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standardbody
1 year ago
thank you for your kind words. i have more (less coherent) notes on a variety of books, i'm currently attempting to rationalize my workflow so i dont have to manually write out/format my writing into html. unfortunately i know nothing about computers and everything is broken. but remain vigilant!
siqu
1 year ago
w.r.t. changing others, it's inevitable so may as well embrace it. Depending on how you influence others, they may enjoy the changes and thank you for it. Reading some of your essays contributed to writing again for some sanity, so thank you (´・ω・`) Weird how writing can be both an exercise in pointlessness but also the spark to change for the better
saddleblasters
1 year ago
I think it's easier to influence people positively when we're just interacting over the internet. E.g. if you like my writing you can keep reading it, and if you dislike it (or just find an individual piece boring) it's easy to forget about it. But with real life relationships, the good often has to be taken with the bad, so I feel a little sad seeing my bad habits (i.e. anti-socialness) infect someone else
saddleblasters
1 year ago
Writing is nice, because whenever I sit down to write (or to read something you or someone else wrote) anything can happen. There's always the potential to think new thoughts or to become a new person for a few moments, as long as we can stay out of depressive spirals.
michaelmas
1 year ago
I think in many ways, nostalgia is just a constant cycle. I used to think I felt nostalgic for a year or two ago, that I was happier then, till a week or two ago when I read my diary & thought things sounded "simpler" & "happier" only a few months ago, when that is not the case. I'm just as happy now as I was then, even if it's a lack of happiness. This is to say that I think nostalgia is largely illusory.
michaelmas
1 year ago
I make it a point to remind myself that the times I am living right now will eventually be nostalgic for me, and rather than nostalgia being a narrowing, burdensome thing that puts me into some sort of narrative, it’s instead cause for me to live as well as I can, right now. Hope your feelings ease up soon, maybe not happiness per se, but that your necessary sadnesses and miseries become easier to bear.
amari-ga-shin-da
1 year ago
Also to answer your hat question, I don't think the hat in Binetsu has a specific name, but I think it might be either a toque or an Andean chollo? I did also look up "knit hat with bobble and ear flaps," So maybe try that heehee ^^;
saddleblasters
1 year ago
Thank you! a lot of the illusion of depth on my website just comes from it being disorganized and changing how I do thinks every few months. A lot of the older essays in particular are pretty silly and I need to revisit those themes soon. I read your diary and like all your drawings/character designs! If you like rabbits, there's a popular Shanghainese candy brand called "White Rabbit"
amari-ga-shin-da
1 year ago
Oh oh I have a bag of white rabbit in my room right now actually :D I like keeping the wrappers since the designs are so cute, thank you for visiting my website also!!
saddleblasters
1 year ago
As with everything on this website, I'm sure this will very quickly become a massive pain to navigate as I add to it. Hopefully I'll be inspired to think seriously about organization someday!
balckwell
1 year ago
you've mentioned your brother's quote about lists often enough now that it's seeped into my brain and i fully believe it
suboptimalism
1 year ago
dunno if it's quirky enough but i got this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGFeBHV8v2U
suboptimalism
1 year ago
i designed a list page a while ago but never uploaded it... maybe it is time
suttaslime
1 year ago
this is a great idea! i look forward to following this as it grows. going through the music now - i'm familiar with tentenko, but hadn't heard of MikaTen
saddleblasters
1 year ago
It's been a long time since I've written an actual essay. In this last week of National Poetry Month, I'm sharing this piece about Du Fu (my favorite poet?). I hinted at it earlier in the month, and, well, it's gone through quite a few transformations since then.
sorbier
1 year ago
i wonder if you might get something out of going halfway of sorts -- bring your phone with you but keep it off unless you need to pay for something?
suboptimalism
1 year ago
reading that bob's game essay is like mainlining the zeitgeist of the noughties (gradual descent into complete psychosis included at no extra cost). 5 minutes in, i had a premonition that tim would show up somehow...
saddleblasters
1 year ago
also for the record, i don't think anything he wrote is all that psychotic. it's just a lot of standard buddhist ideas, though expressed through christian language, which i think defamiliarizes it and makes it sound more extreme than it actually is. but, yeah, he's clearly been through a lot, which is what makes this such a fantastic and unique piece of literature
siqu
1 year ago
"The video game industry (and most other industries) are essentially criminal cults, indoctrinating children with mind control which makes the children stray from their families, develop no skills to have other choices, and become enslaved by the addiction and loss of will, hypnotizes them and leads them right into the waiting hands of the cult."
balckwell
1 year ago
haven't finished the whole essay but these are far from "standard buddhist ideas"... his is an extremely paranoid worldview resulting from isolation and drug abuse. reminds me a lot of Philip K Dick. regarding your journal: i hope this decision lifts a burden from your shoulders and helps you focus on your other passions
saddleblasters
1 year ago
Your absolutely right and I shouldn't have said that without rereading the whole piece instead of only relying on my memory and skimming. I was mostly thinking of the "we can all be god" part, but of course there was so much more that I had forgotten/didn't notice
suboptimalism
1 year ago
coincidentally i read the essay right after finishing a pkd novel and it felt like a smooth transition
saddleblasters
1 year ago
i think i have an unhealthy tendency to relate to one or two things and translate them into "my language", blinding myself to other things e.g. his attitude in some parts that mind control is just part of our nature and not something to worry too much about became "we're all just constantly deluding ourselves and each other" -- but this misses the intentionality and malice that the word "mind control" implies
suboptimalism
1 year ago
that happens a lot when people encounter psychotic rambles, they instinctively try to make it "make sense", usually by interpreting things meant literally as being figurative.
siqu
1 year ago
hope you find the engrossing hobby -- games could be it. A very enjoyable post of yours meditated upon the inaccessible virtual worlds, "liminal pasts" -- what better way than to expand upon it than to add to it with your own, perhaps (´・ω・`)
saddleblasters
1 year ago
Thank you! Writing all of this stuff makes me feel exhausted, especially the Chinese stuff, but hopefully I'll find a way to keep coming up with ideas.
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help college tools images stickers starwars flash jazz fotografia acting tumblr jesus java novel trains cafe bts creepy construction services chemistry yoga event alt baseball computerscience epic programar tea translation mcr plurality escuela warriorcats lego theater cyber pastel args collection persona retrogaming manhwa southpark multimedia videoediting therian whatever horses yes pop tcc programas cozy vlog programmer weed historia js supernatural podcasts gamer monsters trading skating tabletop medical truecrime weather techno whimsy forum f1 draw tiktok miku literatura videography hardware people dc girly shoes otherkin insects drama dj bsd estudiante green cricket economics skincare homepage angels opensource socialism salud enstars freedom lgbtqia ecology restaurant modeling maps learn hi kandi search sound swimming kirby ropa surrealism turismo animales ideas nerd tattoos digitalmarketing vhs curso animanga kidcore trinkets artwork text world bible petz cleaning filmes kdrama edm tourism chatting closedspecies halloween analysis conspiracy cultura author service healthcare depression hockey fishing 3dprinting shitposting sociology furniture hardcore racing videogaming academia surreal brazil cv did drugs egl homework sketching bands women scary sculpture colors friendship blockchain rats frogs tennis livros knowledge hair eating mobile plural wedding chill programa visualnovel general thrifting artes networking analog library aviation sciencefiction christian academic ambient creation soft gacha writting practice cryptocurrency alterhuman society genshinimpact quotes informacion tutorials server purple programacao anarchy foss university rpgmaker graffiti species mods truth sites cryptids estudio mangas wellness water glitch ux retrogames anthropology ghosts medieval batman onepiece erotica company webseries sustainability review programs cycling bot nails forsaken jjba harrypotter writer miriadax magazine conlang garden schoolproject theology esoteric 3dart talking css3 tattoo otaku character yapping neocities class rants archives google startrek live guns superheroes noticias theory bikes kids building unblockedgames ceramics crocheting instagram camping notes twitter crime future illustrations cards cs vampire church disney animal performance revival shitpost os french analoghorror play rhythmgames blood shrines house advertising lostmedia decor meditation dating spiderman idols shoegaze industrial training handmade musicproduction chaos articles kdramas evangelion creating viajes liminal originalcharacter synthesizers concerts apple youtuber ultrakill selfship interactivefiction voiceacting frontend terror content sims vlogs scrapbooking folklore disability seals party desing new communication crk jobs animalcrossing embroidery prompts satire visualkei calculator mylittlepony vida doodles neopets vinyl entretenimiento designer quiz poesia exercise datascience finalfantasy silliness repair sanat tareas zelda spooky magick joke vrchat rainbow tecnology shifting creatures paganism rambling halflife facts sweets marxism tarea something geek islam cult developing black commission hack daily anthro spiritual animating vtubing download cheese vegan kink military jokes adhd programmation scp overwatch beach musics hotel mtg miscellaneous creativewriting underground photoshop bass webring ranfren zombies ia desarrollo songwriting club happy arcane tic fanfics shoujo private mha conlangs christmas more ar self trabajo agriculture php tamagotchi projectsekai productivity doctorwho motorcycles studies dandysworld glitter secret todo gender hetalia archival yugioh tips mushrooms oldroblox beginner oldinternet pet mecha edits map tokipona drinks musician jeux programm randomstuff 1 cottagecore gossip tokusatsu rave dungeonsanddragons ui stem hosting collections vibes ciencia generator yumeship red words lofi videgames
for some reason i made a weird custom twitter-type thing where only i can post
i've resisted the urge to do something like this for years