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miela583
6 months ago
Keeping your blog posts is impressive! I kept piles of notebooks worth of journals when I was living overseas, when I was not mentally doing my best, and had a friend in a different town where they burned trash dispose of them for me for max destruction. I know I should regret erasing that record, but it was fantastic. Anyway, this is probably a very bad comment, but I admire your resolve to keep things around!
swiftred
6 months ago
Thank you! <3 <3 On the contrary!! It means a lot. It's so on point, I used to have a very early blog post about how good I am at destroying things like diary entries and blog posts. But I did a lot of writing this year and it was valuable to me. I think if I were to put them back up, I would end up culling some of them... I don't know. I cringe at past me a lot. Sometimes destruction is the answer, I feel.
badgraph1csghost
6 months ago
that's a common thing in the legit detrans stories I read: the hormones didn't really help them with anything, it just made stuff more confusing, either for them or the people around them. i agree, living in a label-driven, mostly binary society truly sucks ass.
I feel this a lot. Since society mostly tends to want people into man/boy or woman/girl, non-binary people end up being boxed into people's "best guess" the vast majority of the time. Even though I'm probably somewhat non-binary, I don't like the label, and also although some other types of terms like demiboy and agender adjacent like terms seem to fit a bit better, none of them actually do. I prefer he/him though.
Also I don't pass lol, despite 2 years of testosterone, people just tend to refer to me as she/her or seem confused or act awkward or unsure when I tell them my preferred name (binary male sounding name). Kind of annoying but 2 years is still kinda early in the scheme of second puberty. I'm hoping I pass more than 10% of the time in future. I feel somewhat reassured I'm not the only one having similar thoughts.
It's possible people think I'm a trans woman though rather than a cis woman? I have no idea. I'll never know because my estimates of passing if purely based on the reactions of strangers. (sorry for the ramble just thought I'd share my thoughts!)
swiftred
6 months ago
@pixelgade It's more than welcome!! :) Thank you for sharing <3 Heh, and on the gauging passing thing-- sometimes I wish I could ask strangers flat out, "What do you see when you look at me???" But I also expressly don't want to know 😁😁💜 because it may hurt my feelings lol
win1999
6 months ago
how moo-citing! ... ... all seriousness aside, somehow I never knew about the hurdy gurdy. I always thought that was the violin i was hearing
moocyte
6 months ago
It's a pretty forgotten instrument, falling out of style after the baroque period I believe. But it's going through a real revival! The giveaway is the clacking of keys, and the continuous sound which isn't possible witha violin. But they are quite similar, yes!
the-magpie-effect
5 months ago
hey hey hi hello :D - hopefully ill have something interesting to come look at soon!
swiftred
6 months ago
Thank you-- Always great to see you too, joe 😄💜 I hope you're doing well. The 'stepping out' mural looks cool. You have an eye for neat things.
maxcrunch
6 months ago
I feel like I could have written parts of this myself. I have a strong flight response when I get too much attention! I want community but I don't want anybody to really see me.
swiftred
6 months ago
💜💜 I appreciate your comment, maxcrunch. It's such a tough thing, imo! Wish it didn't hurt so bad to be visible.
d60010
6 months ago
real "why are you me, i'm me" moment. i hate how easy it is to feel guilty just for being negative or depressed. it's a necessary stop on the pendulum of human emotions.
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you're welcome swift ^^ it's hard to stay optimistic some days, but i try. im glad to know some of that optimism might be rubbing off on people, because we could all use a little hope for the future these days. 😊