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saddleblasters
1 year ago
thank you so much! i'll try my best to never stop writing, though i'm sure the frequency with which i post on here will continue to be sporadic, unfortunately
siqu
1 year ago
Seems like after awhile all the "first times" get locked behind long grinds -- "first times" are "successive" in a way, a trail of continuity -- and it's hard to see if they even exist anymore, or if they're worth the effort, and if it's too late anyway. When you find a "successive" path, maybe it makes an opposing vortex against the infinite. One could hope all scattered dots connect and unlock such paths, maybe
saddleblasters
1 year ago
@siqu Normally I don't think it matters all that much and I can just focus on whatever I've been working on lately, but sometimes looking at my life as a whole, I get sad about "first times" that have been lost, even if like you said they're not really worth the effort anymore. There's so many!
angelsaremathematical
1 year ago
i also got sucked into reading your essays. very interesting read. you have a great website. you are cool
saddleblasters
1 year ago
for some reason i made a weird custom twitter-type thing where only i can post
standardbody
1 year ago
thank you for your kind words. i have more (less coherent) notes on a variety of books, i'm currently attempting to rationalize my workflow so i dont have to manually write out/format my writing into html. unfortunately i know nothing about computers and everything is broken. but remain vigilant!
siqu
1 year ago
w.r.t. changing others, it's inevitable so may as well embrace it. Depending on how you influence others, they may enjoy the changes and thank you for it. Reading some of your essays contributed to writing again for some sanity, so thank you (´・ω・`) Weird how writing can be both an exercise in pointlessness but also the spark to change for the better
saddleblasters
1 year ago
I think it's easier to influence people positively when we're just interacting over the internet. E.g. if you like my writing you can keep reading it, and if you dislike it (or just find an individual piece boring) it's easy to forget about it. But with real life relationships, the good often has to be taken with the bad, so I feel a little sad seeing my bad habits (i.e. anti-socialness) infect someone else
saddleblasters
1 year ago
Writing is nice, because whenever I sit down to write (or to read something you or someone else wrote) anything can happen. There's always the potential to think new thoughts or to become a new person for a few moments, as long as we can stay out of depressive spirals.
michaelmas
1 year ago
I think in many ways, nostalgia is just a constant cycle. I used to think I felt nostalgic for a year or two ago, that I was happier then, till a week or two ago when I read my diary & thought things sounded "simpler" & "happier" only a few months ago, when that is not the case. I'm just as happy now as I was then, even if it's a lack of happiness. This is to say that I think nostalgia is largely illusory.
michaelmas
1 year ago
I make it a point to remind myself that the times I am living right now will eventually be nostalgic for me, and rather than nostalgia being a narrowing, burdensome thing that puts me into some sort of narrative, it’s instead cause for me to live as well as I can, right now. Hope your feelings ease up soon, maybe not happiness per se, but that your necessary sadnesses and miseries become easier to bear.
amari-ga-shin-da
1 year ago
Also to answer your hat question, I don't think the hat in Binetsu has a specific name, but I think it might be either a toque or an Andean chollo? I did also look up "knit hat with bobble and ear flaps," So maybe try that heehee ^^;
saddleblasters
1 year ago
Thank you! a lot of the illusion of depth on my website just comes from it being disorganized and changing how I do thinks every few months. A lot of the older essays in particular are pretty silly and I need to revisit those themes soon. I read your diary and like all your drawings/character designs! If you like rabbits, there's a popular Shanghainese candy brand called "White Rabbit"
amari-ga-shin-da
1 year ago
Oh oh I have a bag of white rabbit in my room right now actually :D I like keeping the wrappers since the designs are so cute, thank you for visiting my website also!!
saddleblasters
1 year ago
As with everything on this website, I'm sure this will very quickly become a massive pain to navigate as I add to it. Hopefully I'll be inspired to think seriously about organization someday!
balckwell
1 year ago
you've mentioned your brother's quote about lists often enough now that it's seeped into my brain and i fully believe it
suboptimalism
1 year ago
dunno if it's quirky enough but i got this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGFeBHV8v2U
suboptimalism
1 year ago
i designed a list page a while ago but never uploaded it... maybe it is time
suttaslime
1 year ago
this is a great idea! i look forward to following this as it grows. going through the music now - i'm familiar with tentenko, but hadn't heard of MikaTen
saddleblasters
1 year ago
It's been a long time since I've written an actual essay. In this last week of National Poetry Month, I'm sharing this piece about Du Fu (my favorite poet?). I hinted at it earlier in the month, and, well, it's gone through quite a few transformations since then.
sorbier
1 year ago
i wonder if you might get something out of going halfway of sorts -- bring your phone with you but keep it off unless you need to pay for something?
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I’ve never heard of WEC before, I’ll have to check it out
There's definitely plenty in it to like for Neocities people. It's a lot of fun to flip through, even if I find it a little obnoxious sometimes