Neocities

nerdymug updated Nerdy Mug

3 weeks ago

Nerdy Mug

books.html

2 likes

swiftred updated he mourns

3 weeks ago

he mourns

15 likes

swiftred 3 weeks ago

Hey 😎 A friendly note for this one-- I'm not looking for advice; just wanted to share this story about how my anxiety manifests.

5 likes

miela583 3 weeks ago

Your nails look really elegant!

2 likes

swiftred 3 weeks ago

@miela583 thank you lots!! 💖💖

1 like

swiftred updated he mourns

3 weeks ago

he mourns

12 likes

badgraph1csghost 3 weeks ago

oh that is unsettling. those articles are written by analysts, rather than the people who actually experience the disorder. "it's nothing to worry about", yeah great, well how would YOU like it, sigmund?

4 likes

swiftred 3 weeks ago

Lmfao, right. An extra dose of irrational anxiety for breakfast 💜💜💜 No biggie 💜

2 likes

transferns 3 weeks ago

ough i'm sorry. i unfortunately know what that's like but it is not fun at all... i hope you can find some way to lessen the frequency of those :/

2 likes

soulbox 3 weeks ago

I hope it gets better soons. :c I've dealt with some prettty bad psychosis and also experienced some wild shit before and after sleeping. I don't have much to say in the way of treatment. Stress worsens it, though. Like nightmares, sometimes its a sign that I need to relax. Not that its easy lol but yeah.

1 like

swiftred badgraph1csghost

3 weeks ago

I'm late to find it, but I was delighted to read your August 9th blog about your changes on hrt. And, I was just as touched to re-read your, "the only deadline is death, and I am not going to die soon." It's very beautiful and encouraging and your hope is infectious 💜 Thanks, Tina!! Stay well!

7 likes

badgraph1csghost 3 weeks ago

you're welcome swift ^^ it's hard to stay optimistic some days, but i try. im glad to know some of that optimism might be rubbing off on people, because we could all use a little hope for the future these days. 😊

2 likes

swiftred updated he mourns

3 weeks ago

he mourns

14 likes

miela583 3 weeks ago

Keeping your blog posts is impressive! I kept piles of notebooks worth of journals when I was living overseas, when I was not mentally doing my best, and had a friend in a different town where they burned trash dispose of them for me for max destruction. I know I should regret erasing that record, but it was fantastic. Anyway, this is probably a very bad comment, but I admire your resolve to keep things around!

3 likes

swiftred 3 weeks ago

Thank you! <3 <3 On the contrary!! It means a lot. It's so on point, I used to have a very early blog post about how good I am at destroying things like diary entries and blog posts. But I did a lot of writing this year and it was valuable to me. I think if I were to put them back up, I would end up culling some of them... I don't know. I cringe at past me a lot. Sometimes destruction is the answer, I feel.

2 likes

badgraph1csghost 3 weeks ago

that's a common thing in the legit detrans stories I read: the hormones didn't really help them with anything, it just made stuff more confusing, either for them or the people around them. i agree, living in a label-driven, mostly binary society truly sucks ass.

1 like

pixelglade 3 weeks ago

I feel this a lot. Since society mostly tends to want people into man/boy or woman/girl, non-binary people end up being boxed into people's "best guess" the vast majority of the time. Even though I'm probably somewhat non-binary, I don't like the label, and also although some other types of terms like demiboy and agender adjacent like terms seem to fit a bit better, none of them actually do. I prefer he/him though.

2 likes

pixelglade 3 weeks ago

Also I don't pass lol, despite 2 years of testosterone, people just tend to refer to me as she/her or seem confused or act awkward or unsure when I tell them my preferred name (binary male sounding name). Kind of annoying but 2 years is still kinda early in the scheme of second puberty. I'm hoping I pass more than 10% of the time in future. I feel somewhat reassured I'm not the only one having similar thoughts.

2 likes

pixelglade 3 weeks ago

It's possible people think I'm a trans woman though rather than a cis woman? I have no idea. I'll never know because my estimates of passing if purely based on the reactions of strangers. (sorry for the ramble just thought I'd share my thoughts!)

2 likes

swiftred 3 weeks ago

@pixelgade It's more than welcome!! :) Thank you for sharing <3 Heh, and on the gauging passing thing-- sometimes I wish I could ask strangers flat out, "What do you see when you look at me???" But I also expressly don't want to know 😁😁💜 because it may hurt my feelings lol

2 likes

syntheticetoile

4 weeks ago

I broke my website and now I'm in ruins trying to fix it OMG WHY DID I TAMPER WITH THIS SHIT ISTG

syntheticetoile updated Syn's Digital Coffin

4 weeks ago

devhank frutigeraeroarchive

4 weeks ago

tysm for following me! How can you import youtube videos onto television screens? When I put a link into iframe, it said Youtube didn't allow me

1 like

frutigeraeroarchive 4 weeks ago

Just paste the URL, maybe youtube is blocking you (that happens sometimes), if that's the case it should fix itself after a day. Or maybe the video you're trying to paste doesn't allow to be played externally.

1 like

devhank velvetblue

4 weeks ago

tysm for following my site (although it is still the biggest wip I keep). Found your site by searching "persona" tag, wish I could be productive like you. Btw, how I create indie works on my site is experiencing foolycooly during making process

2 likes

devhank itselinor

4 weeks ago

tysm for following my site!!! Didn't expect you'd put the link of my site at all <3

2 likes

itselinor 2 weeks ago

oh yeah, your site is super fun!

1 like

devhank 1 day ago

well it'd be more fun if I finished the mini js games on my home page, now I'm working on other pages first

1 like

syntheticetoile updated Syn's Digital Coffin

1 month ago

bulltown swiftred

1 month ago

nice to see ya 😎

4 likes

swiftred 4 weeks ago

Thank you-- Always great to see you too, joe 😄💜 I hope you're doing well. The 'stepping out' mural looks cool. You have an eye for neat things.

1 like

bulltown 4 weeks ago

💜

1 like

swiftred updated he mourns

1 month ago

he mourns

17 likes

maxcrunch 1 month ago

I feel like I could have written parts of this myself. I have a strong flight response when I get too much attention! I want community but I don't want anybody to really see me.

5 likes

swiftred 4 weeks ago

💜💜 I appreciate your comment, maxcrunch. It's such a tough thing, imo! Wish it didn't hurt so bad to be visible.

d60010 4 weeks ago

real "why are you me, i'm me" moment. i hate how easy it is to feel guilty just for being negative or depressed. it's a necessary stop on the pendulum of human emotions.

1 like

swiftred 4 weeks ago

I appreciate you, d60010, and I love how you put it with that last sentence.

syntheticetoile updated Syn's Digital Coffin

1 month ago

Syn's Digital Coffin

aribluejeans

1 month ago

Wow, has it really been this long? I'm still here, things have just been wild. We moved! Like, across the country. I'm thinking of redesigning the site but I'm so attached to it how it is. I'm not sure. Maybe I'll make another site instead.

9 likes