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reading this made by heart break. i know those feelings well, and i wish i could give you advice, but i havent found any solutions myself. just dont push yourself too hard. youre an amazing person, and i know you can get through this. please stay safe.

Lisa, if I were there I would hold you. My life is so much better because I know you. I will try to write to you soon. I remember the days when I was working in fast food hell & I would read your emails before work or on break. So much love & strength ♡ You are precious to me ♡

୨୧velvetblue forgive me for moving you in such a way. i appreciate your kind words and sentiment so much, and i will take to heart your encouragement. i wish the same for you, and pray for you and your wellbeing, and relief for you as well. you are too kind, thank you so much.

୨୧vashti thank you so much for your kindness, no pressure to write before you are ready. i hope you are well, and you are in my prayers. be strong, and know that my heart and spirit is with you, and i am sending you wellness and good health. ♡ my thoughts are with you

most people are very self-centered, it's normal. i know what you mean by people are less interested in you than you are in them, but try not to let it get you down. you are definitely a memorable person lisa, you just have to build your self-confidence so that concern and worry over the thoughts of others doesn't bother you so much.

one thing i've learned is that one of the biggest ways to become miserable is to expect things of others, especially if you don't tell them so. when you don't receive the reaction you're looking for, often it has nothing to do with how you are (and you are not ruining anything or doing something wrong!) but the other person and their compatibility with you, among other things outside of your control. be at ease.

i also think that it can be a nice thing when you and another person are at a point in the relationship where you can keep each other company while saying nothing at all, especially because it's also normal to run out of things to talk about. don't believe the lie self-doubt your mind is trying to tell you, and have more faith in yourself. ♥

୨୧strawberryreverie thank you for your kind words and advice. i think i definitely have a long way to go when learning about social situations and what it means to have friends and learn and maintain relationships with others, so i really appreciate you taking time to comment and explain the concepts, it is so kind of you. i definitely need to tamper down the negative and self doubting voice and belief in my head 1/

୨୧strawberryreverie 2/ because i definitely notice that my perceptions make me act in accordance of the feelings of doom. you are so right about expectations, because how can someone fulfill an expectation if they are not aware of it. that is so true. i have a difficult time with being at ease, and just accepting things as they are. i really want to make that muscle skill strong and reflexive.

୨୧strawberryreverie 3/ the more i explore and learn about socializing and friendship skills, the better i will become, i definitely need more practice. there are a lot of things that are new to me, and that i don't understand, and thank you so much for explaining to me. i hope i can be more successful and positive going forward, and work on accepting and letting go of projections and fear.