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siqu
1 year ago
hope you find the engrossing hobby -- games could be it. A very enjoyable post of yours meditated upon the inaccessible virtual worlds, "liminal pasts" -- what better way than to expand upon it than to add to it with your own, perhaps (´･ω･`)
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something about your writing style makes me want to read it forever. also 在 neocities 上找到说中文的人好开心 :)
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saddleblasters
1 year ago
Thank you! Writing all of this stuff makes me feel exhausted, especially the Chinese stuff, but hopefully I'll find a way to keep coming up with ideas.
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I decided to try once more to be active on bluesky. we'll see how that works out! here is my profile: https://bsky.app/profile/saddleblasters.bsky.social
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saddleblasters
1 year ago
I added this little essay I wrote in Chinese while quarantined in Guangzhou, back in 2022.
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I'm sending out the second installment of Saddlenet sometime this weekend. If you want to subscribe to the newsletter, send me an email! I have my email address at the bottom of my homepage (as well as a link to an (overly long) explanation of what Saddlenet is).
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Okay, wow, gonna need to find time to go through the backlog of your essays. For now, I love the observation that the theory and practice of writing are basically touching. And the idea of gleeful misinterpretation of the masters being beautiful as long as it's meaningful to you in the moment. I relate a lot to your 2023 letter, too, especially the bits about fearing rigidity at the heart of organizational systems.
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saddleblasters
1 year ago
Thanks for the comment and sorry for my late reply! I feel like my whole experience engaging in art and literature has consisted of nothing but misinterpretation. This isn't exactly gleeful, as I'd like to eventually at least be aware of what others consider to be the "correct" interpretations. It's hard for me to avoid misinterpretation though, so I'm resigned to embracing it.
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i loved every second i was reading your first response to the writing club prompt. writing as an extension of thought and wanting to think of something new is something i can relate to all too well. the mundane is so hard to write about, but i'm glad to find someone who finds beauty in it, the inherent surrealism of day-to-day life, especially in this day and age.
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denpatenshi
1 year ago
a quote i really resonated with was this: "one yearns for a new kind of pain, new kinds of ambiguities, that force the mind to confront other possibilities." sometimes, other people succintly put into words an idea you had no clue on how to capture. i really enjoyed your insight- and your commentary on mou tun-fei intrigues me. i never really thought about creation through abstract theory, but it sounds magical.
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denpatenshi
1 year ago
creation on the foundation of interpretation and original thought- i think it ties everything together well. writing as a conduit for understanding the workings of one's mind and ideas. thank you for sharing. i feel seen through you. ♥ can't wait to see your response next week!
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saddleblasters
1 year ago
Thank you so much for reading! When I wrote that yesterday, I had just finished Kazushi Hosaka's "Plainsong", which has character he mentions that as a kid he wanted to be a novelist, but that he gave up on it to become a filmmaker because writing always has to be about something, whereas when making a film you can just turn the camera on when talking to friends and let it captures what it captures.
saddleblasters
1 year ago
The paradox was that Hosaka's novel somehow also manages to feel like a camera dropped into the lives of its characters, capturing glances at their daily routines and snippets of their conversations without making it about anything. Seeing him so successful at it makes me wish I could be a camera — some kind of psychological camera, that captures more than just light, that somehow meditates without judging.
saddleblasters
1 year ago
I read your response as well, and you mention that your writing has shifted from fantasies about other lives to more directly confronting reality. But I don’t think there needs to be a conflict between the two. I think that in recording and contemplating our reality, we can still meditate on our fantasies and why they exist inside of us. The contrast between fantasy and reality can allow us to look at both closer.
saddleblasters
1 year ago
This is one of those things that we could both spend thousands of words writing about, so I’ll leave at that for now. Anyways, it just passed midnight here. I’m not sure what time zone you’re in, but happy new year!
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reading that bob's game essay is like mainlining the zeitgeist of the noughties (gradual descent into complete psychosis included at no extra cost). 5 minutes in, i had a premonition that tim would show up somehow...
his characterization of tim is absolutely hilarious!
also for the record, i don't think anything he wrote is all that psychotic. it's just a lot of standard buddhist ideas, though expressed through christian language, which i think defamiliarizes it and makes it sound more extreme than it actually is. but, yeah, he's clearly been through a lot, which is what makes this such a fantastic and unique piece of literature
"The video game industry (and most other industries) are essentially criminal cults, indoctrinating children with mind control which makes the children stray from their families, develop no skills to have other choices, and become enslaved by the addiction and loss of will, hypnotizes them and leads them right into the waiting hands of the cult."
Psalm 82 (´･ω･`)
haven't finished the whole essay but these are far from "standard buddhist ideas"... his is an extremely paranoid worldview resulting from isolation and drug abuse. reminds me a lot of Philip K Dick. regarding your journal: i hope this decision lifts a burden from your shoulders and helps you focus on your other passions
Your absolutely right and I shouldn't have said that without rereading the whole piece instead of only relying on my memory and skimming. I was mostly thinking of the "we can all be god" part, but of course there was so much more that I had forgotten/didn't notice
coincidentally i read the essay right after finishing a pkd novel and it felt like a smooth transition
i think i have an unhealthy tendency to relate to one or two things and translate them into "my language", blinding myself to other things e.g. his attitude in some parts that mind control is just part of our nature and not something to worry too much about became "we're all just constantly deluding ourselves and each other" -- but this misses the intentionality and malice that the word "mind control" implies
that happens a lot when people encounter psychotic rambles, they instinctively try to make it "make sense", usually by interpreting things meant literally as being figurative.