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I would cry out for a savior so much that I eventually learned that if I wanted to be saved, then I must save myself; so I would put in the effort that no one else would give me because I cared, I really truly cared and loved; but then it began to hurt too much that I had to step back and breathe and think. I want to believe that I did what I could to be kind.
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I want to die. I was trying so hard to be good, to do good. People I thought were my friends, who would be patient and understand me called me an asshole and saying I should get lashed over something I genuinely did not know I did wrong. And I don't know what to do. I don't know how to repent other than die like they want me to. I don't know.
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Thank you so much to all the people who've followed recently and in the past! I can't really keep up at this point but I do at least try to have a gander at everyone's sites!
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Had my headphones up super loud when entering your site and I swear I jumped so high I could tickle gods toes. Your website is really cool though and I love your art :D
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Newest upcoming Kickstarter's enamel pin of Antonio Chandrani-Rivera's dads Armando Rivera and Ranvir Chandrani above a rainbowing sunflower (part of the epic science fantasy book the Kickstarter is about): https://starlitseas.neocities.org/bluerizemediamain#ranmando-enamel
New blog post (Blog Question Challenge 2025) and a new pixel clique joined (Isopals)!~
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humanfinny
2 months ago
thats so fun! i think i may try to answer the blog questions also on my next blog post <3
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I'm so sad. I was sad over losing my friendship with them. And then they were so quick to hate me. So quick to say I should get beaten. It's like we were never friends. I would have never thought that of them. I was just so sad to lose them. It's all my fault
If I went away for good, will they finally be happy? All I ever wanted was for them to be happy.
I often think about how careful I was at choosing christmas gifts for them. Some were easy, some were not. One was a garfield doll, a vintage one. I bought it for her because I remembered how much she loved garfield, how much comfort it gave her. I remember the time when I streamed the garfield cartoon for her so she may feel better. It made me so happy to be there for her like that
i know i've not heard of you or your website until now, and that i don't have a full understanding of your situation, but please, please don't harm yourself. self harm is not the answer.