fanfiction, YAYYY!! I'm SO happy to hear that 😊 Talk about synchronicity, I only just started posting after a 9-10yr writing-block and once I got past the fear of starting, it's been such a gift. I hope the writing and sharing proves a good experience for you too. Thank you lots for telling me that.

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swiftred 8 months ago

And to be fair, I did read your entry yesterday where you discuss being percieved, but it didn't feel prudent to tag it. Thank you, too, for sharing your impression of me. I'm highly, highly grateful and appreciative :,3 thank you!! Forever plagued with the introspection bug, and I'm glad what I barf out is coherent 😁💜

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miela583 8 months ago

I love your blog; here, at least, you seem very thoughtful and sincere, and not afraid to talk about some very personal stuff. Plus, your "noticing" page is truly lovely.

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sneekrealm 8 months ago

relatedly: occasionally when i spot someone saying something sweet about me on disc or whatnot i'll screenshot and save that ... something heartwarming about that type stuff

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sneekrealm 8 months ago

but also sometimes i lowkey forget in general my existence Actually Impacts people in whatever way so even positive reminders of it feel a little humbling (heartwarmingly) - but i guess this might also make it easier for me to brush off some ppl's negative views about Me Existing for what its worth? if that makes sense......

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swiftred 8 months ago

@miela583 this means more than you know, thank you :,)

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swiftred 8 months ago

@sneekrealm it absolutely makes sense, yes. I’ve been meaning to sort of archive the kind comments I’ve received here and try to remember to look at them and just let it sink in. I also often feel I don't make an impact even despite evidence otherwise, and for me, I sorta suffer from a lack of ‘Existence permanence,’ like, I assume I disappear from people’s minds

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badgraph1csghost 8 months ago

i love your blog posts and your noticing page. they always have something new for me to think about that i never would have come up with myself. your noticing page has made me more aware of my own surroundings (i "notice" more now). i don't always reply because my brain can't usually give me the right words, but i think about you and your site often.

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niicespiice 8 months ago

in terms of the "not knowing how to communicate to someone in a normal way" my opinion is like. why does it matter to you if it's the normal way or not (also i swear i tried to post this before but it got deleted, or maybe my wifi just died idk)

ocrevol 8 months ago

I read "normal" in this context as "socially acceptable + therefore unlikely to be misread and accidentally offend/repulse"

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swiftred 8 months ago

I’m struggling to pinpoint what you’re referring to specifically @niicespiice, but yes, what @ocrevol said, like, fuck being normal but also, I still worry about social alienation and repulsion because I am really affected by that. It’s hard to fully unmask, though I continue to try.

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misfitkittykat updated MisfitKittyKat's Cafe

8 months ago

Home.html

About.html

theadr updated the adrs's web

8 months ago

the adrs's web

swiftred updated trauma corner

8 months ago

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niicespiice 8 months ago

very relatable about the "i COULD rest but i don't want to" thing. like people say stuff like "take a break when you want." i hate that, they don't understand at all. because if i let myself at the very least have excuses like that, i'll never do anything. i'd rather work until i'm drained and forcibly must rest, that's probably the best option

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swiftred 8 months ago

Lol, yes same 😭😭. I also hate when people tell me to take a break. If I took a break whenever I was tired, it’d be 90% breaks 😐

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niicespiice 8 months ago

i think it's a very "not mentally ill" take to have? because they don't understand mentally ill people they assume we're exactly like them, even though our tolerance is FAR FAR lower. so because of that they go "take a break when you want" and it's like. yeah. i do that and i get called "lazy" or "wasting my life" so what do you guys want 😭

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nerdymug updated Nerdy Mug

8 months ago

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misfitkittykat updated MisfitKittyKat's Cafe

8 months ago

Radio.html

Party.html

MisfitKittyKat's Cafe

About.html

Home.html

theadr updated the adrs's web

8 months ago

the adrs's web

swiftred ocrevol

8 months ago

Hi, do you mind if I screenshot that quote you left under my page update and stick it in my post? Or, do you remember where you read it from?

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ocrevol 8 months ago

I don't mind if you screenshot, I do remember where I saw it but would take some digging to find the actual post

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swiftred updated trauma corner

8 months ago

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swiftred 8 months ago

A new blogpost from He Who Internalizes Everything

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ocrevol 8 months ago

(continuing the thread here) tbh I'm probably being a lil too mean re: Pete Walker I think he's a good guy with some good advice but the book has got some triggering elements for sure + yeah very therapy focused, which has not er been very helpful for me anecdotally either

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swiftred 8 months ago

Ah, understood! And thank you for commenting on this, by the way :) I've been delighted, and your voice is very much valued

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mustikas 8 months ago

resonates with me soooo muchhhhh. i often feel "too explicit" for the most of online spaces. like there's a "bourdary" of negativity i can talk about. i mean, on personal pages and accounts. even if i put tw, i still feel...... strange and anxious. THANK YOU for writing this

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niicespiice 8 months ago

based and dissilution-of-mental-illness-pilled (?). but 43 is so me

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swiftred 8 months ago

@mustikas I write this as much as a persuasion to myself as well. I still get freaked out sharing, feeling like I’m not allowed to be “too” mentally ill in a public space (online) even though it is my personal website, mirroring what you said.

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misfitkittykat updated MisfitKittyKat's Cafe

8 months ago

swiftred updated trauma corner

8 months ago

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ocrevol 8 months ago

very much understand the hide impulse but I do enjoy reading your Me

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swiftred 8 months ago

thank you :,) it's much appreciated

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vesperings 8 months ago

Had a lot of fun reading through your word collection and testing how they felt spoken.

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swiftred 8 months ago

Delighted to hear that :3 thank you for commenting, @wanillaberry

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badgraph1csghost 8 months ago

My goal in life is to be everyone's cool lesbian auntie (something something japanese twitter)

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badgraph1csghost 8 months ago

Also, one of the things I had to really teach myself when i was planning my site was: if I don't write about me, who will?

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swiftred 8 months ago

Thank you, Tina :) I'm going to remember that for the future. You've eased my mind some.

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ocrevol 8 months ago

re:44 reminds me of a post I saw the other day that said "sick people should have a right to congregate and discuss our illness without worrying about doing it in a way that doesn't upset the healthy people, it shouldn't be shameful or offensive to be visibly ill""

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ocrevol 8 months ago

also i lol'd at the surviving the thriving reference man I was told to read that book a few months ago and while it was eye opening in some regards it was exceptionally unhelpful in others and I found myself overall wishing I had skipped it and read psychomagic instead

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swiftred 8 months ago

@ocrevol I really enjoy the quote you shared and I agree with it wholeheartedly. I feel like I've been hurting lately, not entirely feeling there's an acceptable place to be visibly ill-- but that may be more self-imposed than anything, I'm not sure though.

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swiftred 8 months ago

And, hah, I forgot that was the title of the book. I have it on a shelf and wanted to get back to it, actually. I feel "going from surviving to thriving" has become a sort of colloquial phrase and is expected of us, otherwise we're doing life wrong. I did find Pete Walker's '13 Steps for Managing Flashbacks' on his website to be insightful, so I hope to find good stuff in the book. Not in the mood to read it rn tho

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misfitkittykat updated MisfitKittyKat's Cafe

8 months ago

theadr updated the adrs's web

8 months ago

the adrs's web

legaosaure-craft updated LeGaosaure's Craft

8 months ago

knitting.html

crochet.html

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misfitkittykat updated MisfitKittyKat's Cafe

8 months ago

Vet-Clinic-Volunteer.html

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swiftred updated trauma corner

8 months ago

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foundsomething devhank

8 months ago

Hi, thanks for following me! I love your site, that's why I followed you back :)

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devhank 8 months ago

Tks! My site is still under construction, I'm editing images to upload here and finish js files. I was looking for webdev tutorial webs here so I found you ;)

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legaosaure-craft updated LeGaosaure's Craft

8 months ago

LeGaosaure's Craft

crochet.html

crochet/crochet_094.html

swiftred updated trauma corner

8 months ago

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swiftred 8 months ago

New page for Persona 3 Reload screenshots, rawr. Take a look at it if you're cool ;3

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badgraph1csghost 8 months ago

i'm so glad you managed to not die in an electrical fire O.O

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swiftred 8 months ago

Thank you, it was scary for a bit :,)

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vesperings 8 months ago

Once again obsessed with how poetic the things you notice are.

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swiftred 8 months ago

@wanillaberry hehe, much appreciated! Thank you :D

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niicespiice 8 months ago

i wanna play this game so badly but i dont know where to find it. thats not like reload which costs a billion dollars

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niicespiice 8 months ago

35: perhaps the world is just a forest. sometimes there is a gap where the light comes through. sometimes there are so many trees you cannot see anything. but there is no exit from the forest like people proclaim. there's just different ways to process it (COUGH COUGH AVE MUJICA COUGH COUGH sorry hyperfixation got me there)

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