Neocities allows anyone to create a free web site to express themselves. Want to create your own awesome site? Join us!
caesthoffe
1 year ago
ive never heard of that story, but holy fuck your imagery is soooo vivid i might as well have been there. love the vocabuulary you used :0
manyface
1 year ago
@caesthoffe thank you so much!! there are a lot of variants of the story, i was surprised to see just how many there are when i was refreshing myself on the premise. i think i know the story from a soviet cartoon?
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
really love how compact and punchy this poem is - completely agree with caesthoffe that the imagery is stunning!
manyface
1 year ago
@ryo thank you!!! it was the sort of thing that came to me as i was trying to sleep and i had to get up to write it down, haha!
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
I really appreciate the honesty and self-awareness of this piece, I especially like how you called back to your earlier poems. I love the imagery of the porch in the middle!
owlroost
1 year ago
Something I've been doing with Muse pieces in general is callbacks! Usually via metaphors echoing forwards. I find it fun and it inspires me to find ways to connect them.
manyface
1 year ago
this is really beautiful!!! i loved reading it! thank you so much for sharing, the imagery was fantastic and dazzling!
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
there is a lot of honesty in this piece that is very well-balanced with a certain artistic flair. I really like the format of the Shakespearean sonnet and the rhyme scheme, I think it adds to the musicality of the piece quite well!
caesthoffe
1 year ago
incredibly relatable, love your use of Icarion as a word. also, don't know if you did this on purpose but "i pray everyday for my body to align with the plans i fashion in my mind" is very tran/non-binary coded, which i loved.
owlroost
1 year ago
Sometimes you read the first line of a poem and know it'll be good. This is one of those poems. The rest followed through, but that first line is going to stick with me.
manyface
1 year ago
this was wonderful and relatable... i loved the rhyme scheme and the overall sentiment. i like that it seemed to be positive at the end, there is hope! remember to take care of yourself.
angelogistics
1 year ago
ohhh maybe i just love how a blank website page feels like a cathedral but this hit so hard & so well ... rlly lovely imagery ! !
melxncholyman
1 year ago
@angelogistics there is something holy to be found in enclosed emptiness… thank you for the praise <3
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
what a beautiful and poignant poem - seconding that the imagery is stunning, you incapsulated so much history, grief and hope in a few words. thank you for sharing your artistry with us!
owlroost
1 year ago
The fractal horses of all things really connected with me. Gorgeous visuals, and it feels rooted somehow in a way that a lot of poetry doesn't.
melxncholyman
1 year ago
@owlroost thank you, i had fun imagining an infinite scale of little horses heheh
manyface
1 year ago
this was really awesome - everybody who said that the imagery is amazing is absolutely correct. an amazing piece. thank you for sharing!
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
absolutely love the format! very effective choice to have no punctuation, it makes the abundant imagery all the more potent!
manyface
1 year ago
thank you so much ryo!!! i was worried it would take away a lot of the clarity (not a bad thing in itself) but that that would compromise the impact. i'm glad it didn't!
manyface
1 year ago
this was so beautiful, i genuinely feel a bit tearful now! i'm really glad to have read this! thank you for sharing!
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
this is such a well-crafted and evocative piece of writing. the last two lines especially are so powerful!
shibardnek
1 year ago
i really liked this one! it really highlights just how panicked one's anxious thoughts can become, and it really nailed it on the head with how quickly it tends to escalate too. i especially like the touch of making it a run-on.
asters-asterisms
1 year ago
i love the rambling style of this!! i feel like it helps add to the emotion of the piece mwah
manyface
1 year ago
i like this a lot!! it's very cool and the run on structure is excellent. great work as always, ryo!
melxncholyman
1 year ago
really liked the escalation of scale and how you cheekily tied it back to the beginning ^^
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
I really like how you focussed on not only the graduality of distress but that of hope, as well. I appreciate how it ends on a note of self-forgiveness, the whole thing put a smile on my face. the format is also very interesting!
shibardnek
1 year ago
thank you! when writing it i was thinking of a computer terminal, and the straightforwardness of prompt fills.
manyface
1 year ago
this was really nice to read, i'm glad there was hope as well as despair and that it all felt like a process with the best intentions of the character/voice in mind, by the end of it!
manyface
1 year ago
this is so amazing... i really loved reading through it, it's beautiful and the repetition is so powerful and poignant. so proud of you for sharing this, thank you.
ryomakesthings
1 year ago
what a beautiful and powerful lament. I love how you went down each line one at a time and how terribly human it all is. thank you for your art!
manyface
1 year ago
this is such a beautiful poem! i'm glad that ikb 79 speaks to you so much, it really is a wonderful shade of blue. - j
museariadne
1 year ago
i love this sm ! what a perfect moment to focus in on (hi sorry didn't want to change accounts to reply)
art music videogames programming anime games food personal writing cats blog movies books gaming fashion photography comics design animation horror game drawing coding manga portfolio furry technology poetry arte ocs reading cute kpop education history programacion animals musica film fun sports roblox literature philosophy html nature programing science tech travel videogame web politics minecraft gamedev school retro youtube computers cartoons life videojuegos pokemon 2000s love video blogging illustration diary fantasy dogs pink random comic gardening memes internet idk videos test linux webcomic oc queer cooking ai kawaii nostalgia y2k tv arg fandom aesthetic news business emo fanfiction journal cars worldbuilding health learning vocaloid crafts silly media stuff films space math fiction 90s stories website cutecore scifi culture css cat arts football painting etc graphics homestuck software marketing goth lgbt baking punk sanrio journaling 3d commissions sport pixelart crochet archive artist psychology digitalart cinema program diy me dance characters dnd comida funny religion trans metal shows makeup lgbtq graphicdesign cool entertainment javascript aboutme streaming editing fanart code sonic development creativity scene clothes series rpg indie friends lifestyle webcomics story roleplay plants comedy languages guitar weird webcore zines electronics rock everything gay hacking ttrpg webdesign cyberpunk educacion community aesthetics study reviews sewing engineering informatica computer beauty basketball it soccer originalcharacters fnaf weirdcore oldweb social vintage vtuber spirituality discord pets project photos vaporwave shop architecture information movie about coffee clothing storytelling deltarune flowers blogs language nintendo japan testing undertale shopping html5 mlp biology magic thoughts cosplay hobbies crypto money digital fitness book radio creative nothing lore blinkies ttrpgs experimental chat info physics tecnologia fandoms cybersecurity astronomy furries alternative japanese singing site bugs websites birds autism occult juegos witchcraft wip futbol other finance resume anything research lain profile band sleeping sleep dolls television theatre gamedevelopment tvshows projects vr events crafting system work apps ghchs genshin linguistics personalwebsite photo vampires all splatoon webdevelopment fish dreams interests transgender knitting python carrd free astrology meme yaoi rap toys developer mentalhealth fanfic puzzle pixels aliens wiki moda collecting app windows fortnite drawings deportes robots coquette animations dancing poems dog touhou a romance family english gothic cartoon bio visualnovels tarot skateboarding stamps security online intro marvel gatos pizza links medicine modding essays fnf frutigeraero osc mathematics humor teaching interactive hiking adventure data characterdesign mystery animes journalism no gamedesign roleplaying lol gyaru dragons gym gallery fansite chess zine rp hobby objectshows creepypasta twitch gifs zonelets jfashion resources pixel home breakcore mythology ffxiv meow birthday puzzles law popculture scenecore privacy tf2 noise ocean musicals myself hiphop vkei traveling twine piano dreamcore death blender graphic introduction podcast audio novels recipes yuri android progamming danganronpa rpgs ecommerce bfdi dark stars plushies communism shrine car hellokitty socialmedia swag robotics indiegames style jogos awesome pictures pjsk activism none omori paranormal studying production running foods boardgames deporte lolita utau educational anarchism wrestling student electronic spanish christianity bunnies jewelry travelling girls things lesbian feminism unblocked misc scratch bitcoin mario vent pinterest filmmaking god old computing clowns volleyball sharks geography webdev dev songs realestate designing outdoors maths store grunge craft 80s pc jpop doom java 3dmodeling peliculas amor help flash vtubers images college starwars collage environment transformers tools tumblr brasil dinosaurs creepy jazz stickers services trains cafe event epic blue bts escuela computerscience translation baseball bl novel plurality yoga chemistry warriorcats construction acting pastel collection mcr lego cine jesus programar cyber southpark persona retrogaming tea programas js libros theater alt fotografia tabletop multimedia therian tcc args podcasts yes forum weed videoediting monsters otherkin gamer horses truecrime shoes whatever trading medical techno programmer estudiante supernatural vlog enstars weather miku cozy dc hardware skating manhwa insects pop homepage videography tiktok people search salud cricket angels economics turismo hi drama skincare bsd curso restaurant learn freedom historia maps dj opensource kirby ecology socialism surrealism modeling kidcore green f1 lgbtqia draw kandi digitalmarketing ropa swimming sound vhs closedspecies girly ideas halloween world service petz tattoos artwork author literatura text bible animanga edm depression cleaning nerd analysis tourism furniture whimsy hockey shitposting fishing conspiracy animales trinkets kdrama cv healthcare egl racing chatting cultura did drugs blockchain homework academia sculpture rats 3dprinting surreal tennis videogaming friendship mobile women frogs scary plural filmes general chill bands library academic hardcore networking knowledge sociology sciencefiction hair cryptocurrency programa brazil wedding informacion alterhuman christian eating truth tutorials soft visualnovel species creation rpgmaker colors programacao ambient society analog thrifting water mods anarchy aviation genshinimpact practice livros miriadax ghosts quotes glitch foss estudio sketching jjba university retrogames company gacha sites anthropology artes conlang server cryptids ux bot batman purple css3 graffiti wellness programs erotica sustainability google onepiece cycling schoolproject review guns class neocities live forsaken twitter garden character mangas superheroes medieval noticias kids harrypotter bikes nails magazine esoteric writting shitpost cs instagram archives revival webseries crime writer startrek play theology blood advertising rants vampire otaku industrial camping dating analoghorror theory tattoo cards lostmedia 3dart performance articles disney evangelion building ceramics talking animal rhythmgames church idols os meditation frontend liminal spiderman house unblockedgames future yapping synthesizers handmade training notes jobs decor illustrations ultrakill shrines youtuber apple content interactivefiction crocheting prompts datascience tareas french voiceacting chaos spooky concerts tecnology originalcharacter silliness tarea new viajes communication designer party finalfantasy exercise sims zelda folklore selfship shoegaze disability something neopets musicproduction facts rambling vrchat animalcrossing creating doodles entretenimiento magick embroidery repair calculator paganism mylittlepony cult satire visualkei hack desing rainbow terror crk sweets cheese geek overwatch download joke creatures jokes photoshop spiritual marxism scrapbooking tic developing miscellaneous quiz black kink anthro halflife desarrollo vlogs commission vinyl shifting php vegan vtubing private conlangs military club tokipona webring happy mtg trabajo ar adhd scp seals bass projectsekai animating musics creativewriting self kdramas oldroblox beach map hotel sanat islam ranfren agriculture drinks tips songwriting beginner archival doctorwho arcane pet more secret tokusatsu mushrooms zombies edits yugioh underground studies motorcycles generator lolitafashion mha ui mecha 1 gender lofi index glitter musician stupid products cottagecore randomstuff rave productivity vibes csgo beer collections kin casino hosting fanfics 4chan dungeonsanddragons words poesia shoujo dandysworld time stem cities red daily ia christmas tamagotchi
this is a wonderful poem and i can feel your expression of pride through the words and images! i especially like that third stanza! :)
it's always a very lovely experience to see other people expressing pride in their own way, and I think you did so very effectively with your imagery. there is this sort of soft joy about it that I really like, almost like gentle breeze through an open window - good work!