Neocities

5 months ago

someone needs to examine the psychology behind getting the perfect grade you worked really hard for and immediately feeling empty

11 likes

angelogistics 5 months ago

this was probably a rhetorical question but something something basing your worth on a grade instead of pursuing knowledge or some other framework might be why it feels like nothing even after you've achieved the goal?

2 likes

projectc190 5 months ago

i dont think its that cut and dry and i also don't think the two are mutually exclusive

1 like

angelogistics 5 months ago

oh yah fs, just thought it might be part of the problem- i've never really bought into grades so it's hard for me to relate to the sentiment also, sorry if it was callous! ^_^;7

1 like

projectc190 5 months ago

oh okay lol, thanks for the input and no worries. personally i do love what i'm studying (why else would i learn more on my own time?) i just also highk got academic brainworms. its difficult sometimes to channel that passion when there's so much being imposed on you whether by urself or others (profs, family expectations)T_T

2 likes

letslearntogether 5 months ago

"Post-Achievement Depression" [*see also "Arrival Fallacy"]

2 likes

letslearntogether 5 months ago

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-health-behaviors/202405/post-achievement-depression-overcoming-the-slump https://imperfectspirituality.com/feeling-empty-after-accomplishment-unraveling-the-paradox/

1 like

ryanpeikou updated ryanpeikou

6 months ago

ryanpeikou

projectc190 updated project c190

6 months ago

10 likes

tsumugsfish 6 months ago

fit is incredibly fire

3 likes

juneish 6 months ago

are you selling that shirt

1 like

projectc190 6 months ago

@tsumugsfish thanks LOL

1 like

projectc190 6 months ago

@juneish absolutely not but u can get one for yourself at the computer history museum B)

projectc190 meowlecules

6 months ago

i had my site profile disabled for awhile so i wasnt even sure if my comments would show up but i love ur site and you seem cool : D keep being you.

2 likes

meowlecules 6 months ago

ahh thank you! that really means a lot <3

1 like

projectc190

6 months ago

have been obsessively reading and revising book reviews for neocities lately instead of errhh locking in for end of semester

7 likes

projectc190 updated project c190

6 months ago

12 likes

projectc190

6 months ago

not to survey for interest in something i am going to do regardless but would anybody be interested in articles explaining semi-niche compsci concepts to people with no cs background?

13 likes

projectc190 6 months ago

and more importantly would anyone with little to no cs background like to proofread

1 like

cheytopia 6 months ago

I volunteer! I know next to nothing but I am compsi-curious.

3 likes

projectc190 6 months ago

hell yeah! now..i dont think i will have one of my articles done soon, but, after finals in a few weeks..

cheytopia 6 months ago

Take your time :)

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sanguineroyal 6 months ago

i’d love them :)

1 like

projectc190 updated project c190

6 months ago

19 likes

swiftred 6 months ago

Can relate to your latest entry (4/7)

3 likes

angelogistics 6 months ago

had similar struggles to your latest entry, got back into dance/ theater (lion dance) in college and it helped a lot! movement and activity comes in different forms, we all pick things up at different times in our lives :o) maybe go spin some pottery or grab flowers from a walk and press them in books or something <3 its all valid

2 likes

projectc190 birdwrongs

7 months ago

love your response to the anon linked at the end of your Serious Note! thank you for offering such clear and sobering perspectives

2 likes

projectc190 updated project c190

7 months ago

ryanpeikou updated ryanpeikou

7 months ago

2 likes

projectc190 batqualia

7 months ago

out of the books you've read, do you have any recs?

1 like

batqualia 7 months ago

hmm it;s a pretty random assortment to pull recs from but i always find myself coming back to stolen focus in conversation as a primer of social media and technology today. thats the sort of book that i see get excerpted in ppls substacks and thinkpieces esp as people at large are starting to get more critical of techs role in society and culture. but that might be a bit on-the-nose for an indie web denizen

1 like

batqualia 7 months ago

other similar nonfiction pulls that stuck w/ me: the immortal life of henrietta lacks is a really powerful story ab biomedical science and scientific racism.. anyone familiar w/ HeLa cells or academia at all shoudl read it imo. four thousand weeks is Okay-- good self=help book for ppl cynical about self help/time management books

1 like

batqualia 7 months ago

re; novels (sloppily including both auto-fiction and fiction here...) i really liked american bulk, bestiary, in the dream house, and wound. i found all of those to be really powerful in their own ways

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projectc190 7 months ago

@batqualia thats crazy bc i actually just finished reading stolen focus today. your other suggestions sound pretty interesting as well; i'll be sure to check them out if i can!

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sugarfantasies projectc190

7 months ago

ahh!! 你好!1 我也是中國人哈哈!! 我名字是潔誠 :p

2 likes

projectc190 7 months ago

嗨潔誠（这是繁体文吗？不好意思我没怎么学过），很高兴认识你：）我其实更认为自己是“华人”而不是“中国人”，但我知道你是什么意思。我看你的网站挺熟悉，好像在browse page曾经看到过哈哈

1 like

projectc190 updated project c190

7 months ago

10 likes

dopestar projectc190

7 months ago

oi there, i really like your site! i know it's the smallest thing ever, but your random fact line on the about page is really amusing and i love that idea. awesome site!

3 likes

projectc190 7 months ago

i uuh.. i think that was supposed to be for me

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projectc190 7 months ago

anyways, i'm glad you like my site : D and if you like the random facts youre totally free to use that idea for your site as well

2 likes

toastydezii 7 months ago

AHH SO SORRY IT WAS SO SORRY 190!!!!!

1 like

projectc190 7 months ago

no worries lol

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projectc190 dopestar

7 months ago

i love your site! neither quick nor brown is such a clever album name and the tunes are groovy too

3 likes

dopestar 7 months ago

omg tysm!! i'm still proud of the name to this day haha. glad you like the tunes! ♡

3 likes

projectc190 updated project c190

7 months ago

9 likes

badgraph1csghost 7 months ago

it seems like the entire world is treating science as a waste of money anymore. "more security, better army, big police forces, take the money from science, they're all a bunch of freeloaders anyway." it's really sad.

2 likes

projectc190 7 months ago

i think it's some sort of international ripple effect after trump got elected. it's crazy that if u say "science = woke and woke = bad" enough times people start believing it lmfao

4 likes

sanguineroyal 7 months ago

I'm so sorry-- I know what it's like to lose research opportunities for shitty bureaucratic reasons. I am holding your hand. There will always be another door that opens when one is slammed shut.

3 likes

letslearntogether 7 months ago

I hope it is resolved smoothly and you get to rest peacefully! Ethical and open science into fundamental human needs will always be priceless, but the ivory towers built by fleecing the tuition and research of their students will eventually fall...as will the government and corporate behemoths that they prop up...

2 likes

letslearntogether 7 months ago

...Oh gosh, tone is not conveyed well through text 😂...I do not say that last half with a devilish glint in my eye, lusting after their downfall. I say it with a genuine desire that they be peacefully transformed into something that enriches life for everyone.

2 likes

projectc190 7 months ago

thank you for the concern everyone :') i just updated ; the situation has since been resolved thankfully

1 like

ryanpeikou updated ryanpeikou

7 months ago

ryanpeikou

1 like

projectc190 updated project c190

7 months ago

about.html

9 likes

projectc190

7 months ago

crazy how we've just been living in a technological dystopia since the 2010s

14 likes

badgraph1csghost 7 months ago

the reaction to edward snowden's leak was the most deafening display of de-evolution i've ever seen: first everyone freaks out "oh no they're monitoring everything what'll we do?!" then alarm fatigue set in and now people are like "okay boomer, let's get you back to the home".

7 likes

palmistshouse 7 months ago

Not to sound pessimistic but I think we've been living in a technological dystopia ever since the introduction of computers into the family home.

3 likes

oldkidz-newblockz 7 months ago

yeah, bg1g - it went from "ah, shit", to "so what tel. companies (=feds) has in job (and we pay them for)"

2 likes

projectc190 7 months ago

@palmistshouse i wouldn't say it is inherent to consumer technology but that it definitely saw a turn for the worse since companies found out how to profit off of mass surveillance

3 likes

letslearntogether 7 months ago

@projectc190 - Why 2010 though? @palmistshouse - David Burnham, the investigative journalist, would have probably agreed: https://youtu.be/3H-Y-D3-j-M?si=4KX04-jONTUcQHBN&t=487 As @badgraph1csghost and @oldkidz-newblockz point out, it seems to have dramatically increased since then: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9-3K3rkPRE

2 likes

letslearntogether 7 months ago

After the so-called "Patriot Act", things like "Project Shamrock" grew exponentially. The "PRISM program" showed that most companies have their own "Room 641A" and feed data to the UDC in Bluffdale so that alphabet orgs can train "AI" and do "war game simulations": https://www.theregister.com/2007/06/23/sentient_worlds/ "Military intelligence" then trickles down to the "police state" through "fusion centers".

1 like

letslearntogether 7 months ago

But we can go back further. Most of "Silicon Valley" grew out of miltary research: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTC_RxWN_xo And many of the earliest computers were developed specifically for military applications...Perhaps one of the most egregious examples was their use in the automation of genocide done during WWII: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IBM_and_the_Holocaust

1 like

letslearntogether 7 months ago

However, that is still done through "information warfare": https://web.archive.org/web/20250220150818/https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/15/technology/myanmar-facebook-genocide.html Or carried out "by proxy", like with "stochastic terrorism" spread through "memetic warfare": https://www.start.umd.edu/news/new-zealand-terrorists-manifesto-look-some-key-narratives-beliefs-and-tropes

1 like

letslearntogether 7 months ago

The "average joe" may not realize how prevalent all of that might be. Hypothetical Exampe: The "terminally online" on an anonymous imageboard are tricked into doing "OSINT"...But when they start uncovering the *real* darkness through their "weaponized autism", will that corruption get it shutdown by "flaming" it with CSAM and painting their findings as a nonsensical "conspiracy theory"?

1 like

letslearntogether 7 months ago

Currently, "e/acc" is aiming for the "technological singularity", but what exactly is humanity working towards? There is danger in computers becoming idols for worshiping the "Solid State Entity" https://web.archive.org/web/20241009072404/https://seankerrigan.com/john-c-lilly-and-the-solid-state-entity/ So, don't be corralled into a Brave New World-like "smart city" or help make a "world in chains scenario".

1 like

letslearntogether 7 months ago

All of that might sound incredibly depressing or scary, but don't worry. None of it will ever succeed. There is an Intelligence infinitely greater than the "artificial" and it communicates with us directly through genuine virtue and kindness. Sincerely strive to hear it by tuning out all of the "noise". 💜

2 likes

projectc190 7 months ago

@letslearntogether i mentioned the 2010s because of significant incidents i know of, such as the 2012 google street view fcc investigation, but thats not to say that similar indications of tech dystopia didn't happen earlier than that

1 like

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