The constant pressure to have to perform "sociability" is easily the thing that scrapes away the most at my sanity in my day-to-day, abstract and indirect cruelty. Glad you are able to find consistent reprieve at night, away from the judgement of others.
By the way, I'm fairly certain the site-closing scripts only change the index, I usually just bypass them by just appending "/about" to the url, lol.
I read your diary, and I just want you to know that Iโm here. Youโre not alone.
"i have this really tense fear of being misunderstood, but at the same time, i dont want anyone to understand me." NOOOO NOT THE RELATABLE CONTRADICTIONS AGAIN STOP IT STOP IT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHH UAO OODNU ONUONU DONAPOUN I think it's probalby a sense of vunerability or something. Personally I want to be understood, but like... Not by NORMIES or whatever. I want a clone, is what I'm sayuing I think. Hmm.
They clearly knew your birthday was the perfect occasion. What better gift than an entire game dropping just for you?
I'm not some exotic fantasy You won't remember my face. I love these lines ๐ซ
Man, this diary entry hit me really hard. Self-loathing is a bitch, and I struggle to overcome it on a daily basis, to the point where I get no work done, which leads to an endless downward spiral of hate and anger. I do my best to not lash out at others, but it comes across as me bottling up these feelings.
If I could, Iโd give you a hug right now.
I don't really suffer from self-loathing myself but I can relate to the idea of being worried that everything will come crashing down soon. I know nothing about mental health so I can't really help much, but I hope things improve for you. Sorry that I'm pretty useless.