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swiftred
2 months ago
Hey 😎 A friendly note for this one-- I'm not looking for advice; just wanted to share this story about how my anxiety manifests.
badgraph1csghost
2 months ago
oh that is unsettling. those articles are written by analysts, rather than the people who actually experience the disorder. "it's nothing to worry about", yeah great, well how would YOU like it, sigmund?
swiftred
2 months ago
Lmfao, right. An extra dose of irrational anxiety for breakfast 💜💜💜 No biggie 💜
transferns
2 months ago
ough i'm sorry. i unfortunately know what that's like but it is not fun at all... i hope you can find some way to lessen the frequency of those :/
soulbox
2 months ago
I hope it gets better soons. :c I've dealt with some prettty bad psychosis and also experienced some wild shit before and after sleeping. I don't have much to say in the way of treatment. Stress worsens it, though. Like nightmares, sometimes its a sign that I need to relax. Not that its easy lol but yeah.
badgraph1csghost
2 months ago
you're welcome swift ^^ it's hard to stay optimistic some days, but i try. im glad to know some of that optimism might be rubbing off on people, because we could all use a little hope for the future these days. 😊
miela583
2 months ago
Keeping your blog posts is impressive! I kept piles of notebooks worth of journals when I was living overseas, when I was not mentally doing my best, and had a friend in a different town where they burned trash dispose of them for me for max destruction. I know I should regret erasing that record, but it was fantastic. Anyway, this is probably a very bad comment, but I admire your resolve to keep things around!
swiftred
2 months ago
Thank you! <3 <3 On the contrary!! It means a lot. It's so on point, I used to have a very early blog post about how good I am at destroying things like diary entries and blog posts. But I did a lot of writing this year and it was valuable to me. I think if I were to put them back up, I would end up culling some of them... I don't know. I cringe at past me a lot. Sometimes destruction is the answer, I feel.
badgraph1csghost
2 months ago
that's a common thing in the legit detrans stories I read: the hormones didn't really help them with anything, it just made stuff more confusing, either for them or the people around them. i agree, living in a label-driven, mostly binary society truly sucks ass.
I feel this a lot. Since society mostly tends to want people into man/boy or woman/girl, non-binary people end up being boxed into people's "best guess" the vast majority of the time. Even though I'm probably somewhat non-binary, I don't like the label, and also although some other types of terms like demiboy and agender adjacent like terms seem to fit a bit better, none of them actually do. I prefer he/him though.
Also I don't pass lol, despite 2 years of testosterone, people just tend to refer to me as she/her or seem confused or act awkward or unsure when I tell them my preferred name (binary male sounding name). Kind of annoying but 2 years is still kinda early in the scheme of second puberty. I'm hoping I pass more than 10% of the time in future. I feel somewhat reassured I'm not the only one having similar thoughts.
It's possible people think I'm a trans woman though rather than a cis woman? I have no idea. I'll never know because my estimates of passing if purely based on the reactions of strangers. (sorry for the ramble just thought I'd share my thoughts!)
swiftred
2 months ago
@pixelgade It's more than welcome!! :) Thank you for sharing <3 Heh, and on the gauging passing thing-- sometimes I wish I could ask strangers flat out, "What do you see when you look at me???" But I also expressly don't want to know 😁😁💜 because it may hurt my feelings lol
frutigeraeroarchive
2 months ago
Just paste the URL, maybe youtube is blocking you (that happens sometimes), if that's the case it should fix itself after a day. Or maybe the video you're trying to paste doesn't allow to be played externally.
devhank
1 month ago
well it'd be more fun if I finished the mini js games on my home page, now I'm working on other pages first
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this is such a sweet story ^^
Thank you so much >w< they really attacked me with sweetness
These kinds of pieces are my favorite to read, though I suppose part of what makes them magical is that they can only be written at least partly in the moment -- they can never be forced out.
"I'm grateful for such simple kindness, and at the same time, I can't help but feel bad" <- I feel like this is 100 times a day.
Thank you kindly!!