the only thing i could think of would be that your headphones problem is psychosomatic... are you able to wear them at home but not at school ? does having like over ear headphones cause it ? you could maybe try a plugin for your music.. a crossfeed could help you if thats a problem as it merges the left and right tracks :3

yea my headphones are over ear and have no problems when i wear them at home so it probably is psychosomatic

Buy earbuds. Like, ear protection earbuds. I'm currently looking into some so I can go to a class without all the YAP YAP YAPPING. Also I wonder if you can drop out of school? Because I know a lot of people who defend schools and intentionally continue to go to them, despite them harming their mental health. Althoiugh for some people they aren't able to quit :(

also, if this is any comfort: there are still genuinely nice people out there, but it's drowned out by misinformed people. misinformation breeds cruelty. people make fun of queer people because they don't know any queer people and aren't taught acceptance, so what's "weird" (things they aren't educated about) is something they belittle. that's the conclusion i've come to.

a "distant" group of people that you don't know, and don't understand because they're not like you, those are the easiest people to attack, because you don't see them as "people." the way to fight this is to let them know you're human too. not sure how to do this yet, but i'm investigating a solution

also sorry for the text wall but ALSO: ai looks ugly. i think you are getting too worked up over ai usage though. even as an artist who wants it as a professional job, it doesnt matter. people who dont care about quality will use ai, but i dont care, because artists shouldnt care about people who dont care about us. and, not everythings about money. ai art does take some jobs but again, these are just lazy schoolkids

YESS SOMEONE ELSE WHO LIKES LAMENTO (this looks awesome)

😢 i just want u to know i really get how you feel... thats really how ive begun to feel recently especially the colder the months get... you end up just feeling disconnected from your school's community completely bcs there arent people that are really like you or get you... at least thats how ive been feeling recently ｡･ﾟ(ﾟ⊃ω⊂ﾟ)ﾟ･｡ stay well

yes!!!!!!!!

lamento....... love this page

i THINK this is the right part to comment on so... the schizoid stuff just sounds like a traumatised autistic person? idk. maybe you havent been traumatised but.. i understand not wanting affection. but personally i think the reason is because "i havent found the right person/people yet, either that or im just very depressed." anyway, like, "disorders" are just things made up by psychologists

they are JUST a group of psychologist's opininos, right? so when disorders overlap and you try to figure out "Which one do I have..." it's kinda silly. me included. because these labels are created by oppressive systems that want to call us "broken" and "disordered" and then we go "yeah im broken, which kind tho?" and its just a bit sad really

obvs you do relate to people with szpd, and maybe that IS enough to say you have it, but i'm talking about like... sociological philosophy here ig. i should probalby write a blog post about this. i have a lot of weird philosophiocal thoughts sincei was pretty young and theyre all building up and exploding bro