Neocities

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

5 months ago

saddleblasters

records.html

8 likes

siqu 5 months ago

Seems like after awhile all the "first times" get locked behind long grinds -- "first times" are "successive" in a way, a trail of continuity -- and it's hard to see if they even exist anymore, or if they're worth the effort, and if it's too late anyway. When you find a "successive" path, maybe it makes an opposing vortex against the infinite. One could hope all scattered dots connect and unlock such paths, maybe

1 like

saddleblasters 5 months ago

@siqu Normally I don't think it matters all that much and I can just focus on whatever I've been working on lately, but sometimes looking at my life as a whole, I get sad about "first times" that have been lost, even if like you said they're not really worth the effort anymore. There's so many!

1 like

angelsaremathematical saddleblasters

5 months ago

thank you for commenting on my post about studies! i added your comments to the end of the post!

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angelsaremathematical 5 months ago

i also got sucked into reading your essays. very interesting read. you have a great website. you are cool

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

6 months ago

saddleblasters

poetry/preface.html

poetry/index.html

4 likes

saddleblasters 6 months ago

for some reason i made a weird custom twitter-type thing where only i can post

3 likes

suboptimalism 6 months ago

i've resisted the urge to do something like this for years

2 likes

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

6 months ago

saddleblasters

records.html

5 likes

saddleblasters standardbody

7 months ago

Thank you for writing about Bandits in Print! I'd love to read your notes on the other books in your reading list if/when you get around to writing them

2 likes

standardbody 6 months ago

thank you for your kind words. i have more (less coherent) notes on a variety of books, i'm currently attempting to rationalize my workflow so i dont have to manually write out/format my writing into html. unfortunately i know nothing about computers and everything is broken. but remain vigilant!

1 like

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

7 months ago

snapshots/index.html

snapshots/vendingmachine.html

saddleblasters

records.html

9 likes

siqu 7 months ago

w.r.t. changing others, it's inevitable so may as well embrace it. Depending on how you influence others, they may enjoy the changes and thank you for it. Reading some of your essays contributed to writing again for some sanity, so thank you (´･ω･`) Weird how writing can be both an exercise in pointlessness but also the spark to change for the better

2 likes

saddleblasters 7 months ago

I think it's easier to influence people positively when we're just interacting over the internet. E.g. if you like my writing you can keep reading it, and if you dislike it (or just find an individual piece boring) it's easy to forget about it. But with real life relationships, the good often has to be taken with the bad, so I feel a little sad seeing my bad habits (i.e. anti-socialness) infect someone else

1 like

saddleblasters 7 months ago

Writing is nice, because whenever I sit down to write (or to read something you or someone else wrote) anything can happen. There's always the potential to think new thoughts or to become a new person for a few moments, as long as we can stay out of depressive spirals.

2 likes

vashti 7 months ago

I think in many ways, nostalgia is just a constant cycle. I used to think I felt nostalgic for a year or two ago, that I was happier then, till a week or two ago when I read my diary & thought things sounded "simpler" & "happier" only a few months ago, when that is not the case. I'm just as happy now as I was then, even if it's a lack of happiness. This is to say that I think nostalgia is largely illusory.

1 like

vashti 7 months ago

I make it a point to remind myself that the times I am living right now will eventually be nostalgic for me, and rather than nostalgia being a narrowing, burdensome thing that puts me into some sort of narrative, it’s instead cause for me to live as well as I can, right now. Hope your feelings ease up soon, maybe not happiness per se, but that your necessary sadnesses and miseries become easier to bear.

2 likes

wiichicken saddleblasters

7 months ago

the thing about listing is so true. i love making lists, i should make a list page on my site...

4 likes

amari-ga-shin-da saddleblasters

7 months ago

Thank you for following!! I really enjoy how simple, yet extremely in depth your website is, I could spend hours reading your whole site and not even be done :3c The subjects of your writings are really interesting too! I'ts cool learning about/hearing your thoughts on Chinese topics, so like I said I don't think I'd get bored reading your site at all (plus your cover image is adorable!)

4 likes

amari-ga-shin-da 7 months ago

Also to answer your hat question, I don't think the hat in Binetsu has a specific name, but I think it might be either a toque or an Andean chollo? I did also look up "knit hat with bobble and ear flaps," So maybe try that heehee ^^;

saddleblasters 7 months ago

Thank you! a lot of the illusion of depth on my website just comes from it being disorganized and changing how I do thinks every few months. A lot of the older essays in particular are pretty silly and I need to revisit those themes soon. I read your diary and like all your drawings/character designs! If you like rabbits, there's a popular Shanghainese candy brand called "White Rabbit"

2 likes

amari-ga-shin-da 7 months ago

Oh oh I have a bag of white rabbit in my room right now actually :D I like keeping the wrappers since the designs are so cute, thank you for visiting my website also!!

2 likes

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

7 months ago

saddleblasters

lists/preface.html

lists/index.html

5 likes

saddleblasters 7 months ago

Made a place to put lists

2 likes

saddleblasters 7 months ago

As with everything on this website, I'm sure this will very quickly become a massive pain to navigate as I add to it. Hopefully I'll be inspired to think seriously about organization someday!

balckwell 7 months ago

you've mentioned your brother's quote about lists often enough now that it's seeped into my brain and i fully believe it

1 like

balckwell 7 months ago

i should start making some lists

suboptimalism 7 months ago

dunno if it's quirky enough but i got this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGFeBHV8v2U

1 like

suboptimalism 7 months ago

i designed a list page a while ago but never uploaded it... maybe it is time

1 like

suttaslime 7 months ago

this is a great idea! i look forward to following this as it grows. going through the music now - i'm familiar with tentenko, but hadn't heard of MikaTen

1 like

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

7 months ago

saddleblasters

records.html

6 likes

aleph-0 7 months ago

I like your writing style. It's atmospheric.

2 likes

onlywonder saddleblasters

8 months ago

Hello! I just redid the JRock webring and invite you to re-join! Sorry for any inconvenience and thank you for your interest! https://onlywonder.net/jrockwebring/

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

8 months ago

saddleblasters

essays/240424.html

9 likes

saddleblasters 8 months ago

It's been a long time since I've written an actual essay. In this last week of National Poetry Month, I'm sharing this piece about Du Fu (my favorite poet?). I hinted at it earlier in the month, and, well, it's gone through quite a few transformations since then.

1 like

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

8 months ago

records.html

saddleblasters

6 likes

sorbier 8 months ago

that dictionary is horrifying.

2 likes

sorbier 8 months ago

i wonder if you might get something out of going halfway of sorts -- bring your phone with you but keep it off unless you need to pay for something?

1 like

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

8 months ago

saddleblasters

saddle-show.html

5 likes

mothcub saddleblasters

8 months ago

vibes

2 likes

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

8 months ago

saddleblasters

journal/index.html

journal/games.html

4 likes

suboptimalism 8 months ago

reading that bob's game essay is like mainlining the zeitgeist of the noughties (gradual descent into complete psychosis included at no extra cost). 5 minutes in, i had a premonition that tim would show up somehow...

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saddleblasters 8 months ago

his characterization of tim is absolutely hilarious!

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saddleblasters 8 months ago

also for the record, i don't think anything he wrote is all that psychotic. it's just a lot of standard buddhist ideas, though expressed through christian language, which i think defamiliarizes it and makes it sound more extreme than it actually is. but, yeah, he's clearly been through a lot, which is what makes this such a fantastic and unique piece of literature

2 likes

siqu 8 months ago

"The video game industry (and most other industries) are essentially criminal cults, indoctrinating children with mind control which makes the children stray from their families, develop no skills to have other choices, and become enslaved by the addiction and loss of will, hypnotizes them and leads them right into the waiting hands of the cult."

2 likes

siqu 8 months ago

Psalm 82 (´･ω･`)

1 like

balckwell 8 months ago

haven't finished the whole essay but these are far from "standard buddhist ideas"... his is an extremely paranoid worldview resulting from isolation and drug abuse. reminds me a lot of Philip K Dick. regarding your journal: i hope this decision lifts a burden from your shoulders and helps you focus on your other passions

2 likes

saddleblasters 8 months ago

Your absolutely right and I shouldn't have said that without rereading the whole piece instead of only relying on my memory and skimming. I was mostly thinking of the "we can all be god" part, but of course there was so much more that I had forgotten/didn't notice

2 likes

suboptimalism 8 months ago

coincidentally i read the essay right after finishing a pkd novel and it felt like a smooth transition

2 likes

saddleblasters 8 months ago

i think i have an unhealthy tendency to relate to one or two things and translate them into "my language", blinding myself to other things e.g. his attitude in some parts that mind control is just part of our nature and not something to worry too much about became "we're all just constantly deluding ourselves and each other" -- but this misses the intentionality and malice that the word "mind control" implies

2 likes

suboptimalism 8 months ago

that happens a lot when people encounter psychotic rambles, they instinctively try to make it "make sense", usually by interpreting things meant literally as being figurative.

2 likes

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

8 months ago

webrings.html

saddleblasters

records.html

2 likes

siqu 8 months ago

hope you find the engrossing hobby -- games could be it. A very enjoyable post of yours meditated upon the inaccessible virtual worlds, "liminal pasts" -- what better way than to expand upon it than to add to it with your own, perhaps (´･ω･`)

1 like

melxncholyman saddleblasters

8 months ago

something about your writing style makes me want to read it forever. also 在 neocities 上找到说中文的人好开心 :)

3 likes

saddleblasters 8 months ago

Thank you! Writing all of this stuff makes me feel exhausted, especially the Chinese stuff, but hopefully I'll find a way to keep coming up with ideas.

2 likes

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

9 months ago