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just realising that the title i put for the homepage, "home: tapilók-bángon," automatically became the site's name here on my profile. changing that now to remove the "home" bit. i'm no good at coding!
(this is in reply to your message on my dashboard, w/c i accidentally deleted--whoops+sorry!) thank you!! right now it's just the two interviews here, but i'm working on another interview again with ka marco of the CPP--my first proper work in two years! i love your site as well btw! for the longest time i've just never written notes (ADHD &c), which is fine insofar as it's not so inimical as to make study worthless,
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pao-chingming
1 year ago
but i do think that it keeps the way i study somewhat disorganised, incoherent, and eclectic. back then i tried writing notes with my typewriter and by hand to varying--often non-optimal--results. i'm now trying to shift to typed digital notes, and seeing the stuff on your website has only reäffirmed that decision. my thanks again! warmest regards, pao
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pao-chingming
1 year ago
ps. i read your entry from the 10th inst. have you managed to find the second part of mr. greene's documentary yet? i have both parts alongside an earlier documentary on china (during the great leap, i think?), tibet, and north vietnam. i had one on cuba, too, but i've since lost it--at least i think so.
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
Both parts of One Man's China: https://archive.org/details/onemanschina Inside North Vietnam: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWnL3js6_uM Cuba Va: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvsavJ9UIXA Tibet in 1976: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4bTDTBsEAE
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mental-labour
1 year ago
I did find the second part of One Man's China on archive like they posted, but I'd be curious about that one you mentioned during the great leap forward
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pao-chingming
1 year ago
mental-labour: i'll upload the documentary either on youtube, google drive, the internet archive, or all three. i think youtube would be the most convenient, but i worry about it being taken down by the copyright-holder. "cuba va" was itself taken down a few years ago on youtube. i'll see later. regards &c &c
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pao-chingming
1 year ago
the same channel to whose uploads letslearntogether linked also has the documentary i was referring to, "China!" which was in fact released in 1965, a year before the cultural revolution and well after the great leap, so no need for me to upload it myself: https://youtu.be/kAUQTBrWuJY?si=XswFNYvYdPCC-1d6
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pao-chingming
1 year ago
one last thing: mr. greene's personal relationship with communism on its own is very interesting. it seems he started out as a sympathiser of the various anti-imperialist movements and projects around the world, including those of china, vietnam, and cuba, and through his travels and involvements matured to become a journalist and propagandiser--i use that last term positively--of the edgar snow-type.
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pao-chingming
1 year ago
in a lecture (i'll link it here if i ever find it again), he praises the cultural revolution as a sort of "self-correcting mechanism" of the chinese people, and emphasises the need for more self-corrections in the future. i don't think he ever really matured ideologically in the proletarian sense though, as right after saying that he says that the arrest of the gang of four was one such self-correction.
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pao-chingming
1 year ago
his support for capitalist restoration in china naturally earned him the ire of antirevisionist groupings elsewhere. his talk at the uni of waterloo actually became a focal point of an antirevisionist struggle in the same uni: https://www.marxists.org/history/erol/ca.firstwave/cpc-china-week.htm. not sure what became of him in the end, but he was an interesting guy all in all
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
@pao-chingming: You're welcome! The one making the copyright strikes is probably: https://www.concordmedia.org.uk/ through their YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ConcordMediaUK They still try to sell those videos on Vimeo.
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
As for Mr. Greene, it would seem that he wasn't liked by the "libertarian right" much either. Example: https://web.archive.org/web/20101102052359/http://libertarian.co.uk/lapubs/forep/forep016.pdf ...I genuinely wonder what the author of that article thinks of Operations Gladio, Condor, etc., but I digress.
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such a sick layout and everything you write & share on here is so cool n thoughtful.. love the site :]
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
I get the impression that if one strips away the veneer of esoteric satanism, they will essentially end up with a story of neo-nazi infiltration of communist groups throughout the world (like the work of an extremist WACL). Was Jared Roark a mole (doing an "insight role" in O9A terms)? https://maoistcultexposed.wordpress.com/cr-cpusa-expose/
letslearntogether
1 year ago
Whatever the case, I am not really surprised...authoritarian socialism degrades into fascism (in the political science sense of the term). There is a big difference between bringing people together so that they can genuinely help each other, and bringing everyone together to rule over them in secret. Humanity has been doing that wretched dance for thousands of years now. Time's up.
mental-labour
1 year ago
I intended the reverse, "communist" infiltration of neo-nazi esoteric satanism, but with similarly disastrous results. It's a story about would-be activists essentially doomed from the start, but I'm having fun writing it. Unlike the other things I've written that were merely intended for practice, this was the first thing I've attempted that I felt the compulsive need to write.
letslearntogether
1 year ago
Oh, that's interesting! Had me confused there for a moment. I thought you were talking about a real event. Trying to get that hyperstition working? Haha!
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mental-labour
1 year ago
Haha, yeah. This is my first attempt at a theory-fiction. But, the only thing I made up are my characters represented by the Temple of the Red Lodge, a fictitious organization. Everything else is real. :)
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
Woah, what a find! Thank you for sharing that book! I feel as if I need a deeper background in the subject matter. [1of4]
letslearntogether
1 year ago
Personally, if I were to attempt to summarize a "coherent alternative": What matters most is not the "material reality", but the knowledge that leads to its creation. As human beings, the most fundamental knowlege is that which helps us to fulfill our basic needs on a physical level (e.g.: food, clothes, shelter) and on a mental-emotional level (e.g.: autonomy, competence, relatedness). [2of4]
letslearntogether
1 year ago
The idea of economics is often based on lack, whereas the natural resources that underlie our physical needs are self-regenerative. Therefore, it is key that there be a wide distribution of DIY information on becoming self-sufficient in a manner that is sustainable, and simultaneously, the creation of equity through mutual aid. In the process, the ecological and social environments are completely repaired. [3of4]
letslearntogether
1 year ago
In my opinion, this cuts directly to "human universals" in a way that can be measured without getting stuck within various religious/political ideologies, but it requires genuine empathy to implement it. I haven't read this anywhere, but it feels like part of my purpose is to help fulfill it or die trying. [4of4]
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michaelmas
1 year ago
From one bipolar person to another, I'm so sorry. In my experience, it'll get worse before it gets better. I don't mean that as discouragement either, just the truth. People aren’t lying when they say things get better, but the thing is you won’t believe them till you live & experience it for yourself. If this is too personal & unsolicited, please feel free to delete this message. I just wanted you to know that I
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michaelmas
1 year ago
understand you at least somewhat & hope you begin to feel better soon, even if the path is arduous. Please stay strong, Vashti.
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mental-labour
1 year ago
Thank you for your encouragement, Vashti, it's appreciated! I intended this writing to be a review of Yung Lean's Agony but due to the history regarding the song I ended up using it as an outlet to talk about my own time in a psychiatric unit haha
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love the color pallet you used <3
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i think about ancient rome every single day but not the roman empire, instead i think about the third servile war and the social war
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
I think about it a lot. But it often takes the form of relating Polybius' Anacyclosis to the branches of the US government as PKD's quote of "The Empire never ended" resounds in my head. https://letslearntogether.neocities.org/scispirit/Misc/PKD/experience.html
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
No problem. And thank you for sharing those events!...They are some fascinating bits of history that evoke a lot of ideas for me...
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i work retail and its the holiday season, so obviously i havent updated in a hot minute (im alive tho)
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
I can identify with the feeling of being so burnt out from work that you literally cannot do anything other than sleep your free time away. It is especially tiresome when your place of residence cannot be a sanctuary for you to some extent; never quite at rest. But what factors can you control? How can you make a place of peace around yourself? [1of8]
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
I wouldn't mind working most jobs if it didn't also feel like I was compromising my values by contributing to a system that undermines life. So, I ended up homeless, and have been since May. The first few weeks were extremely difficult because it was a sudden change that I was unprepared for at the time. Hypothetically speaking, if you had no steady source of income, how would you survive? [2of8]
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
Some immediate concerns of mine were getting enough water throughout the triple-digit heat of the day, and staying warm enough as the temperatures dropped dramatically at night. Thankfully, the park had water fountains and one of the park workers left behind a roll of trash bags that worked decently enough as a blanket until I could get my jacket. [3of8]
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
The next concern was finding a spot to sleep without being harassed. Since I don't have a car, I tried using everything as a bed. Boulders at the top of a hill, a patch of dirt on the side of the library, a picnic table on the outskirts of the park, a ditch behind the movie theater, and so on. Saving up enough money to get a cheap tent was a turning point. [4of8]
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
The rain was especially painful. I learned how to waterproof my tent by draping a plastic drop cloth over the top of it and clipping that to a tarp wrapped around the bottom of it, so that water rolls away from it instead of pooling underneath it. [5of8]
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
The final concern was finding food and toiletries. I do not beg and I am not on welfare, so I try to make things stretch as much as possible. Generic cans of beans and packages of baby wipes are very helpful. I try to keep clean and keep to myself as much as possible. It can be tricky striking a balance when interacting with other people who are homeless. [6of8]
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
I try to share what I can, but I am also cautious as sometimes people can be vicious when they are desperate. A couple of things have stood out to me during all of this: The kindness of people that I both know and don't know. How free I feel, despite not having a lot of physical things. [7of8]
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letslearntogether
1 year ago
I am certain the world will change for the better, and I spend the vast majority of my time dwelling on what exactly that would entail...In all honesty, your journals often draw stuff out of me that I would probably never talk about anywhere else. I genuinely hope that my comments help you find strength and hope in some small way. Take care. [8of8]
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mental-labour
1 year ago
I'm glad my writing was able to help you talk about things you normally don't share, I thank you for your thoughtful comments. Stay safe out there. :)
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also: "tapilók" means to trip or fall down in a particularly clumsy way; "bángon" means to arise. the compound "tapilók-bángon" thus means something "slip and get back up," which i think suits me, an autistic ADHD'er, well. i'll add this explanation to the home page in a bit.