Part of my job is customer support over the phone, and I suspect some people expect that if they are talking to someone following the golden rule, it’s their privilege to take advantage of it. Being kind is still important, I think, but I agree with your conclusion here pretty thoroughly.
Ugh, this is such a good post and such a hard lesson to learn, I feel you. My partner and I had to sit down and talk about this because I kept operating under this rule, but the way I wanted to be treated wasn't necessarily the way she did, and vice versa. I hope you can get back some of the kindness you put out into the world, even if it's expressed differently.
This is a wonderful entry, one I (and I'm sure countless others) really feel. I was actually talking earlier to a friend about something related; our ways of masking our autism often comes out as extreme politeness, and for me specifically, submissiveness. It is hard for me to identify sometimes that when I laugh at a stranger's joke I don't find funny, or smile and nod my agreement, etc., if that is -
- me wanting to be kind and acting out of my heart, or simply the way I feel I must behave. It's certainly a nuanced thing, especially when taking into consideration what you've said about how everyone loves and needs differently. Commencing my yapping now!
It made my day to hear that you both enjoyed and related to my post, and it's nice knowing I'm not the only one <3 thank you for commenting. @iztopher thank you for the well wishes!!
@phi1l1y I honestly think masking is such a bigger part of this than I give credit for. I've been trying to unmask in small ways, like trying not to be overly emotive, or compulsively smile all the time at everyone and, like you said, not laugh at unfunny things, and I realize just how deeply ingrained it is!! You're right that it's hard to separate. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts!
A wild blog post appears! in which I tell you why I'm a silly goose
Part of my job is customer support over the phone, and I suspect some people expect that if they are talking to someone following the golden rule, it’s their privilege to take advantage of it. Being kind is still important, I think, but I agree with your conclusion here pretty thoroughly.
Ugh, this is such a good post and such a hard lesson to learn, I feel you. My partner and I had to sit down and talk about this because I kept operating under this rule, but the way I wanted to be treated wasn't necessarily the way she did, and vice versa. I hope you can get back some of the kindness you put out into the world, even if it's expressed differently.
This is a wonderful entry, one I (and I'm sure countless others) really feel. I was actually talking earlier to a friend about something related; our ways of masking our autism often comes out as extreme politeness, and for me specifically, submissiveness. It is hard for me to identify sometimes that when I laugh at a stranger's joke I don't find funny, or smile and nod my agreement, etc., if that is -
- me wanting to be kind and acting out of my heart, or simply the way I feel I must behave. It's certainly a nuanced thing, especially when taking into consideration what you've said about how everyone loves and needs differently. Commencing my yapping now!
It made my day to hear that you both enjoyed and related to my post, and it's nice knowing I'm not the only one <3 thank you for commenting. @iztopher thank you for the well wishes!!
@phi1l1y I honestly think masking is such a bigger part of this than I give credit for. I've been trying to unmask in small ways, like trying not to be overly emotive, or compulsively smile all the time at everyone and, like you said, not laugh at unfunny things, and I realize just how deeply ingrained it is!! You're right that it's hard to separate. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts!