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aaa i relate a lot to what you wrote about, but wrote too much for box lol. even tho i like girly things 99% of it i do not care for or my interests have layers to it i might as well buy it myself. like you said i usually look off my wishlist of something i havent bought for myself yet that wouldnt be too weird to ask for. i def feel harder on myself about womenhood since i dont fit into either box.
Uh for gift ideas or recs i think someone buying something you both share a common interest in. like if you both like music swapping cds or making a mix cd(maybe of songs you like and songs they like. I also like gifting food/snacks to people either new stuff they might like to try or something hard to get. Like i had a friend get me some buns from a japanese bakery local to them for me when i came over.
i dont want to spam your page but if you want to talk more about it lemme know! it was kinda need seeing someone else have the same feelings about gifting. we can swap discords or dm on tumblr or something!
i'm pretty set on my gender i believe (i'm just a little guy lol) but i am a chronically bad gift giver, both with actual gifts and just... cards. i remember birthdays through reminders and say happy birthday but i never know what to get someone (even when i know what their interests are!) usually i just default to just money because i'd rather see someone happy with what they truly want!
(cont.) i know just giving/getting money can be a bit impersonal but i usually explain to the gift getter that i suck at giving gifts and would rather you show me the cool thing you bought with that money :)
Realllly relate to the whole disconnecting from womanhood thing & also wondering if woman actually want whats on those list or if they're just commercialized. I think it's a steady mix of both, but i know it's really frustrating. I had these kind of thoughts who awhile before beginning to identify as agender. Its a lot more peaceful for me to recognize that I can like things without assigning a gender to them
When it comes to finding gifts, I tend to start by focusing on my interests, whether that be an activity or some kind of fandom and try to branch out from there. Maybe theres a hobby that you've always wanted to try? For me, sometimes I put off doing things that I hypothetically want because there are obstacles i'm too tired to move by myself
aka, something like maybe you want to learn to book bind but you're missing the materials & a tutorial. Maybe thinking about activities/experiences instead of objects will be it easier to think of something!
ahhh yes i've identified as nonbinary for maybe 5-6 years now. i guess i just mourn womanhood every year when all these feelings are stirred up. thanks for the advice! i sure do have plenty of hobbies and a hoard of supplies for them but i did end up asking for acrylic paints. i used to be pretty good at painting but i have painted maybe twice since identifying as nonbinary
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today alone i've been working on this for 7 hours :o
to avoid clogging peoples feeds i'll put this update here: I have spent another 8 hours working on this LMAO