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neocities decided not to save motd.js for some godawful reason. now the "MOTD:" bit of the motd won't randomize like it's supposed to.
it may end up as a post, but tldr: i haven't even started this new job and its already stressed me out so bad. i'm hoping the worst part is over and the actual work itself will be as described but i've worked too many jobs to be optimistic
somehow, someone decided to hire me. got a slightly weird vibe from them so we'll see how long i last lol
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i wanna redo my nowhere shrine that i spent 1 billion hours and gibabytes on... curious
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rime
4 years ago
the fucked up thing is that i don't thinkt hat how i'm feeling right now is really all that nuts like i think it might just be how people without brain problems feel everyday and its just such an alien feeling to me that i dont know what to do with nyself i'm just gettin turnt on simulated neurotypicality and when i do decide what i'm gonna do withmyself tonight i'll have to focus toa ctually see it through!!!!!
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rime
4 years ago
my brain feels great but tbh my stomach and head feel a little bit off and my pulse is definitely elevated i'm not too worried because this is my first time taking adderall so i know my body needs time to get used to it also i drank soda today (i didnt know i was gonna finally get my adderall later in the day or else i wouldn't) so i think the 2 different stimulants in one day might be the cause but thats an easy fix
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rime
4 years ago
because now that i have adderall i dont need soda anymore honestly i never needed it because it never actually addressed the root problem it just made me do the stuff i wasnt supposde to be doing faster and it never gave me even af raction of hte energy and focus this does i can finally quit soda!!!
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rime
4 years ago
i'll just pace myself while i work on stuff tonight, not move too fast or do anything too strenuous and guess what now that i can actually FOCUS i wont forget partway throug and i'll drink lots of water maybe i'll eat some crackers or toast or something too even though i also stress ate prior to learning about my adderall and have exceeded my calories but its nothing tos tress over because tomorrow is another day and
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rime
4 years ago
and thanks to my lexapro and my adderall i can just eat better tomorrow!! since i have to drive pretty far for my other doctors appointment tomorrow i'll pack a nice lunch and sit in the park i used to go to when i lived there and watch the turtles!! oh i gotta remember to bring some turtle appropriate snacks too just adding that here so i can remember tomorrow
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rime
4 years ago
when i was there earlier this week they kept watching me with their lil heads peeking up above the water and i know its bad to feed wildlife but wildlife in a human-maintained park is only like 1 step away from tame and people are feeding them anyway so i might as well make sure that some of what they eat is nutritionally appropriate for them
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rime
4 years ago
ok disregard my first message maybe neurotypical people dont type in run on sentences moving topic to topic at breakneck pace but fuck it for once in a very very VERY long time i feel really good and i'm actually making progress on cleaning up my room right now me i've put my and my dog's bedding through the wash and before adderall when i looked at clutter i just shut down and became useless and depressed but now i
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rime
4 years ago
can actually do something about it what the fuck i can't believe this is something people are able to just do without needing drugs. people can just keep their living spaces clean and sanitary without drugs and it doesn't cost them every spoon in their metaphorical kitchen!! so long as i have adderall by my side i will never be in spoon debt ever again!!
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fragmentandreflect
4 years ago
Hope you're doing okay as you adjust :). I really appreciate you posting this, as it's how my brain works most of the time and I'm always working hard to tame my mental fractals and make my expressions more palatable for others.
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fragmentandreflect
4 years ago
Though recently I've been meeting more neurodivergents in person and it's really awesome not to have to censor and vice versa..
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bluef00t
4 years ago
god bless the euphoria of getting closer to a good brain-balance and good luck :)
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grats on getting some meds that seem to be helping you!
You may want to gas your place with Fogger or something similiar to definitively end the insect problem. Definitely have to force yourself to remember to eat and drink. Amphetamines, including Adderall, are infamous for how much they dull those cravings. There's a reason every single speedfreak is as skinny as a rail.