Neocities

1 year ago

My friend Balckwell's novel is now free! A lot of what you might have read on my website started out as conversations with him. If you've enjoyed any of my writing, then please take a look at his! https://balckwell.itch.io/only-in-dreams

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vegacollective 1 year ago

This sounds interesting, we thank you for sharing! UBWU

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

journal/index.html

saddleblasters

essays/240727.html

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balckwell 1 year ago

great idea

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

saddleblasters

records.html

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siqu 1 year ago

Seems like after awhile all the "first times" get locked behind long grinds -- "first times" are "successive" in a way, a trail of continuity -- and it's hard to see if they even exist anymore, or if they're worth the effort, and if it's too late anyway. When you find a "successive" path, maybe it makes an opposing vortex against the infinite. One could hope all scattered dots connect and unlock such paths, maybe

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saddleblasters 1 year ago

@siqu Normally I don't think it matters all that much and I can just focus on whatever I've been working on lately, but sometimes looking at my life as a whole, I get sad about "first times" that have been lost, even if like you said they're not really worth the effort anymore. There's so many!

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angelsaremathematical saddleblasters

1 year ago

thank you for commenting on my post about studies! i added your comments to the end of the post!

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angelsaremathematical 1 year ago

i also got sucked into reading your essays. very interesting read. you have a great website. you are cool

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

saddleblasters

poetry/preface.html

poetry/index.html

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saddleblasters 1 year ago

for some reason i made a weird custom twitter-type thing where only i can post

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suboptimalism 1 year ago

i've resisted the urge to do something like this for years

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

saddleblasters

records.html

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saddleblasters standardbody

1 year ago

Thank you for writing about Bandits in Print! I'd love to read your notes on the other books in your reading list if/when you get around to writing them

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standardbody 1 year ago

thank you for your kind words. i have more (less coherent) notes on a variety of books, i'm currently attempting to rationalize my workflow so i dont have to manually write out/format my writing into html. unfortunately i know nothing about computers and everything is broken. but remain vigilant!

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

snapshots/index.html

snapshots/vendingmachine.html

saddleblasters

records.html

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siqu 1 year ago

w.r.t. changing others, it's inevitable so may as well embrace it. Depending on how you influence others, they may enjoy the changes and thank you for it. Reading some of your essays contributed to writing again for some sanity, so thank you (´･ω･`) Weird how writing can be both an exercise in pointlessness but also the spark to change for the better

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saddleblasters 1 year ago

I think it's easier to influence people positively when we're just interacting over the internet. E.g. if you like my writing you can keep reading it, and if you dislike it (or just find an individual piece boring) it's easy to forget about it. But with real life relationships, the good often has to be taken with the bad, so I feel a little sad seeing my bad habits (i.e. anti-socialness) infect someone else

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saddleblasters 1 year ago

Writing is nice, because whenever I sit down to write (or to read something you or someone else wrote) anything can happen. There's always the potential to think new thoughts or to become a new person for a few moments, as long as we can stay out of depressive spirals.

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michaelmas 1 year ago

I think in many ways, nostalgia is just a constant cycle. I used to think I felt nostalgic for a year or two ago, that I was happier then, till a week or two ago when I read my diary & thought things sounded "simpler" & "happier" only a few months ago, when that is not the case. I'm just as happy now as I was then, even if it's a lack of happiness. This is to say that I think nostalgia is largely illusory.

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michaelmas 1 year ago

I make it a point to remind myself that the times I am living right now will eventually be nostalgic for me, and rather than nostalgia being a narrowing, burdensome thing that puts me into some sort of narrative, it’s instead cause for me to live as well as I can, right now. Hope your feelings ease up soon, maybe not happiness per se, but that your necessary sadnesses and miseries become easier to bear.

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wiichicken saddleblasters

1 year ago

the thing about listing is so true. i love making lists, i should make a list page on my site...

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amari-ga-shin-da saddleblasters

1 year ago

Thank you for following!! I really enjoy how simple, yet extremely in depth your website is, I could spend hours reading your whole site and not even be done :3c The subjects of your writings are really interesting too! I'ts cool learning about/hearing your thoughts on Chinese topics, so like I said I don't think I'd get bored reading your site at all (plus your cover image is adorable!)

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amari-ga-shin-da 1 year ago

Also to answer your hat question, I don't think the hat in Binetsu has a specific name, but I think it might be either a toque or an Andean chollo? I did also look up "knit hat with bobble and ear flaps," So maybe try that heehee ^^;

saddleblasters 1 year ago

Thank you! a lot of the illusion of depth on my website just comes from it being disorganized and changing how I do thinks every few months. A lot of the older essays in particular are pretty silly and I need to revisit those themes soon. I read your diary and like all your drawings/character designs! If you like rabbits, there's a popular Shanghainese candy brand called "White Rabbit"

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amari-ga-shin-da 1 year ago

Oh oh I have a bag of white rabbit in my room right now actually :D I like keeping the wrappers since the designs are so cute, thank you for visiting my website also!!

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

saddleblasters

lists/preface.html

lists/index.html

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saddleblasters 1 year ago

Made a place to put lists

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saddleblasters 1 year ago

As with everything on this website, I'm sure this will very quickly become a massive pain to navigate as I add to it. Hopefully I'll be inspired to think seriously about organization someday!

balckwell 1 year ago

you've mentioned your brother's quote about lists often enough now that it's seeped into my brain and i fully believe it

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balckwell 1 year ago

i should start making some lists

suboptimalism 1 year ago

dunno if it's quirky enough but i got this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGFeBHV8v2U

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suboptimalism 1 year ago

i designed a list page a while ago but never uploaded it... maybe it is time

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suttaslime 1 year ago

this is a great idea! i look forward to following this as it grows. going through the music now - i'm familiar with tentenko, but hadn't heard of MikaTen

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

saddleblasters

records.html

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aleph-0 1 year ago

I like your writing style. It's atmospheric.

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onlywonder saddleblasters

1 year ago

Hello! I just redid the JRock webring and invite you to re-join! Sorry for any inconvenience and thank you for your interest! https://onlywonder.net/jrockwebring/

saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

saddleblasters

essays/240424.html

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saddleblasters 1 year ago

It's been a long time since I've written an actual essay. In this last week of National Poetry Month, I'm sharing this piece about Du Fu (my favorite poet?). I hinted at it earlier in the month, and, well, it's gone through quite a few transformations since then.

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

records.html

saddleblasters

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sorbier 1 year ago

that dictionary is horrifying.

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sorbier 1 year ago

i wonder if you might get something out of going halfway of sorts -- bring your phone with you but keep it off unless you need to pay for something?

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

saddleblasters

saddle-show.html

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padma updated 紅蓮的個人網站

1 year ago

semiotics.html

journal.html

incense-mountain.html

daojiao.html

mothcub saddleblasters

1 year ago

vibes

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

saddleblasters

journal/index.html

journal/games.html

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suboptimalism 1 year ago

reading that bob's game essay is like mainlining the zeitgeist of the noughties (gradual descent into complete psychosis included at no extra cost). 5 minutes in, i had a premonition that tim would show up somehow...

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saddleblasters 1 year ago

his characterization of tim is absolutely hilarious!

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saddleblasters 1 year ago

also for the record, i don't think anything he wrote is all that psychotic. it's just a lot of standard buddhist ideas, though expressed through christian language, which i think defamiliarizes it and makes it sound more extreme than it actually is. but, yeah, he's clearly been through a lot, which is what makes this such a fantastic and unique piece of literature

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siqu 1 year ago

"The video game industry (and most other industries) are essentially criminal cults, indoctrinating children with mind control which makes the children stray from their families, develop no skills to have other choices, and become enslaved by the addiction and loss of will, hypnotizes them and leads them right into the waiting hands of the cult."

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siqu 1 year ago

Psalm 82 (´･ω･`)

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balckwell 1 year ago

haven't finished the whole essay but these are far from "standard buddhist ideas"... his is an extremely paranoid worldview resulting from isolation and drug abuse. reminds me a lot of Philip K Dick. regarding your journal: i hope this decision lifts a burden from your shoulders and helps you focus on your other passions

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saddleblasters 1 year ago

Your absolutely right and I shouldn't have said that without rereading the whole piece instead of only relying on my memory and skimming. I was mostly thinking of the "we can all be god" part, but of course there was so much more that I had forgotten/didn't notice

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suboptimalism 1 year ago

coincidentally i read the essay right after finishing a pkd novel and it felt like a smooth transition

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saddleblasters 1 year ago

i think i have an unhealthy tendency to relate to one or two things and translate them into "my language", blinding myself to other things e.g. his attitude in some parts that mind control is just part of our nature and not something to worry too much about became "we're all just constantly deluding ourselves and each other" -- but this misses the intentionality and malice that the word "mind control" implies

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suboptimalism 1 year ago

that happens a lot when people encounter psychotic rambles, they instinctively try to make it "make sense", usually by interpreting things meant literally as being figurative.

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saddleblasters updated saddleblasters

1 year ago

webrings.html

saddleblasters

records.html

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siqu 1 year ago

hope you find the engrossing hobby -- games could be it. A very enjoyable post of yours meditated upon the inaccessible virtual worlds, "liminal pasts" -- what better way than to expand upon it than to add to it with your own, perhaps (´･ω･`)

1 like

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