rooting for you & yours from afar :,)

As always a well written update from you Sauer. I wanted to comment on your consumerism concerns, since I struggle with allowing myself to own things, which is something I'm working on. I think surrounding yourself with objects is part of living outside of your own head. Mainly I wanted to say, I think the human "joy of objects" predates "consumerism", to me "consumerism" is more a lack of thought and care

--> I'm also really interested in your thoughts on bugs/plants (pointing to my last sentence here as well). I try to talk to my friends about it sometimes, where the borders are to our "sphere of empathy" (i made this expression up) like, no one gives a shit if they hurt a starfish, as soon as there's no brain involved, it all goes out the window, but as you say it starts way earlier than that.

The only future for us is in having empathy for a rock.

@sneek: Thank you! :,,) @manul: Also thank you! I agree that physical objects get me out of my head, and I need that a lot. I try to curate the things I have, and also treat them like friends. The way I want to treat plants and bugs and people! I too care for rocks. I looked into Jainism as a child, but recognized it was very outside of my ability to do so where I live and our food system at the time and all that.

I also like the term "sphere of empathy". Mine extends pretty far. I think if something can feel, it can probably distinguish "pain", "fear", and "loss", in addition to "happy", "safe", or "familiar". We can form mutually recognized relationships with so many things that aren't other people. But then I think about how other people often do not extend empathy to other people depending on who/what they are.

"My partner came home and scooped me up like I was a cat and just twirled me around singing about it." so sweeeeeet + grats on new job :'] / re the friend, tbf having a disorder isn't an excuse to be a dick to yr friends, & all that; good luck with handling it all in ways you can... 🤧

Unsolicited advice, so take it or leave it, but I found KC Davis's book Who Deserves Your Love very helpful for understanding boundaries and how to make decisions about whether/to what extent to cut someone out of your life.

@sneek, thank you, I'm excited! It helps to hear that from others and has been shifting my perspective, I appreciate it. @emily, I usually read books to figure out how to handle these types of things, so I appreciate the recommendation! Thank you, it's going on my "to be read" list.

I do NOT understand what is going on with your former boss ????????? I'm glad the situation seems to be working out though ?? (also I see all your foodposting in this and I love it)

I agree. It feels like maybe he feels bad? Or, I did a bad job, but he knows I can do better so he is trying to be supportive?? I dunno lol. Also, big fermenting weekend coming up for more food posting!

your blogs are always so lovely to read. i like your point about the "elders" in your life especially, and overall just how thoughtful you are in your writings. good luck with that assignment btw ^^

oh my god, i want to live in peach and pickle heaven like you. re: elders, i agree completely. it's hard to break away from their ideas and judgment, but in the end you gotta do what's best for you. congrats on the move!

I've been with my partner 9 months and we just started the moving in together talks, I feel like if the communication is there and you're spending so much time together anyway then why wait longer? Congrats!

Why is waiting 2 years better exactly. I say go for it. As always lovely to get an update from you !

Btw if you ever want to post more details on the fermenting, I would be interested !

On the edge of my seat about the armored combat potential hobby, LOVE how you wrote the beginning of that paragraph. It finds some kind of emotional resonance.

I love reading these updates. Happy for you sauer !!!!!!!

Thank you Manul!!!! I'm having a great time :-)

"I’m tired of fighting my nature and general inclinations" I RELATE... Honestly I'm really happy for you Sauer. But your work team does need to get in the game if they can't manage a single day unsupervised !!

sauer i am so stoked to read your last few updates!!! hell yeah go get life

Thank you both! I agree about my team lol. I have become quite ambitious of late and am really enjoying getting after it all!

!!