i have to remember i'm not doomed, as in damned. i might be doomed, as in my fate might be a shitty one, but i'm not damned, it's not inherent to me and it's not my fault. i'm literally a fucking cripple, if i don't get as healthy as i need to be as quickly as i want to that will suck but it won't mean i didn't try hard enough. i'm okay in that way. it's not my fault. a few things are, but not that. not that
1 like
it makes sense that i don't know how to do a lot, it makes sense that my fears overwhelm me entirely because anxiety makes me sick and i'm already always kinda sick, it makes sense that not every day is a good day for me and not every day i'm able to get a photo or even write or even act human. it makes sense. i'm not normal, but i'm not weak
i have figured something out, though!! there is -- only sometimes, but often enough :)) -- a pattern, with my good days and bad. bad; i didn't sleep well and i ate out or ate just before going out / trying to go out. good; i slept okay and i ate either after going out or at home and then waited a while to go out