New journal entry, this one's pretty heavy so I recommend reading the warning I put

Hey, I am glad you're still around. (i mean being alive, not just the internet). It takes a lot of vulnerability to share this, and I hope people respond to it in kind.

As painful and as much courage as it had to have taken, thank you for sharing this. Probably one of the worst elements of shipcourse is forcing people to bear personal scars that shouldn't be public knowledge in the first place. I really hope you're able to find healing and closure, in spite of all of the terrible things that have happened to you.

On a side-note, I did used to self-ID as an antishipper more than five years ago due to personal squicks and my social circle at the time. Although one side is far more harassment-happy than the other, shipcourse in general is toxic and mutually harmful to everyone involved. It really just comes down to avoiding one's squicks + triggers and leaving each other alone.

@smokoswebzone I was the same too where I'd identify as an anti but mainly because of a certain negative experience with predators who called themselves proshippers, but later I got the same experience from predators who call themselves antis so I ended up realizing later on that shipping discourse is stupid & doesnt describe someone's morals or desires at all

Basically if we all minded our own business & stopped expecting that everything should always make us comfortable then the internet would be a much better place

@arataka that's more or less how I was; I thought antiship meant "hated pedophilia and incest and didn't associate with ppl who liked it in fiction." There's this idea that proship people are predators-in-waiting, and I too found that sex-pest behavior exists on both sides. If smoking out an abuser was as simple as checking someone's fiction/ship habits, then it wouldn't be such a widespread problem!

But yeah I definitely agree! I also noticed that my own fiction habits don't at all align with my real-life behavior (I'm an aegosexual ace and very into horror lol). So now I don't ID with either side despite agreeing with proship ppl more than I disagree. Worrying about ourselves and protecting our own peace wrt squicks/triggers/etc. is the best path to take.

banger page

Just added links to my other socmed accounts even tho I dont use them as much 👍

Changed the microblog to statuscafe instead of pikidiary because I like talking to people on there & it was clogging my feed lol but you can always follow my profile there https://pikidiary.lol/@cyanide

New journal entry + it contains some sketches in there :^)

love the new journal entry! so fun to read through, and i loved the art!! also your commentary LMFAO...

I am so fascinated by your hate of reigen, loved the journal entry!

Nothing but respect for my yumejoshi brethren! 🙌