Oh gosh I'm so sorry. Please take all the time you need, look after yourself and stay safe. We'll all be here waiting for you <3
take care of yourself and take your time. just do as much as you need to to get yourself back together
My sincere condolences as someone who is proximate to this exact experience. My husband was apart from me and in Paradise, California when the 2018 Camp Fire happened. I woke up to messages on my phone to the tune of "everything around me is on fire and I don't know if I can get out, if I die I love you."
He was one of the lucky ones who made it out but more than a hundred people burned alive because it was a town in a pine forest full of mostly elderly people and only one road in and out. He lost his family home and everything in it, nothing remained or could be salvaged.
My point in mentioning this is this: don't be hard on yourself if the grief lasts way longer than you expect, a lot of people weren't understanding about the whole "losing everything" thing since everyone survived. Even if you had insurance, please ask around and see if there are fire funds who can extend monetary aid. There are a lot of organizations who will pay all of you hotel + living expenses until you can find
a new place to settle in, and they will provide relief even on top of any insurance payouts you're entitled to. Stay strong and take care of yourself and if there's one positive thing I can say, you will see how much your community will help you and each other.
Thank you for your thoughts, too. These are scary times. I don't have much to offer, but I just contributed something to the gofundme. Take care!