The Bone Folder

emilynhoward.neocities.org

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kolala's avatar kolala 2 days ago

Late to your original question, but how about using labels to be as a safe space? For instance, I have my pronouns in my site even though it doesn't make a difference to me. I'm a cis woman, so the default she/her works. And even if someone misgenders me, I wouldn't care because I have never suffered from it.

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kolala's avatar kolala 2 days ago

So in that case, rather than being a defensive thing, it's just to tell others that I'll respect their pronouns if they ever interacted with me. To try to make it safer for those who might be dealing with discrimination in other places. I rarely interact with others, but if there's a chance to make things a bit less hostile then it's worth it.

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kolala's avatar kolala 2 days ago

Bonus reason: some blinkies and stuff are just cute ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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pixelglade's avatar pixelglade 1 day ago

Agreed with Koala. Before I came out as trans, I didn't self-identify very much as anything online, in fact I preferred to hide it. But even coming against prejudice about being trans from even my own family and facing random abuse in public and online, self-identifying works as both indicating to others that I'm "in the know (e.g. about pronouns, etc)"/ am safe, and also practically works as a filter.

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pixelglade's avatar pixelglade 1 day ago

Also, I've poked around on the old web on archives of geocities and others, there was quite a lot of self-identification especially in the LGBTQ community, much as there still is today. I haven't looked at other communities but I suspect your observation on race, nationality, etc, are the same. When there's so much information online, choosing who to follow or spend time with is important, labels help with that

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ghostscape's avatar ghostscape 14 hours ago

i think my thoughts are not comment-sized but: this topic is super interesting, your thoughts reflect a lot of my own feelings, and also the current comments are spot-on too. how I've felt about online labels over the years has maaassively changed and part of that is to do with the kind of privileges I have changing

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emilynhoward's avatar emilynhoward 7 hours ago

@kolala Thanks for the perspective. Yeah, I think that different sites with different purposes use labels differently. For myself, I've had experiences where I thought I was a good ally and ended up causing harm, so I don't see myself as an expert on whether or not I'm a "safe" person. If someone is wondering if I am safe to approach, I would recommend that they read around my site a bit and decide for themselves.

emilynhoward's avatar emilynhoward 7 hours ago

@pixelglade Several years ago, I got harrassed on the bus by someone claiming that they "couldn't tell" "what" I am. Shortly afterwards, I got some pride pins to put on my bag so nobody could claim to be confused about it and to take up space as a queer person. So I get that as a reason to self-label online. But to me there's a thin line between creating a community and creating an echo chamber in online spaces...

emilynhoward's avatar emilynhoward 7 hours ago

...and that's the part that I'm still trying to figure out. I was not connected to the LGBTQ+ community in my early internet days, so I did not see the self-labeling happening there. My guess is that the practice started in small communities connecting around their identities and get got more mainstreamed over the years.

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