Neocities allows anyone to create a free web site to express themselves. Want to create your own awesome site? Join us!
write in notes app on phone without any formatting and then go back and add it once your pc is chargable again. good luck!!
ok this is gonna seem like it's in response to this journal but it's not it's just a synchronicity I've been thinking about it all day. But I wanted to tell u that ur recent posts inspired me to start writing (and SHARING) fanfic again for the first time in I'm pretty sure more than a decade and I want to say THANK U for that :)))
also its genuinely wild to me how often I'll be having vague thoughts that I can't be bothered to sit down and externalise in a coherent manner and then within a day or so you'll drop a post that is those same thoughts. Mind blown on a weekly basis fr
my impression of you is that you are a very thoughtful/interesting/sincere/kind person + find your ability to rationally self-analyze very impressive
re: fanfiction, YAYYY!! I'm SO happy to hear that 😊 Talk about synchronicity, I only just started posting after a 9-10yr writing-block and once I got past the fear of starting, it's been such a gift. I hope the writing and sharing proves a good experience for you too. Thank you lots for telling me that.
And to be fair, I did read your entry yesterday where you discuss being percieved, but it didn't feel prudent to tag it. Thank you, too, for sharing your impression of me. I'm highly, highly grateful and appreciative :,3 thank you!! Forever plagued with the introspection bug, and I'm glad what I barf out is coherent 😁💜
I love your blog; here, at least, you seem very thoughtful and sincere, and not afraid to talk about some very personal stuff. Plus, your "noticing" page is truly lovely.
relatedly: occasionally when i spot someone saying something sweet about me on disc or whatnot i'll screenshot and save that ... something heartwarming about that type stuff
but also sometimes i lowkey forget in general my existence Actually Impacts people in whatever way so even positive reminders of it feel a little humbling (heartwarmingly) - but i guess this might also make it easier for me to brush off some ppl's negative views about Me Existing for what its worth? if that makes sense......
@sneekrealm it absolutely makes sense, yes. I’ve been meaning to sort of archive the kind comments I’ve received here and try to remember to look at them and just let it sink in. I also often feel I don't make an impact even despite evidence otherwise, and for me, I sorta suffer from a lack of ‘Existence permanence,’ like, I assume I disappear from people’s minds
i love your blog posts and your noticing page. they always have something new for me to think about that i never would have come up with myself. your noticing page has made me more aware of my own surroundings (i "notice" more now). i don't always reply because my brain can't usually give me the right words, but i think about you and your site often.
in terms of the "not knowing how to communicate to someone in a normal way" my opinion is like. why does it matter to you if it's the normal way or not (also i swear i tried to post this before but it got deleted, or maybe my wifi just died idk)
I read "normal" in this context as "socially acceptable + therefore unlikely to be misread and accidentally offend/repulse"
I’m struggling to pinpoint what you’re referring to specifically @niicespiice, but yes, what @ocrevol said, like, fuck being normal but also, I still worry about social alienation and repulsion because I am really affected by that. It’s hard to fully unmask, though I continue to try.
very relatable about the "i COULD rest but i don't want to" thing. like people say stuff like "take a break when you want." i hate that, they don't understand at all. because if i let myself at the very least have excuses like that, i'll never do anything. i'd rather work until i'm drained and forcibly must rest, that's probably the best option
Lol, yes same 😭😭. I also hate when people tell me to take a break. If I took a break whenever I was tired, it’d be 90% breaks 😐
i think it's a very "not mentally ill" take to have? because they don't understand mentally ill people they assume we're exactly like them, even though our tolerance is FAR FAR lower. so because of that they go "take a break when you want" and it's like. yeah. i do that and i get called "lazy" or "wasting my life" so what do you guys want 😭
I don't mind if you screenshot, I do remember where I saw it but would take some digging to find the actual post
(continuing the thread here) tbh I'm probably being a lil too mean re: Pete Walker I think he's a good guy with some good advice but the book has got some triggering elements for sure + yeah very therapy focused, which has not er been very helpful for me anecdotally either
Ah, understood! And thank you for commenting on this, by the way :) I've been delighted, and your voice is very much valued
resonates with me soooo muchhhhh. i often feel "too explicit" for the most of online spaces. like there's a "bourdary" of negativity i can talk about. i mean, on personal pages and accounts. even if i put tw, i still feel...... strange and anxious. THANK YOU for writing this
@mustikas I write this as much as a persuasion to myself as well. I still get freaked out sharing, feeling like I’m not allowed to be “too” mentally ill in a public space (online) even though it is my personal website, mirroring what you said.
Had a lot of fun reading through your word collection and testing how they felt spoken.
My goal in life is to be everyone's cool lesbian auntie (something something japanese twitter)
Also, one of the things I had to really teach myself when i was planning my site was: if I don't write about me, who will?
Thank you, Tina :) I'm going to remember that for the future. You've eased my mind some.
re:44 reminds me of a post I saw the other day that said "sick people should have a right to congregate and discuss our illness without worrying about doing it in a way that doesn't upset the healthy people, it shouldn't be shameful or offensive to be visibly ill""
also i lol'd at the surviving the thriving reference man I was told to read that book a few months ago and while it was eye opening in some regards it was exceptionally unhelpful in others and I found myself overall wishing I had skipped it and read psychomagic instead
@ocrevol I really enjoy the quote you shared and I agree with it wholeheartedly. I feel like I've been hurting lately, not entirely feeling there's an acceptable place to be visibly ill-- but that may be more self-imposed than anything, I'm not sure though.
And, hah, I forgot that was the title of the book. I have it on a shelf and wanted to get back to it, actually. I feel "going from surviving to thriving" has become a sort of colloquial phrase and is expected of us, otherwise we're doing life wrong. I did find Pete Walker's '13 Steps for Managing Flashbacks' on his website to be insightful, so I hope to find good stuff in the book. Not in the mood to read it rn tho
art music videogames programming games anime personal food writing cats blog gaming movies books photography comics fashion design animation horror game furry coding technology portfolio manga drawing programacion ocs education poetry cute html sports fun history musica animals film philosophy programing reading web literature kpop science arte tech roblox politics computers minecraft travel school retro nature youtube videogame gamedev pokemon cartoons 2000s memes illustration video internet videojuegos fantasy blogging diary dogs life comic random videos test linux gardening webcomic idk queer news love nostalgia fanfiction pink kawaii fandom worldbuilding business health stuff cars 90s silly emo arg y2k tv oc vocaloid aesthetic journal learning css fiction cooking math space ai scifi website media graphics software stories homestuck lgbt football marketing cat commissions crafts sanrio 3d culture goth javascript sport cutecore punk pixelart funny films digitalart painting etc archive artist characters religion metal trans dnd development lgbtq entertainment cool scene fanart arts graphicdesign code webcomics streaming diy sonic me comida rpg webcore dance comedy psychology story webdesign educacion roleplay gay informatica hacking indie program computer cinema plants crochet electronics cyberpunk weird friends aboutme ttrpg vaporwave soccer oldweb engineering it weirdcore reviews editing basketball baking languages guitar makeup originalcharacters html5 creativity about journaling zines rock social clothes discord project community fnaf aesthetics lifestyle vtuber everything series information pets testing nintendo study spirituality photos shows language sewing storytelling mlp shop beauty movie clothing architecture biology money blogs magic experimental japan crypto radio nothing resume digital lain undertale tecnologia vintage blinkies furries shopping fitness thoughts ghchs cosplay futbol ttrpgs japanese autism coffee chat physics occult info other vr carrd creative book bugs wip websites witchcraft birds lore system dolls profile research cybersecurity splatoon television webdevelopment site apps finance gamedevelopment python alternative band flowers events juegos astronomy transgender free linguistics deltarune hobbies rap meme dreams projects pixels fortnite deportes singing toys photo work anything touhou fish windows robots developer fanfic genshin personalwebsite security aliens fansite fnf vampires knitting mentalhealth mathematics dog pizza theatre wiki app online puzzle links family lol humor sleep data all a fandoms dragons twitch characterdesign roleplaying breakcore interactive drawings interests zonelets astrology adventure english twine animations modding gamedesign gifs gallery ffxiv android scenecore no skateboarding hobby stamps mystery cartoon bio teaching collecting crafting rp privacy tf2 pixel home gothic tvshows death noise sleeping hiking tarot coquette zine medicine awesome resources dreamcore visualnovels graphic hiphop shrine objectshows gyaru journalism audio osc danganronpa deporte essays chess swag poems rpgs dancing robotics jfashion podcast meow communism bitcoin puzzles romance lolita car law plushies things moda computing recipes misc mario progamming none tcc gym socialmedia creepypasta doom electronic girls frutigeraero ecommerce blender java christianity boardgames production scratch anarchism omori paranormal utau mythology pictures vent intro indiegames clowns educational myself wrestling student flash old dark activism images epic ocean stars hellokitty 80s pc webdev bfdi help lesbian piano js spanish computerscience yaoi truecrime tumblr geography estudiante running cafe novels otherkin traveling feminism god vkei gatos dev musicals enstars travelling plurality programas unblocked realestate tabletop southpark translation store introduction transformers creepy vtubers 3dmodeling trains college maths environment jewelry baseball curso retrogaming monsters bunnies event forum chemistry homepage jpop warriorcats programar marvel closedspecies services lego filmmaking brasil foods starwars pastel podcasts hardware multimedia shoes search bts outdoors yoga techno yes tools persona opensource cyber whatever popculture weed escuela jazz collection shitposting kidcore grunge kirby turismo craft construction designing style gamer dinosaurs weather yuri therian insects sharks stickers maps sound fotografia cricket mcr videoediting args songs novel cryptocurrency animes collage horses angels freedom tourism pjsk acting restaurant vhs petz peliculas learn miriadax cine drugs depression surrealism blockchain text people birthday species tea salud conspiracy economics egl did service informacion socialism analysis homework animanga css3 mobile academic digitalmarketing ecology lgbtqia medical world furniture studying cv videography fishing animales hockey hi surreal trading ideas dj general tutorials jesus skating foss artwork kandi volleyball modeling rats supernatural miku ropa edm sciencefiction truth pop rpgmaker alterhuman programmer theater libros frogs bsd drama racing swimming estudio bible wedding practice halloween guns twitter networking plural healthcare author google cultura jogos scary class water historia cryptids vlog videogaming tattoos ambient cleaning erotica library skincare jjba brazil 3dprinting bl chatting society noticias glitch genshinimpact hair ghosts company conlang anarchy cs prompts server live soft women neocities schoolproject review academia chill ux frontend mods university tennis cycling tareas nerd bot alt knowledge hardcore datascience visualnovel lostmedia christian tic aviation sculpture blue church startrek kids shitpost future bikes rhythmgames tiktok crime desarrollo programa friendship tecnology onepiece viajes retrogames synthesizers advertising shrines quotes bands training revival anthropology character evangelion ultrakill php sociology jobs neopets sustainability graffiti theology theory apple analog green archives dating idols cozy instagram finalfantasy camping halflife entretenimiento tarea blood batman disney creation rainbow house photoshop something literatura silliness creatures programs new otaku webseries industrial ar download colors designer index play chaos animal cult visualkei esoteric anthro spooky performance hack desing communication magick illustrations pinterest kin conlangs sites mylittlepony french trabajo building csgo meditation tokipona articles writer girly miscellaneous cards joke 3dart draw zelda garden jokes disability facts youtuber tattoo eating liminal vampire analoghorror shoegaze exercise webring vrchat notes paganism 4chan animalcrossing yugioh rambling medieval interactivefiction sketching repair gacha rants overwatch club developing os musicproduction sims vtubing party satire hotel content programacao mushrooms vegan cheese lolitafashion ios originalcharacter generator gender voiceacting map retrocomputing pruebas beer archival superheroes folklore dc unblockedgames magazine unix ceramics kink tokusatsu rave mtg marxism doodles stupid tips commission black pet practicas happy selfship agriculture scp military talking self chiptune geocities garfield time quiz vinyl digimon embroidery nft statistics mecha purple gis proyecto ranfren underground conlanging f1 educativo geek ciencia oldroblox bass men musician electronica spiritual netflix studio dungeonsanddragons riddle academico sonicthehedgehog private hosting shit handmade mcyt label artes wow tutorial travels e secret words shifting farming calculator doctorwho creativewriting ui projectsekai network solarpunk adhd spiderman guide writting trinkets streamer crd lofi original tamagotchi archiving city motorcycles cringe videgames spongebob professional steam cities poop directory nails randomstuff minimalism beginner hyperpop genealogy biography fightinggames products parody
youre so welcome! like i said, i love your noticing page