Neocities.org

A new muse entry is out now =)

I feel you on being a late bloomer... I wish the world made more space for us to all take our time. For now, we really do have to take it.

I love your writings. And yes, I feel the same. Or that I want to do what I do out of love and not out of pressure from the world around me.

I feel I’m in good company. Thank you @owlroost

Thank you @soulbox, this means so so much

A new blog post is out =)

ah, this one hits close to home. identity is such a struggle, but I find it comes when you're not looking for it.

I also have these tendencies + appreciate your candor in writing about this experience, it can indeed feel very alienating!

I used to have a similar problem. When I was growing up I used to make a lot of blogs which I would usually end up deleting. I'm a bit more discerning about what I put online now to try avoid that kind of anxiety that I've "said too much". But I can relate to being miserable when my gender identity wasn't matching, it felt like an entirely different life where I would dissociate all the time and feel disconnected.

I'm glad this resonates for you all :) And thank you lots for taking the time to read my writing and leaving thoughtful comments. I'm always delighted when there's dialogue surrounding a piece

Popping in to tell you about my month x3 Very small update

That’s very big, though, even if the amount if text is small compared to the whole page! It sounds like things are moving in such a wonderful direction!

Woah mega-congrats (^○^)

Thank you both!! <3 <3

Yay this is great news!!! Excited to see where this transitional journey leads you!

Thank you!!

So great to see this update. Congrats on starting T! My advice: start taking progress selfies! It can sometimes be hard to see the changes when they happen slowly, but looking back at photos from a year ago makes me realize how far I've come! You got this!

Thank you!! What great advice. I've been recording my voice so far, but now I'll also be taking selfies =)

I forgot to put back buttons on two of my blog posts, so figured I'd fix that. I doubt anyone is paying that close attention to me, but it feels better just to announce that I may not update the site for awhile. I'm feeling burnt out and stressed, so I'm trying to give time to let it pass.

Take your time and feel better soon! Stress is no fun, don't over-extend yourself working on your website ^_^

Thank you kindly!

Get some rest, treat yourself kindly. ^^

A wild blog post appears! in which I tell you why I'm a silly goose

Part of my job is customer support over the phone, and I suspect some people expect that if they are talking to someone following the golden rule, it’s their privilege to take advantage of it. Being kind is still important, I think, but I agree with your conclusion here pretty thoroughly.

Ugh, this is such a good post and such a hard lesson to learn, I feel you. My partner and I had to sit down and talk about this because I kept operating under this rule, but the way I wanted to be treated wasn't necessarily the way she did, and vice versa. I hope you can get back some of the kindness you put out into the world, even if it's expressed differently.

This is a wonderful entry, one I (and I'm sure countless others) really feel. I was actually talking earlier to a friend about something related; our ways of masking our autism often comes out as extreme politeness, and for me specifically, submissiveness. It is hard for me to identify sometimes that when I laugh at a stranger's joke I don't find funny, or smile and nod my agreement, etc., if that is -

- me wanting to be kind and acting out of my heart, or simply the way I feel I must behave. It's certainly a nuanced thing, especially when taking into consideration what you've said about how everyone loves and needs differently. Commencing my yapping now!

It made my day to hear that you both enjoyed and related to my post, and it's nice knowing I'm not the only one <3 thank you for commenting. @iztopher thank you for the well wishes!!

@phi1l1y I honestly think masking is such a bigger part of this than I give credit for. I've been trying to unmask in small ways, like trying not to be overly emotive, or compulsively smile all the time at everyone and, like you said, not laugh at unfunny things, and I realize just how deeply ingrained it is!! You're right that it's hard to separate. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts!

My second entry for muse is now out =) I'm letting out a deep sigh as I release this one

this felt like it was so cathartic for you. sending you much love <3

Very much so, thank you <3 <3

I'm proud of you for finding that way out and holding tight to it. It's okay to be scared of the unknown, but it says a lot about a person's strength when they continue alongside their fear. I believe in you. Sending all the best wishes- may life be an upwards arc of things getting better for you from here.

I'm proud of you for making it this far, and I'm excited for the next chapter of your life! may it give you the breathing space you need to find out how to be yourself as an adult. i definitely relate to feeling like you've lost your younger fire

Wishing you all the peace and space to heal and grow. I'm so glad you made it to a safe place <3

Wow! I've got chills. You're a very clear and emotive writer. And I'm so very excited for you, with the end of this dark winter in sight. Sort of like a yule celebration--you're halfway through this long dark. :)

@owlroost that means so so much, thank you for the well wishes and kind words. I definetely viewed my fear as a weakness, so this is a beautiful, empowering reframe

@iztopher thank you so much <3 I really appreciate it

@cheytopia thank you <3

@kph that's very evocative imagery, thank you for the thoughtful message. It's about time, it's been night for so long! It touches me that you find my writing to be clear and emotive. I will hold that close to me for a long time <3

wow, this piece was so intense and wonderful. so proud of you for how far you've made it. it's always okay to be scared, and i'm wishing you luck as time goes on!

Thank you so much @tehuan <3 <3

So many wonderful additions to the button wall. I'm so grateful for all the new, positive interactions <3

YOOOOO IM THERE HI BUTTON ME (I honestly really want to make a mutals page maybe thats what ill tonight hrmm yes i think I will) ALso I listened to ctrl by sza because you said it was one of your favourite albums on your about page and it is just so damn good!!!

YOOOOOOO HI =D I can't believe you listened to it because of me :,3 I'm really glad you liked it!! It brought me so much comfort, I had it on repeat for at least four months