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8 likes
swiftred
1 year ago
I forgot to put back buttons on two of my blog posts, so figured I'd fix that. I doubt anyone is paying that close attention to me, but it feels better just to announce that I may not update the site for awhile. I'm feeling burnt out and stressed, so I'm trying to give time to let it pass.
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lizonline
1 year ago
Take your time and feel better soon! Stress is no fun, don't over-extend yourself working on your website ^_^
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miela583
1 year ago
Part of my job is customer support over the phone, and I suspect some people expect that if they are talking to someone following the golden rule, itβs their privilege to take advantage of it. Being kind is still important, I think, but I agree with your conclusion here pretty thoroughly.
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iztopher
1 year ago
Ugh, this is such a good post and such a hard lesson to learn, I feel you. My partner and I had to sit down and talk about this because I kept operating under this rule, but the way I wanted to be treated wasn't necessarily the way she did, and vice versa. I hope you can get back some of the kindness you put out into the world, even if it's expressed differently.
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phi1l1y
1 year ago
This is a wonderful entry, one I (and I'm sure countless others) really feel. I was actually talking earlier to a friend about something related; our ways of masking our autism often comes out as extreme politeness, and for me specifically, submissiveness. It is hard for me to identify sometimes that when I laugh at a stranger's joke I don't find funny, or smile and nod my agreement, etc., if that is -
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phi1l1y
1 year ago
- me wanting to be kind and acting out of my heart, or simply the way I feel I must behave. It's certainly a nuanced thing, especially when taking into consideration what you've said about how everyone loves and needs differently. Commencing my yapping now!
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swiftred
1 year ago
It made my day to hear that you both enjoyed and related to my post, and it's nice knowing I'm not the only one <3 thank you for commenting. @iztopher thank you for the well wishes!!
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swiftred
1 year ago
@phi1l1y I honestly think masking is such a bigger part of this than I give credit for. I've been trying to unmask in small ways, like trying not to be overly emotive, or compulsively smile all the time at everyone and, like you said, not laugh at unfunny things, and I realize just how deeply ingrained it is!! You're right that it's hard to separate. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts!
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I've never been so excited to write before =) Muse is such a gift. And many thank you's to the overwhelmingly kind reception of my writing
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swiftred
1 year ago
My second entry for muse is now out =) I'm letting out a deep sigh as I release this one
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owlroost
1 year ago
I'm proud of you for finding that way out and holding tight to it. It's okay to be scared of the unknown, but it says a lot about a person's strength when they continue alongside their fear. I believe in you. Sending all the best wishes- may life be an upwards arc of things getting better for you from here.
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iztopher
1 year ago
I'm proud of you for making it this far, and I'm excited for the next chapter of your life! may it give you the breathing space you need to find out how to be yourself as an adult. i definitely relate to feeling like you've lost your younger fire
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cheytopia
1 year ago
Wishing you all the peace and space to heal and grow. I'm so glad you made it to a safe place <3
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kph
1 year ago
Wow! I've got chills. You're a very clear and emotive writer. And I'm so very excited for you, with the end of this dark winter in sight. Sort of like a yule celebration--you're halfway through this long dark. :)
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swiftred
1 year ago
@owlroost that means so so much, thank you for the well wishes and kind words. I definetely viewed my fear as a weakness, so this is a beautiful, empowering reframe
swiftred
1 year ago
@kph that's very evocative imagery, thank you for the thoughtful message. It's about time, it's been night for so long! It touches me that you find my writing to be clear and emotive. I will hold that close to me for a long time <3
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tehuan
1 year ago
wow, this piece was so intense and wonderful. so proud of you for how far you've made it. it's always okay to be scared, and i'm wishing you luck as time goes on!
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swiftred
1 year ago
So many wonderful additions to the button wall. I'm so grateful for all the new, positive interactions <3
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veyther
1 year ago
YOOOOO IM THERE HI BUTTON ME (I honestly really want to make a mutals page maybe thats what ill tonight hrmm yes i think I will) ALso I listened to ctrl by sza because you said it was one of your favourite albums on your about page and it is just so damn good!!!
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swiftred
1 year ago
YOOOOOOO HI =D I can't believe you listened to it because of me :,3 I'm really glad you liked it!! It brought me so much comfort, I had it on repeat for at least four months
I would like to express my gratitude for the follow =) I love your dream closet by the way!! So stylish, and what a great idea!
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Popping in to tell you about my month x3 Very small update
Thatβs very big, though, even if the amount if text is small compared to the whole page! It sounds like things are moving in such a wonderful direction!
Woah mega-congrats (^β^)
Thank you both!! <3 <3
Yay this is great news!!! Excited to see where this transitional journey leads you!
Thank you!!
So great to see this update. Congrats on starting T! My advice: start taking progress selfies! It can sometimes be hard to see the changes when they happen slowly, but looking back at photos from a year ago makes me realize how far I've come! You got this!
Thank you!! What great advice. I've been recording my voice so far, but now I'll also be taking selfies =)