Neocities

axayacatl

11 months ago

i made a webpage that lets you use your monitor as a lightbox for drawing. you can check it out xxxtras > lightbox ! im in the middle of making it cuter as i post this lol

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axayacatl

11 months ago

i b fucking with bananas

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dragontalez 11 months ago

yo bananas are the shit

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

tarot.html

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axayacatl

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

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axayacatl

diary/2025/032725.html

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axayacatl 11 months ago

sobriety and self forgiveness

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axayacatl

11 months ago

my least favorite take in the arts is criticizing a work for being "edgy shock factor with no substance" imagine going up to a drawing of a smiling flower and saying "mindless toxic positivity dribble". this has always bothered me its so hypocritical

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axayacatl 11 months ago

how are people even defining substance? are things that do not illicit positive feelings void of substance? i feel that motivates the arts to be a form of consumption instead of experience

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

*hides doodle of smiling flowers on art page*...I joke, but the implied quaternary there is interesting: 1. All shock, no substance 2. Toxic positive, no substance 3. Tragic, but meaningful 4. Hopeful, but deep...Rarely is anything so rigidly defined though. 1 and 3 can overlap, 2 and 4 can overlap, and opinions differ depending on who you ask. Lol

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

And therein lies the distinction: Opinions often differ from experience. A piece could be deeply meaningful to the "artist", but mean absolutely nothing to a "critic", or maybe even elicit a repulsion in them. One's feelings about a piece can also change as they hear an "artist" explain their work, or when they learn more about the "artist" themselves.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

All personal perceptions and preferences, especially in someting as interpretive as "art". The nuances make things interesting don't they? :D

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axayacatl 11 months ago

it does and i think about a lot how the audience is part of the experience of art in the micro and macro even the internet as the audience changes how we interpret a piece. i'd go as far to say other external elements including price change interpretation. i think there is something to be said about embracing all elements of the experience outside of black and white, and even accepting (cont.)

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axayacatl 11 months ago

our morals and feelings of disgust and misery as part of this "substance" that is sought after. art is powerful because it summons and invokes things. i think people tend to rob themselves of the "substance" they seek by seeing themselves as separate from it

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Indeed. We could say the same about the relationship between judgment and compassion in general. Condemnation makes one indifferent to another's suffering and simultaneously becomes a repression of one's own.

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axayacatl

11 months ago

sometimes i post sketches on bluesky that i don't post here either right away or at all, my blsky domain is the same as my neocities if youre interested ⛧_< link is also in my about page

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axayacatl

11 months ago

if ur interested in a 20 dollar character sketch commission hmu through my email ! need the $ so i can get my guitar out of the shop for neck repairs

4 likes

axayacatl 11 months ago

my zine "the resin" is also still available on itch.io for 5 smeckles

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

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axayacatl

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axayacatl 11 months ago

my self care routines

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Careful reflection upon virtue brings Self-awareness, and each moment presents an opportunity to act from that constructiveness. Thus, life itself becomes a meditation...heh, I sound like a fortune cookie.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Personally, "a fool focuses on what he lacks, while the wise accomplish much with little," is a lesson that I continue to learn. I do not want to squander or take for granted even the seemingly smallest of treasures, like time.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

...Anyhoo, thank you for sharing your thoughts and routines! Helpful stuff.

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axayacatl 11 months ago

@letslearntogether i agree on your take! i think a reflective life is the core of mindfulness. i think it's good to fully saturate yourself in the present by falling into the mind and body, meditation helps me open up neural pathways that make that easier on a day to day

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axayacatl mental-labour

11 months ago

can u recommend me a book to read tht u think i'd enjoy

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mental-labour 11 months ago

i'd have to see what books you like first lol

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axayacatl 11 months ago

i want to read something that feels like i am living in a medieval plague either literally or esoterically

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mental-labour 11 months ago

Hard to Be a God but you might actually like the film more

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sleepydawgs 11 months ago

@mental-labour that movie is insane

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Haha! Mission accomplished. That is the most accurate recommendation I've ever seen.

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axayacatl

11 months ago

im rlly pleased with my progress in traditional art after a year it's making me want to keep going

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axayacatl

11 months ago

i am looking at you thru ur webcam. u look nice today. i've posted a new drawing

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axayacatl 11 months ago

+ took down the last one it was just too personal

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

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axayacatl

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axayacatl

11 months ago

hehehehe hahaha haha!! teeheehee

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mental-labour 11 months ago

real

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labyrinth-limbo 11 months ago

heard

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axayacatl

11 months ago

blue period is my favorite ongoing manga rn it really pushes me to go against the odds

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axayacatl updated axayacatl

11 months ago

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axayacatl

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

On blog of the 23rd: Fantastic insight about apologizing in public! Any action that is performative, done simply to be seen, often seems to lack sincerity doesn't it.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Is it because, rather than true reconciliation, it seeks to inflate one's own ego through other's pity or praise? While intentions should not be assumed, they can often be felt, for intentions influence the quality of the actions extending from them.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

I strongly agree that forgiveness can be freeing for both the giver and receiver when they are genuine. However, I also think that it is important to be able to let go when one feels like they are "owed" an apology, to "close the loop" as you so eloquently put it.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

While I desire to give mercy for its own sake, I also do not want to be taken advantage of. Finding that balance has been tricky...and misplaced trust can literally be dangerous or deadly.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

On blog of the 24th: While much lies outside of our control, there is incredible power in every choice that we make. What is the vision that you have for your own life and what constructive steps are you taking to get there?

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Sometimes rejection can be a blessing in that it keeps us from situations where we will not be genuinely appreciated. Inversely, being lusted after is to be objectified, not actually cared for. Both situations feel like garbage.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

You are strong, discerning, aware...not to mention, your art is cool. Your miracle(s) will come. Be steadfast in those constructive ways.

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axayacatl 11 months ago

@letslearntogether thank u for ur feedback i can tell a lot of thought went into it. on being objectified the pressure cooker feeling it leaves in the air keeps me independent. it leaves me feeling thankful for my talents in a way i never have as there is this sudden need to constantly humanize myself for no reason other than my own sanity

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Not so much feedback as it is dialogue. I enjoy what you write and I try to show everyone care whenever I am aware enough to do so...Sis, you will never be anything less than human. Likewise, all human beings deserve dignity, so you have nothing to prove. To express gratitude for one's skills and to carefully hone them in order to help everyone in addition to oneself is always good though.

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letslearntogether 11 months ago

Also, you are already sane. We simply live within an insane society...But of course, I state this as a feral man-beast living out in the wilderness at the edge of the city. Society is filled with that "pressure cooker" feeling in various guises. I had to get away from it, even if it meant being homeless. Yet my love of humanity kept me engaged so that I might help to transform it in some small measure.

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axayacatl

11 months ago

i went on an apology tour and wrote about it in my latest diary entry, lmk what u think if u read it

5 likes