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a late reply: thank you so much for the kind words you left on my more recent page update <3 It means so much to me. I can say comfortly that I visit your site on a daily basis. And when I don't comment on your updates, do know I'm quietly reading 🙂🙌
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badgraph1csghost 3 months ago

youre so welcome! like i said, i love your noticing page

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ocrevol 3 months ago

do you care if I link to 52 in my blog post or would you prefer no

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swiftred 3 months ago

@ocrevol totally cool with that :)

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hi, love the ethereal glassiness(?) of your home page!
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lakestheguy 3 months ago

thank you! i've been a huge fan of aero glass since i was a kid

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oceanaura 3 months ago

I've also loved some of the elements of frutiger aero before I discovered the term last year - do you know Aesthethy on yt?

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lakestheguy 3 months ago

i don't i do. why do they have videos on frutiger aero

oceanaura 3 months ago

yes, their frutiger aero analysis video was where I learned the term from - they have some really good videos

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lakestheguy 3 months ago

thanks for the recommendation. i'll be sure to check them out :)

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niicespiice 3 months ago

write in notes app on phone without any formatting and then go back and add it once your pc is chargable again. good luck!!

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swiftred 3 months ago

I’ll do that :) thanks!!

i saw your comment on my journal page! and i'm feeling very normal emotions (/pos) that you linked to it in your blog. just as a heads-up, i did a Major overhaul of the whole layout of the journal page, and the new url is https://epeorus.neocities.org/the_journal_friendly#16Mar25_memories ! hope you're having a wonderful day :)
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swiftred 3 months ago

Updated the link, thank you! Have a great day :)

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ocrevol 3 months ago

ok this is gonna seem like it's in response to this journal but it's not it's just a synchronicity I've been thinking about it all day. But I wanted to tell u that ur recent posts inspired me to start writing (and SHARING) fanfic again for the first time in I'm pretty sure more than a decade and I want to say THANK U for that :)))

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ocrevol 3 months ago

also its genuinely wild to me how often I'll be having vague thoughts that I can't be bothered to sit down and externalise in a coherent manner and then within a day or so you'll drop a post that is those same thoughts. Mind blown on a weekly basis fr

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ocrevol 3 months ago

my impression of you is that you are a very thoughtful/interesting/sincere/kind person + find your ability to rationally self-analyze very impressive

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swiftred 3 months ago

re: fanfiction, YAYYY!! I'm SO happy to hear that 😊 Talk about synchronicity, I only just started posting after a 9-10yr writing-block and once I got past the fear of starting, it's been such a gift. I hope the writing and sharing proves a good experience for you too. Thank you lots for telling me that.

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swiftred 3 months ago

And to be fair, I did read your entry yesterday where you discuss being percieved, but it didn't feel prudent to tag it. Thank you, too, for sharing your impression of me. I'm highly, highly grateful and appreciative :,3 thank you!! Forever plagued with the introspection bug, and I'm glad what I barf out is coherent 😁💜

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miela583 3 months ago

I love your blog; here, at least, you seem very thoughtful and sincere, and not afraid to talk about some very personal stuff. Plus, your "noticing" page is truly lovely.

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sneekrealm 3 months ago

relatedly: occasionally when i spot someone saying something sweet about me on disc or whatnot i'll screenshot and save that ... something heartwarming about that type stuff

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sneekrealm 3 months ago

but also sometimes i lowkey forget in general my existence Actually Impacts people in whatever way so even positive reminders of it feel a little humbling (heartwarmingly) - but i guess this might also make it easier for me to brush off some ppl's negative views about Me Existing for what its worth? if that makes sense......

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swiftred 3 months ago

@miela583 this means more than you know, thank you :,)

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swiftred 3 months ago

@sneekrealm it absolutely makes sense, yes. I’ve been meaning to sort of archive the kind comments I’ve received here and try to remember to look at them and just let it sink in. I also often feel I don't make an impact even despite evidence otherwise, and for me, I sorta suffer from a lack of ‘Existence permanence,’ like, I assume I disappear from people’s minds

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badgraph1csghost 3 months ago

i love your blog posts and your noticing page. they always have something new for me to think about that i never would have come up with myself. your noticing page has made me more aware of my own surroundings (i "notice" more now). i don't always reply because my brain can't usually give me the right words, but i think about you and your site often.

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niicespiice 3 months ago

in terms of the "not knowing how to communicate to someone in a normal way" my opinion is like. why does it matter to you if it's the normal way or not (also i swear i tried to post this before but it got deleted, or maybe my wifi just died idk)

ocrevol 3 months ago

I read "normal" in this context as "socially acceptable + therefore unlikely to be misread and accidentally offend/repulse"

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swiftred 3 months ago

I’m struggling to pinpoint what you’re referring to specifically @niicespiice, but yes, what @ocrevol said, like, fuck being normal but also, I still worry about social alienation and repulsion because I am really affected by that. It’s hard to fully unmask, though I continue to try.

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i got a notification but for some reason when i click on it, it isn't showing up
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wait what is this whats going on im so confused... (o.o)7
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niicespiice 3 months ago

very relatable about the "i COULD rest but i don't want to" thing. like people say stuff like "take a break when you want." i hate that, they don't understand at all. because if i let myself at the very least have excuses like that, i'll never do anything. i'd rather work until i'm drained and forcibly must rest, that's probably the best option

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swiftred 3 months ago

Lol, yes same 😭😭. I also hate when people tell me to take a break. If I took a break whenever I was tired, it’d be 90% breaks 😐

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niicespiice 3 months ago

i think it's a very "not mentally ill" take to have? because they don't understand mentally ill people they assume we're exactly like them, even though our tolerance is FAR FAR lower. so because of that they go "take a break when you want" and it's like. yeah. i do that and i get called "lazy" or "wasting my life" so what do you guys want 😭

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Hi, do you mind if I screenshot that quote you left under my page update and stick it in my post? Or, do you remember where you read it from?
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ocrevol 3 months ago

I don't mind if you screenshot, I do remember where I saw it but would take some digging to find the actual post

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swiftred 3 months ago

A new blogpost from He Who Internalizes Everything

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ocrevol 3 months ago

(continuing the thread here) tbh I'm probably being a lil too mean re: Pete Walker I think he's a good guy with some good advice but the book has got some triggering elements for sure + yeah very therapy focused, which has not er been very helpful for me anecdotally either

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swiftred 3 months ago

Ah, understood! And thank you for commenting on this, by the way :) I've been delighted, and your voice is very much valued

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mustikas 3 months ago

resonates with me soooo muchhhhh. i often feel "too explicit" for the most of online spaces. like there's a "bourdary" of negativity i can talk about. i mean, on personal pages and accounts. even if i put tw, i still feel...... strange and anxious. THANK YOU for writing this

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niicespiice 3 months ago

based and dissilution-of-mental-illness-pilled (?). but 43 is so me

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swiftred 3 months ago

@mustikas I write this as much as a persuasion to myself as well. I still get freaked out sharing, feeling like I’m not allowed to be “too” mentally ill in a public space (online) even though it is my personal website, mirroring what you said.

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decided to add some old art. sorry that 2 of them are webp. i sort of download my old drawings from discord. so if you hate webp, blame them
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oh my gosh tysm for adding my button to your site!! i rlly appreciate it :333
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lakestheguy 3 months ago

no problem. i love adding neighbors to my other sites page

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