NOWHERE IN NEVADA

killing-machine.neocities.org

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made a poll on my tumblr for this but figurd id ask here, if i were to stream myself working on that grunt dressup game would people be interested in watching that (i can also save it as a vod too for late watchers)
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i really like it here on neocities, everyone is really supportive and chill but i think im starting to get overwhelmed by all the eyes on me. i dont know how you guys do it.
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killing-machine's avatar killing-machine 2 weeks ago

i think its easier to remember theres people out there because people treat me like a person here so random bursts of realization that theres. so many fucking people here. like actually here looking at me. its wild, i honestly just wanted to have a spot to express myself and collect web gadgets and toys. its pretty cool but freaky.

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killing-machine's avatar killing-machine 2 weeks ago

if this is difficult to read then thats normal, im extremely brain fogged and its hard to focus on making things legible.

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shittymeat999's avatar shittymeat999 2 weeks ago

I get what you mean!! Im slowly growing and its scaring me a little bit.. ive seen some sites get deleted because they got caught in the crossfires of something for no reason, and theres also people who are still around. I made my website SHITTY meat for a reason when i made it, to fuck around with html and stuff. So i feel the exact way

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diremptiness's avatar diremptiness 2 weeks ago

I get this a lot. My coping mechanism is to just kind of disconnect? Since all my work is done locally and then uploaded to Neocities later, I try to just get on once a day (at most) and upload. Then I'm "done" for the day, I browse a little, check out some new sites and finish my day. Does this work? Not all the time. But it helps sometimes.

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girlattheendoftheworld's avatar girlattheendoftheworld 2 weeks ago

If it helps, as someone who has very few followers and views, but loves keeping up with more 'established' pages, I pay more attention to the creation than to the creator. At the same time, so valid to feel the way you do.

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goooby's avatar goooby 2 weeks ago

i was literally thinking about this last night, lol. starting college has me freaked that my website has too much sensitive information on it and maybe i overdid it a bit ๐Ÿ˜ญ. maybe i wouldnโ€™t be so scared if i didnโ€™t have 1k+ followers. ultimately it is overwhelming, and even turning off your nc profile can help. or just letting things die down for a bit.

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olliveen's avatar olliveen 2 weeks ago

dude i totally feel that, sometimes i realize how many eyes are on my site and i get scared

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tabf5's avatar tabf5 2 weeks ago

I have a bit of an opposite problem where my creative background for the decade before joining Neocities was to try and make things that got me seen on the giant social media apps, to fulfill some sort of attention I wasn't getting in my real life. Still trying to learn how to not rely on the (unexpected) attention my Neocities page got as it grows on here too. TL;DR dont do clout kids

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olliveen's avatar olliveen 2 weeks ago

@tabf5 I UNDERSTAND THAT TOO!!! i feel like my feelings about my site's visibility are constantly oscillating between being being nervous that so many people are paying attention to me and chasing that validation i desperately wanted when i tried (and failed) to become a famous instagram artist in high school lol

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cr34t0r's avatar cr34t0r 1 week ago

i can relate hank, everyone is so nice. their websites are so cool. no toxicity and stuff.. you just make fun stuff.. dw about the views and followers, its not about how popular you are, its about that you keep making stuff you like and thats the whimsy of having self expression, freedom and self expression..

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websitelink's avatar websitelink 1 week ago

i totally feel it, i mean i only have like 10 followers and 4k views but i think thw thing that makes me be like "nah no one is looking at my website im still small" is (besides comparing it to twitter where i do get interactions) think that the views apre people that only click at your website for one second and then click off. i dont know if thats how neocities work nor i wanna know if its different

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killing-machine's avatar killing-machine 1 week ago

thank you for all the replies, it feels really nice to be heard like this and actually comforting knowing im not alone feeling this way. i apprecaite you guys's time and comments i just dont have much else to say besides thank you annd glad im not alone on this boat of fears. its actually comforting too and it feels like a lot less pressure.

killing-machine's avatar killing-machine 1 week ago

@tabf5 i've got a history of also trying that but it became overwhelming when i kept getting stalkers and in really abusive relationships with people so it's become more just be trying to unlearn being a content maker and be more myself. so far so good i hope

I was on YouTube and the recording of that Farlands event you posted about on the 26th got recommended to me out in the wild. Holy shit this looked BANGING https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfyESdrNz1I also the youtube poop at 1:21:31 is so fucking funny. There's so much effort in this event it's overwhelming (good kind of overwhelming)
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zooquarium's avatar zooquarium 2 weeks ago

This is so cool!

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ichomancer's avatar ichomancer 2 weeks ago

What kind of interdimensional cable have I stumbled across hahaha? This is wicked!

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killing-machine's avatar killing-machine 2 weeks ago

i love it so much its my third year going. its soso fun

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note: gonna take inspiration from the game routine for this. its ui and overall vibe and aesthetic fit our collective so fucking well besides madness combat
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killing-machine's avatar killing-machine 2 weeks ago

if you dont know what routinenis you really need to. really good horror game that was in development for 17 years. its really fucking gokf

actually instead of using a guestbook im gonna be using https://askmos.me/u/killingmachine to answer questions if people ever happen to have any
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datoxicwaltz's avatar datoxicwaltz 2 weeks ago

have to make aan account to send one though...

killing-machine's avatar killing-machine 2 weeks ago

@datoxicwaltz aw what the fuck, never mind then i was hoping itd be like curiouscat . back to the guestbook then

i think i got banned off of piclog this is unfortunate but expected
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killing-machine's avatar killing-machine 2 weeks ago

i was hoping i could get away with the pipe down image but i forget that its not accepted on all sites lol oops

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cr34t0r's avatar cr34t0r 2 weeks ago

you said you have a lot of headmates and i was wondering of how you gonna fit all of them.. if your not planning to add a lot of em, i can understand why..

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cr34t0r's avatar cr34t0r 2 weeks ago

also, this looks great!!

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killing-machine's avatar killing-machine 2 weeks ago

@cr34t0r im not adding them all for privacy sake. the only ones that are added are if they want to or have the social media/activity for it. i'm keeping it pretty filtered but slowly over time maybe more will join but for now its just the small amount.

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cr34t0r's avatar cr34t0r 2 weeks ago

ohhh i see

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does neocities have an official discord or something like that, im looking to lurk there if there is one
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someones-insane's avatar someones-insane 2 weeks ago

not a official one, but r/neocities does

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Last updated 9 hours ago
CreatedMar 13, 2022
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personal art queer neurodivergent