Neocities allows anyone to create a free web site to express themselves. Want to create your own awesome site? Join us!
niicespiice
10 months ago
very relatable about the "i COULD rest but i don't want to" thing. like people say stuff like "take a break when you want." i hate that, they don't understand at all. because if i let myself at the very least have excuses like that, i'll never do anything. i'd rather work until i'm drained and forcibly must rest, that's probably the best option
swiftred
10 months ago
Lol, yes same 😭😭. I also hate when people tell me to take a break. If I took a break whenever I was tired, it’d be 90% breaks 😐
niicespiice
10 months ago
i think it's a very "not mentally ill" take to have? because they don't understand mentally ill people they assume we're exactly like them, even though our tolerance is FAR FAR lower. so because of that they go "take a break when you want" and it's like. yeah. i do that and i get called "lazy" or "wasting my life" so what do you guys want 😭
ocrevol
10 months ago
I don't mind if you screenshot, I do remember where I saw it but would take some digging to find the actual post
ocrevol
10 months ago
(continuing the thread here) tbh I'm probably being a lil too mean re: Pete Walker I think he's a good guy with some good advice but the book has got some triggering elements for sure + yeah very therapy focused, which has not er been very helpful for me anecdotally either
swiftred
10 months ago
Ah, understood! And thank you for commenting on this, by the way :) I've been delighted, and your voice is very much valued
mustikas
10 months ago
resonates with me soooo muchhhhh. i often feel "too explicit" for the most of online spaces. like there's a "bourdary" of negativity i can talk about. i mean, on personal pages and accounts. even if i put tw, i still feel...... strange and anxious. THANK YOU for writing this
swiftred
10 months ago
@mustikas I write this as much as a persuasion to myself as well. I still get freaked out sharing, feeling like I’m not allowed to be “too” mentally ill in a public space (online) even though it is my personal website, mirroring what you said.
vesperings
10 months ago
Had a lot of fun reading through your word collection and testing how they felt spoken.
badgraph1csghost
10 months ago
My goal in life is to be everyone's cool lesbian auntie (something something japanese twitter)
badgraph1csghost
10 months ago
Also, one of the things I had to really teach myself when i was planning my site was: if I don't write about me, who will?
swiftred
10 months ago
Thank you, Tina :) I'm going to remember that for the future. You've eased my mind some.
ocrevol
10 months ago
re:44 reminds me of a post I saw the other day that said "sick people should have a right to congregate and discuss our illness without worrying about doing it in a way that doesn't upset the healthy people, it shouldn't be shameful or offensive to be visibly ill""
ocrevol
10 months ago
also i lol'd at the surviving the thriving reference man I was told to read that book a few months ago and while it was eye opening in some regards it was exceptionally unhelpful in others and I found myself overall wishing I had skipped it and read psychomagic instead
swiftred
10 months ago
@ocrevol I really enjoy the quote you shared and I agree with it wholeheartedly. I feel like I've been hurting lately, not entirely feeling there's an acceptable place to be visibly ill-- but that may be more self-imposed than anything, I'm not sure though.
swiftred
10 months ago
And, hah, I forgot that was the title of the book. I have it on a shelf and wanted to get back to it, actually. I feel "going from surviving to thriving" has become a sort of colloquial phrase and is expected of us, otherwise we're doing life wrong. I did find Pete Walker's '13 Steps for Managing Flashbacks' on his website to be insightful, so I hope to find good stuff in the book. Not in the mood to read it rn tho
swiftred
10 months ago
New page for Persona 3 Reload screenshots, rawr. Take a look at it if you're cool ;3
niicespiice
10 months ago
i wanna play this game so badly but i dont know where to find it. thats not like reload which costs a billion dollars
niicespiice
10 months ago
35: perhaps the world is just a forest. sometimes there is a gap where the light comes through. sometimes there are so many trees you cannot see anything. but there is no exit from the forest like people proclaim. there's just different ways to process it (COUGH COUGH AVE MUJICA COUGH COUGH sorry hyperfixation got me there)
inkcaps
10 months ago
WOW the art for the Death Note inspired deck is so cool!! And not gonna lie, I'm really tempted by that oracle deck too, it looks so fun!
swiftred
10 months ago
Right?? I was really digging that artist's work, then I saw that Death Note deck in their shop! The oracle deck is cute, appeals to the inner child (and girlhood imo), if you subscribe to that sort of thinking. Been meaning to write a description for each deck, that one included. Haven't gotten much use out of it yet. It's almost too positive for me, lol.
art music videogames programming games anime food personal writing cats blog movies books gaming fashion photography comics design animation horror game drawing coding arte manga portfolio furry reading ocs poetry cute technology musica kpop history education animals film fun literature roblox programacion philosophy sports html nature science programing tech videogame travel politics minecraft web gamedev love retro life school videojuegos youtube computers cartoons pokemon 2000s blogging diary video illustration fantasy pink dogs random idk comic gardening internet videos memes linux oc cooking ai y2k queer nostalgia kawaii test arg tv webcomic fandom aesthetic journal crafts worldbuilding cars emo business fanfiction news media vocaloid learning films health stuff silly space math fiction website stories cutecore 90s culture scifi arts etc cat painting journaling football baking graphics punk homestuck crochet css 3d goth marketing software lgbt cinema commissions pixelart sanrio program psychology sport archive diy artist dance digitalart me dnd shows series makeup comida characters trans metal religion creativity funny graphicdesign lgbtq editing lifestyle indie cool entertainment aboutme fanart streaming friends rpg clothes code sonic development plants scene javascript story webcomics guitar roleplay comedy languages electronics rock everything sewing ttrpg zines weird community engineering study webcore aesthetics reviews gay hacking cyberpunk beauty webdesign educacion basketball fnaf it computer originalcharacters soccer social photos vtuber vintage informatica weirdcore spirituality oldweb deltarune discord pets blogs project architecture storytelling vaporwave coffee thoughts shop flowers movie information biology clothing hobbies language undertale shopping japan nintendo about mlp lore magic testing cosplay creative fitness book ttrpgs chat radio fandoms experimental digital html5 crypto money physics nothing blinkies alternative websites astronomy info singing birds cybersecurity site bugs tecnologia japanese juegos furries wip anything research witchcraft occult autism band crafting other personalwebsite finance theatre tvshows gamedevelopment projects sleep sleeping moda profile television dolls resume futbol lain events vr work knitting all interests yaoi vampires system photo linguistics apps genshin fish gatos dreams transgender astrology splatoon wiki webdevelopment ghchs python romance meme collecting free poems puzzle rap fanfic toys mentalhealth aliens frutigeraero developer dancing app carrd windows animations visualnovels drawings pixels family cartoon coquette robots animes gothic stamps english gym tarot dog essays marvel bio fortnite skateboarding hiking touhou deportes intro medicine a modding gamedesign humor pizza interactive chess osc journalism links security teaching mystery online dragons characterdesign mathematics puzzles adventure gyaru fnf roleplaying gallery data hobby zine no popculture creepypasta rp yuri fansite resources birthday mythology objectshows lol musicals jfashion ocean zonelets pixel blender traveling vkei gifs twitch myself dreamcore law home meow piano audio jogos introduction peliculas novels ffxiv breakcore tf2 libros dark amor hiphop noise recipes pjsk scenecore death style studying stars bfdi privacy graphic communism podcast rpgs shrine progamming indiegames paranormal danganronpa swag plushies activism robotics ecommerce none running wrestling hellokitty twine production car socialmedia spanish pictures christianity android bunnies awesome omori foods boardgames utau craft pinterest filmmaking educational jewelry lesbian cine things songs student travelling geography electronic outdoors volleyball anarchism designing lolita god dev deporte misc vent scratch 3dmodeling grunge girls maths feminism brasil webdev blue sharks unblocked collage 80s store environment clowns bl old dinosaurs mario realestate bitcoin transformers computing tools jpop pc vtubers doom stickers help college novel images jazz starwars acting fotografia flash jesus tea alt bts construction trains creepy chemistry cafe yoga computerscience services theater baseball event tumblr java args mcr plurality cyber translation programar collection manhwa epic pastel warriorcats lego whatever multimedia vlog horses escuela videoediting retrogaming pop programmer cozy persona whimsy southpark f1 videography supernatural trading weed skating yes historia therian podcasts draw gamer hardware tabletop weather programas tiktok tcc js dj forum miku techno monsters truecrime literatura medical insects dc drama people girly opensource socialism economics bsd shoes otherkin skincare cricket ecology green kandi swimming lgbtqia homepage ropa sound maps 3dprinting angels restaurant filmes nerd tattoos surrealism estudiante hi search freedom learn modeling vhs enstars salud trinkets chatting kirby ideas edm cleaning turismo animales digitalmarketing world text animanga kidcore healthcare bible artwork curso kdrama fishing analysis petz tourism halloween hockey cultura author sociology service closedspecies conspiracy racing shitposting sculpture tennis academia depression brazil videogaming hardcore chill sketching cv livros bands did thrifting egl homework surreal furniture women friendship drugs programa artes library knowledge wedding colors analog rats frogs networking scary general eating christian plural visualnovel writting creation hair blockchain ambient mobile purple alterhuman programacao sciencefiction aviation university retrogames sites academic graffiti genshinimpact anarchy gacha tutorials wellness foss mods society practice soft ux truth sustainability cryptocurrency server mangas ghosts rpgmaker quotes glitch informacion medieval water webseries estudio theology company species 3dart garden batman anthropology cryptids writer cycling erotica schoolproject onepiece otaku review programs tattoo forsaken rants nails magazine harrypotter talking bot yapping jjba esoteric guns superheroes ceramics building character theory archives miriadax conlang class crocheting bikes live concerts kids illustrations notes css3 google noticias camping analoghorror startrek french neocities performance shrines vampire cs revival meditation instagram church unblockedgames disney future creating articles liminal chaos animal os play twitter kdramas blood industrial handmade cards crime spiderman lostmedia shitpost scrapbooking synthesizers musicproduction rhythmgames house content selfship decor seals training evangelion apple shoegaze advertising idols voiceacting vida folklore terror ultrakill dating originalcharacter viajes visualkei crk communication youtuber frontend new interactivefiction party vlogs embroidery mylittlepony sanat disability sims exercise vrchat prompts doodles repair animalcrossing zelda satire jobs poesia marxism calculator desing vinyl paganism neopets magick commission designer quiz datascience finalfantasy mtg entretenimiento joke silliness animating creativewriting facts spooky something vtubing islam rambling geek creatures programmation shifting tareas adhd sweets ia black tarea halflife tecnology vegan yumeship overwatch developing rainbow beach cult jokes military miscellaneous hack musics cheese anthro more spiritual download daily conlangs webring bass underground photoshop kink songwriting programm scp hetalia ranfren shoujo randomstuff fanfics vibes happy hotel motorcycles zombies studies mha ar tamagotchi oldinternet club todo dandysworld self ui arcane desarrollo glitter private mushrooms lofi trabajo musician jeux pet beginner tips yugioh agriculture tic productivity mecha doctorwho christmas archival collections tokusatsu stem cities 1 map gender videgames php dungeonsanddragons tokipona secret gossip projectsekai musique edits streamer warhammer drinks rave faith blackmetal ciencia
ok this is gonna seem like it's in response to this journal but it's not it's just a synchronicity I've been thinking about it all day. But I wanted to tell u that ur recent posts inspired me to start writing (and SHARING) fanfic again for the first time in I'm pretty sure more than a decade and I want to say THANK U for that :)))
also its genuinely wild to me how often I'll be having vague thoughts that I can't be bothered to sit down and externalise in a coherent manner and then within a day or so you'll drop a post that is those same thoughts. Mind blown on a weekly basis fr
my impression of you is that you are a very thoughtful/interesting/sincere/kind person + find your ability to rationally self-analyze very impressive
re: fanfiction, YAYYY!! I'm SO happy to hear that 😊 Talk about synchronicity, I only just started posting after a 9-10yr writing-block and once I got past the fear of starting, it's been such a gift. I hope the writing and sharing proves a good experience for you too. Thank you lots for telling me that.
And to be fair, I did read your entry yesterday where you discuss being percieved, but it didn't feel prudent to tag it. Thank you, too, for sharing your impression of me. I'm highly, highly grateful and appreciative :,3 thank you!! Forever plagued with the introspection bug, and I'm glad what I barf out is coherent 😁💜
I love your blog; here, at least, you seem very thoughtful and sincere, and not afraid to talk about some very personal stuff. Plus, your "noticing" page is truly lovely.
relatedly: occasionally when i spot someone saying something sweet about me on disc or whatnot i'll screenshot and save that ... something heartwarming about that type stuff
but also sometimes i lowkey forget in general my existence Actually Impacts people in whatever way so even positive reminders of it feel a little humbling (heartwarmingly) - but i guess this might also make it easier for me to brush off some ppl's negative views about Me Existing for what its worth? if that makes sense......
@miela583 this means more than you know, thank you :,)
@sneekrealm it absolutely makes sense, yes. I’ve been meaning to sort of archive the kind comments I’ve received here and try to remember to look at them and just let it sink in. I also often feel I don't make an impact even despite evidence otherwise, and for me, I sorta suffer from a lack of ‘Existence permanence,’ like, I assume I disappear from people’s minds
i love your blog posts and your noticing page. they always have something new for me to think about that i never would have come up with myself. your noticing page has made me more aware of my own surroundings (i "notice" more now). i don't always reply because my brain can't usually give me the right words, but i think about you and your site often.
in terms of the "not knowing how to communicate to someone in a normal way" my opinion is like. why does it matter to you if it's the normal way or not (also i swear i tried to post this before but it got deleted, or maybe my wifi just died idk)
I read "normal" in this context as "socially acceptable + therefore unlikely to be misread and accidentally offend/repulse"
I’m struggling to pinpoint what you’re referring to specifically @niicespiice, but yes, what @ocrevol said, like, fuck being normal but also, I still worry about social alienation and repulsion because I am really affected by that. It’s hard to fully unmask, though I continue to try.